I'm going to start a Mamdani "Birther" conspiracy that he was actually born in the US and he can run for president.

What happens when you distill 2025 into a single social media post? This. This is what you get.

Elder millennial will reading: To my oldest son, I leave the family hashtag #themcrazysmiths and my paper mache mobile home made from receipts for avocado toast and $6 coffee.

I'm voting for Robert Mueller and the rule of law today

If you believe in Hell but don’t think Dick Cheney is in its lowest circle, your religion is worse than useless as a moral guide.

New awareness campaign

Goo

I think if you enjoy Hamilton, you shouldn't get to have opinions about art. Basically marks you as axiomatically irritating to the core of your very being.

I call em like I see em. Blurry, blurry, another blurry one.

Currently the only person in the bar wearing a costume

One of my clients keeps referring to a pergola as a gazebo 😡

My ai girlfriend told her parents about me, they were not happy

How it feels to hit a lick on a solo where I play Lydian going upwards and Mixolydian going downwards

This is bullshit, I'm calling the police

Chudler? I hardly know her!

Finding a way to work my shutzstaffel skull into the word "coexist"

I'm trying to drop my morning dookie in peace

I think Dracula could defeat Frankenstein but I don’t think Count Chocula could defeat Frankenberry and that speaks to the richness of the characters

Currently eating a creamy goddess, the horniest of the salads

Chef Boyardee

I like coffee because it goes in brown and comes out brown

We're having the same kind of night

Currently watching a band that is bad in a bad way and not an ironic way

This is insane… It's taken the US 100 years to do what Rome did in 250 years regarding its currency devaluation. How does this make you feel?

Knuckle tattoo ideas "TAT2"

We are the sons of the Hamburger you couldn't Help

Jesus is my copilot and we're drunk driving off that water2wine

I've been feeling kind of down lately. I could really use good milkshake duck to raise my spirits

Do you have a super pac? Are your opinions valued by the Dems? What influence do you have in the Democratic Party and its funding structure and the policy platform? You are outside a private company that is pretending to be a party and looking in. You are a fool and do not see reality for what it is

You can't fuck an ai secretary, I'll tell you that much

>mamdani wins election >Staten Island secedes from New York, joins new Jersey >Balance restored to the east coast

His dad was a sailor and his mother was the sea

Hepa is a great name for a daughter

I've been looking over my portfolio and I'm not sure if my Good Boy Points are going to be at inflation this year

Italians are like "I don't have to go to work? For a good cause? Bravo"

me watching the hot dog in my toaster oven freely drip onto the heating element

The wifi of the day is catching me

The way of the future *im sorry I didn’t catch that* The way of the future *im sorry I didn’t catch that* The way of the future *im sorry I didn’t catch that* The way of the future *im sorry I didn’t catch that* The way of the future *im sorry I didn’t catch that* The way of the future

Comrade Kimmel????

Jesus Christ.

Let the record show that @bsky.app suspended me for saying Mashalla at the news of his death

They do be marching

Joined November '24 strikes again

That's none of my business but congrats timmy

>Soviet style >Pyongyang - nam style (?) Why are they so desperate to call a fascist a communist

Currently tailgating at UNC with the North Carolina version Boomhauer

a startup founded and funded by crypto evangelists, vaccine truthers, employing austrian economics diehards and having deep ties to the neoreactionary right thinks you lack decorum