I should have been born to some godforsaken European country. I don’t even care which. I don’t respect them or America but at least if I was born in Europe and not America I don’t have to give a fuck about America. Bullshit ass fake country. Bitch country.

Between school lunch online influencers and mre online influencers it’s literally just slop top to bottom. It doesn’t matter if you sign up to die for this godforsaken country or you’re some kid getting a free school lunch, America just wants you to eat slop and die.

I don’t know if you guys follow the democrats on tik tok but there’s some real quality stuff being done by a dipshit 20 year old staffer

I’m going to die in 20 years. Look at this fucking beard I’m Santa now

Like this post if you remember hearing the hit song mmmmbop by Hanson and how happy it made you at the time. Retweet for uncritical support of Iran in their struggle against our dying empire.

I’ve had an empty can of brake clean rolling around in the bed of my truck for almost 3 years and now it’s gone what the fuck man

Guys I think the zoomers are finally getting it

This movie is going to be so terrible and I cannot wait to see it

What’s it called when you’re racist but not towards someone’s skin color but towards the ai robot you’re gonna have to work with when you’re 60 because I’m gonna be that guy

If fat Al Roker ran for president, I’d vote for fat Al Roker 100 out of 100 times

Sunday can check losers

I am once again watching Hamilton with these damn women im forced to live with. What a monumental piece of shit, just a really bad guy no matter what angle you look at it with

Ok guys. Just so we all agree. We’re all gonna play the classic British game of mouthy spitty until we all have the Hantavirus and when this country economically shuts down again we’re not letting it come back this time. We kinda fucked up last time but god apparently gave us a mulligan.

My daughter had a small part as nurse in her school play of Dracula and her lines are done but I gotta tell you guys something while this play is still going on. Dracula is played by a white girl and her lackey is a black girl and they call each other master and slave and just goddamn lmao.

Every ad I get on YouTube now is slot machines, kalshi, draft kings, and stupid ai generated girlfriend chatbots. Someone’s gotta answer for this, someone’s gotta die.

I log off for like 4 days and everyone is beefing with some shithead who runs the website like come on man if you don’t wanna get banned don’t tag the guy who calls the shots even if he is a pedophile did we all collectively learn nothing from Elon Musk and Twitter

My wife gets so mad. But nothing is gonna stop me from putting banana ball on the tv. I don’t give a fuck about friends or everybody loves Raymond I wanna watch silly ass fake baseball.

Voting is dumb. Why do I have to go stand in line to make what I want happen instead of what I don’t want to happen. Why can’t I just go to work and the government just does stuff in my benefit. I think about this literally every day

My wife has these pictures on our coffee table just to make sure I’m extra sad every day I guess. Damn ass woman.

I’m going to get a bluesky bluecheck guys. You don’t even know what I’ve got cooking to make sure it happens

It sucks so bad America came to an agreement with Japan like 80 years ago about how we’re just their military. It sucks so bad we had a bitch ass president like 60 years ago who was like don’t invade Taiwan. What is this world we’ve created can we just hit the rewind button

Post a meme made by you

Post a meme made by you

Just found out some people call themselves solo poly and I could not have imagined a more annoying type of person if I actually tried

Honest to the real god, our lord and savior Jesus Christ, I’d fuckin kill someone for her. I’m not even joking Virginia Giuffrie could visit me as a ghost and ask me to kill prince andrew and I’d have to figure out the logistics but I’d make it happen. Nothing is too big of an ask for ghost Virginia

It’s so funny being my age and remembering a Call of Duty game that came out like 15 years ago where America invades Tehran. Some dickhead game developer was like ‘we need something wildly outrageous to sell this video game like America invading Iran’ and here we are.

Beauty pageants are one of those things I just get madder about the more I think of it. So you mean to tell me we take little girls and try to make them appear more fuckable for what or who exactly? Society just collectively said it was ok with pedophiles doing window shopping in pageant form?

One of the really cool things your nerd ass teachers will never tell you about refusing to participate in this facade we call democracy is that you can literally bitch about all of it all the time because you voted for none of it.

Just heard some really good advice. If you get a bucket thrown on your head at Lowe’s and when you take it off and realize it’s some zoomer prank for YouTube or TikTok, beat the cameraman to death first. The guy doing the prank is taking the risk but the cameraman always gets away with it

Im 38 years old my dad is 59 and its so weird trying to explain to this old ass man how the internet works and that yes, you can trick a streaming service into thinking you actually live in Canada so you watch ghostbusters or whatever on Netflix

I haven’t locked my door in 3 years. My Great Dane sounds scary as hell. She won’t bite but if you’re the kind of stupid to open that door when you hear that maybe god takes over and she kills you I don’t care. Steal my switch2 and my big tv.

I remember being in college and buying some bullshit ass laptop from a pawn shop just so I could install Linux and I was like ‘yes, I am fighting the oligarchs who control us by installing this tedious ass operating system that does not work at all’ and man I wish I could be that guy again

Which strain of cbd or thc makes me a better shot I need the weed nerds to chime in

My big brain take is cloning isn’t real. If it were, every single team in the nfl would have tom Brady at qb. Every baseball team would have Ohtani. Dolly the sheep was completely fake.

They should rename it the Gay of Hormuz so the President will stop caring about it

If you’re gonna make hot dogs tonight, get a tall boy of your favorite bock or other dark beer. Pour it into a pot to get it warm. Get a pan and fry your hot dogs until they’re brown on all sides. Pour that warm beer into the pan with the hot dogs and cover for 10 mins while the beer steams them.

As someone who was an adult in 2008, it sucked shit and everything was bad and I knew a grown ass man with kids who lost his job and then his house who blew his brains out because he thought it would financially save his family because he had not defaulted on his life insurance. It did not.

No matter what happens this year, no matter how bad life gets, always remember. You outlived the Dilbert guy.

I finally found the single thing AI might actually be useful for outside of making memes about SpongeBob doing 9/11

lmao

Do you guys remember that stupid ass robot dog the nypd bought and it turns out once you just use spray paint on its ‘face’ it becomes functionally useless until someone cleans it. My fat ass is not gonna go to jail because some damn ass robot can beat me in a foot race is all I’m gonna say

Listen. I’m just calling balls and strikes here. She probably needs to die because of crimes against humanity. But I’m watching wrestlemania and Stephanie McMahon’s titties are looking fat and awesome.

I just learned what an auroch is and goddamn. It turns out all these skull measuring freaks that should probably just die are wildly obsessed with not only race science, but weird animal science in that they want to bring back some giant ass cow that went extinct 700 years ago

Do you guys that brief period of time where faceapp let you do race science? That was so sick they should bring that feature back

I am again watching glee and there’s a high school teacher pulling her titties out and I’m just wondering who is this for. These damn high schoolers don’t need to see titties. Worry about school you fucking perverts. Stupid ass fucking bullshit show I’m forced to watch

I’m gonna be honest. I find it extremely difficult to feel bad for a YouTuber, but especially this fuckin YouTuber

Let’s go to war with the Vatican. Let’s see how dedicated these pedophile apologists really are in my opinion

Just killed a spider with my bare hand and all these damn women in my house are telling me how gross I am now. Sorry I’m a problem solver and don’t have panic attacks over bugs I’ll just let you guys handle it next time. Damn women.

Why are libs going so hard for swallowswell he’s not even charismatic or memorable he’s just ‘a guy’. There’s like 500 other just as shitty guys democrats could just replace him with immediately and expect about the same outcome I literally do not understand this.