post-dinner. laszlo’s curled up next to me in bed, diligently cleaning her paws. i lean over to kiss her torso one time. one too many. she flounces off the bed. fin

saw a tiktok where a non-desi girl did commentary on an SRK film. first thing she said “one thing about this man, he’s gonna look from afar” i’m CRYING

day in the life of laszlo regretting her choice to come hang out w me

My belief system is pretty complicated but if I had to distill it down to a few core principals it’s that theres alcohol in hydrogen peroxide and you can drink it when they won’t let you have mouthwash

making paneer for the second time ever today!!! first time was 7 years ago lmao lets goooo

Nah, man, it's been that way basically forever. Outside of the small window where we had new deal stuff happening, it was mostly luck otherwise

Really interesting thread. Taco Bell is getting the blame but actually we might still not know where the outbreak came from if it wasn’t for their help:

patiently waiting for food & also i’m tearing up bc i’m so used to her weight on me & in 10 years i won’t get to feel it any more

swear to GOD if i see another goddamn influencer say “i HAD to return [insert product]. not bc of how amazing it is but bc there’s a MASSIVE sale on it rn” i will PULL MY TEETH OUT

sunday afternoon realization that my vibe is just a mix of my parents’ vibes. tearing up bc together they created divinity

Please do not speak ill of the dead. The dead are the best of us and you should aspire to be dead.

i will say lindsey graham being asked by a reporter how mitch mcconnell is doing, answering “i don’t know, i’m going to check right now” and then dying is hilarious

everyone pissed at Sorloth for not passing to Haaland - he was clearly trying to pass but took so long that H got too protected by English defenders & S had to try to score bc that was his last option. its 1 mistake, get off him. this shit is what got Andres Escobar killed

i don’t need a famous man with good vibes to have released a rap banger in his past that’s only getting traction rn bc of his current unrelated fame,,,, but it is weird that it happened twice #Mamdani #Haaland

Twitter was a good website for telling jokes and reading jokes. X is a good website for being white and having nothing else going on.

decided i’m cool w England winning bc Bellingham’s damn attractive & also? Haaland’s best friend

Thank you as always to Soccer Computer for making the cool thing not happen retroactively

“what’s going on, Norway was doing so well before, what are they doing rn” “no i think Norway’s continuing to do what they were doing before. now what that is, is anyone’s guess” bruh i didn’t know sports commentators were hilarious i’m howling

the cat's been in the litter box for an hour just scrolling on his phone

apparently its humid as hell & feels like 99F on the field for Norway v England. i would literally kill myself

tuned into the Norway v England game & the camera’s just following Haaland. glad they understand the people’s focus

do i have giant hands or is my baby the tiniest little girl in the world

when ppl ask me if i’m a jealous person, idk what to say. romance? absolutely not. friends? 1000% i’m mad already. & that’s why i’ve always fully understood frankie from the basement yard podcast

i’m CRYING LMAOOOOO

god its so funny to me when my cat gives herself a chore then comes to me afterwards exhausted. i didn’t make you intensely stare at the robovac all afternoon, my love

acting like i invited ted bundy in

some guy posted that he “improved” vada pav by replacing the bread with chicken patties & the comments are raging. didn’t realize others had my passion for vada pav, the rice a roni of mumbai

i do this with @bamfalu.bsky.social at work, its a great time

someone tried using google gemini to prove me wrong today so i said “i’m a real life gemini! my opinion has to matter more” turns out it doesn’t

only archetype more annoying than people who make tattoos their identity are people who make not having tattoos their identity

rly loved Sillunu Oru Kaadhal. i had a crush so secret on Suriya that i would deny it to myself bc i loved his pairing with Jyothika so much i felt like a 10 yr old homewrecker lmfao

never watched Vijay movies growing up so i was more of a Suriya girl. now i’m not saying i’m morally superior to everyone else in the world rn,,,, but,,,,,,

if madTV’s Nicole Parker (playing Elaine Stritch being interviewed in the afterlife) improvising a pro Gen Z song doesn’t get you to listen to the We’re Dead podcast, what will

kinda hate the meal i made for my week but i resigned myself to it. just got home & realized i accidentally left it out all day in my 80F apartment,,,, thank you god for always being on my side

Make overnight oats with blood instead of milk to kickstart your day with some red

now that its basically been 20 years. can we admit that Kamal Haasan made Dasavathaaram so he could do George Bush face guiltfree

new litmus test for your tamil friends is “who liked trisha’s bday post for vijay”

Please Use AI

bluesky has groupchats!!!!!!!!! i’m so hype

me: i’m feeling rly insecure about my wrinkled eyelids @bamfalu.bsky.social: looks like an elephant’s eyelids. one step closer to ganesha!

The sole thing Democrats are willing to use "I'm the President and no parliamentarian shall stop me" power for is killing Gazans.

no offense but why does fb think i’m a weird & cruel bigot

original mormon wives iykyk

might sound paradoxical but i get soooo hyped when a friend doesn’t notice my new haircut. to unintentionally give me the gift of plotting the big reveal

it’s Danny Gonzalez time

people found out the 3 most problematic mormon wives are geminis and suddenly we’re under attack yet again. in our season no less!!!!

just saw this baking video (secretly a metaphor for hair transplants). finished the whole thing to realize that it was never a metaphor, i just assumed the choco cake was a patch of brown hair wasted 3 min thinking “what could the frosting possibly signify” i’m so mad

did someone call

theres this desperation to the way people talk about twitter and this site like ohh twitter has more engagement! more is happening over there! politics! like why do you need notifications so bad homie. go outside and talk to people. you are addicted to dopamine

in the bathroom, combing my hair. laszlo walks in. fully ignores me. walks straight to her (clean) litter box. she stares inside for 3 minutes. i finally speak up. hi baby whatcha doin she meows, surprised. walks off. one day i will understand her