Jeopardy! is hiring a clue writer, a role that opens about once per decade. Found the posting last night. The deadline is tomorrow. You have to submit an entire game’s worth of clues written by yourself, along with one source to verify accuracy (Wikipedia and AI not allowed.)

That PK is out in False Creek.

28-3gypt

I can hear Andres Cantor all the way out in Baton Rouge.

Of course

Egypt running the length of the pitch like it’s FC26 on Easy mode.

The worst people you know are going to be so damn loud about this.

The USMNT and Knicks being really good except for the precise moment when Trump involves himself is really funny

Wtaf

If Poch pulls an Alamo Bowl Gary Patterson, it’s so on.

Let me gently remind you that Ted Cruz decided to chime in this morning. Rangers, Astros, Cowboys, Texans, Stars, Spurs, Rockets, Mavs, Longhorns, Aggies, Red Raiders, Bears, Mustangs, Horned Frogs, Cougars, Miners, Bobcats, Roadrunners, Mean Green, Bearkats, Vaqueros, et. al. all know how this goes

That defensive breakdown was extremely 2010 and 2014 coded.

And now, we pause to see what hot-button issue the American church is faced with today.

So if the USMNT win tonight with Balo, it’s tainted. If they win tonight without Balo, it’s upstanding but attacking honest play will become a central theme of the midterms. If Belgium win, we’re gonna hear the people who cry RIGGED cry about it again until millennials reach retirement age

Mexico is gonna have to pull the goalie to get the extra attacker like now.

Darren Fletcher deserves a GoFundMe to get himself a few pints after this epic.

I need this in penalties like oxygen

Listen, I’m unconvinced that England has a man advantage.

Elmo doing a line on the countertop dot gif

England’s goal song is that damn ear worm from World Darts because of course. 😂

MAGNA CARD-A (I am yanked off stage by a comically large shepherd's crook)

Dude said "fuck it I don't want to run anymore" and just kicked it in

SKOOOL

Lubbock District Court strikes again!

Appropos of nothing. m.youtube.com/watch?v=OdKp...

Me, when the Boston Pops cover Dropkick Murphys.

Gonna be in Toronto the day of the Final which will still be incredible because it’s so deeply multicultural, so whoever is playing will be well represented, but I was secretly hoping their home squad might somehow find a way through.

😢 m.youtube.com/watch?is=-na...

Two random citizens, one residing in Kentville, Nova Scotia, and the other in Kenitra, Morocco, each just received a knock on their door from a FIFA official and were shown yellow cards.

Incredible work by the Fox producers letting this moment breathe with Country Roads.

This Is actually Brian Kelly

TEN?!

That’s a fuck you goal. Ball don’t lie.

sadly the US will now have to turn against soccer for twenty years

Previous reports of burnt waffles were greatly exaggerated.

SENEGOAL

In what civilization is that not a penalty

Exit light Enter night Take my hand Morocco beat the Netherlands

ALL THE DOINKS

This Tournament Is absolute cinema

As called on TV Trece in Paraguay:

Tough day for the Axis Powers.

Banzainoooooooooo

Made a big cooking move last night. Finally stopped buying jalapeños and instead opted for serranos. Absolute dynamic changer. Jalapeños don’t pack like they used to, apparently another thing my alma mater has poorly handled in recent years. Fully on Team Serrano.

*laughs in Joey Chestnut and George Shea*

Okay, so it turns out that a 48-team group stage absolutely delivered.

on top of the US government conspiring against the team, and FIFA's bad format, and the team being literally the last team out of the knockout rounds .... .... .... they were like one combined foot from winning two games and finishing on top of their group