can’t stand illnesses. they make me Sick

sydney sweeney and scooter braun welcome first child Zara Labubu Palantir Adrenochrome to the world 🤩

libs are like “we could have had kamala tearing apart families and putting kids in cages instead”

it’s very cool to wake up an hour before your alarm for no reason

what a lot of people still don’t seem to realize is that capitalism is about making profit even if it makes products and your life worse

those meal recipe videos make it look way faster to prepare. they just snap their fingers and the veggies are diced

getting the impression that sportsball isn’t even a real type of game

we’re all in this mess because millennials killed the having money industry

society if the butterfly hamgurger tall

sorry guys, i can’t hang out at this special social event we’d been planning for months. i gotta go home to my agents. i need to be with them

thinking about that caked up italian luger

“babe, do you love me?” is flavia part of the lavazza legacy?

i’m like a shōnen protagonist except i’m okay with my current power level

“a yankee in king arthur’s court” by mark twain is technically a proto-isekai

(setting up the ass-biting mechanism) hope this won’t come back to bite me in the ass

every alt band photo

conspiracy theories have now been validated into conspiracy laws

sometimes you get into bed and it’s just like “yes, this is where i belong”

dwarves reproduce by laying eggs in each others’ beards

the chances of it happening this year are higher than ever

i was told nothing bad can happen. i was led to believe it can only good happen

MAGA Influencer: We need more quaint small towns like the one in this picture I found when I Googled “quaint small town.” *Picture is of a town in Vermont that Bernie Sanders wins by 58 points. Lesbian couples own every store.*

my AI wifebot, she’s very sick

imagine pledging allegiance and it’s to the united states flag lmao

dude, you’re pledging allegiance to THAT flag? lol. lmao

winter weather is like “40°F but feels like -10°F”

drinking extra extra coffee today as both a treat and a punishment

being annoying is a spectrum and we’re all on the spectrum

i baptize you in the name of the father, the son, and the holy uncle

trump is the real victim here. he was sex trafficked by jeffrey epstein to underage girls

i’d like to see AI try to take my job of guzzling resources and producing slop

it’s always darkest when dawn is the furthest time away

can’t believe you’d expect me to do my chores when the dow jones is over 50k

my dem candidate voting guide is basically: gavin newsom(will not vote)<aoc (might vote)<actual socialist (would vote)

republicans scrambling to reinstate mail in voting when they remember the majority of their base is old af and can’t get to the polls

against the death penalty as a general rule, but once the trump 2 regime is out of power i may have to reconsider

cogito ergo something

“in an exclusive interview, tech ceo says-“ gonna stop you right there. whatever they said is wrong

the dow jones is over 50k and you’re asking me to wash the dishes??

i’m neither probiotic nor antibiotic. just simply biotic

the fact you can convince americans their tax dollars pay for the olympics but not what they actually pay for

jeffrey epstein and bill barr created a virus together

you’ve given me no choice but to have the illusion of choice

fuentes and andrew tate should just hook up already. come on guys

can’t prove it but i don’t think pam bondi has a soul. just an evil, empty shell in the shape of a human

next year there will be an ad that’s like “if you don’t buy this we will kill you”

wild it’s already been three years since the LAPD killed my brother