Looking at a picture of an insanely beautiful and creative woman who talks to me on the internet: but do we have compatible lives? I just don’t think we have the same social battery.

I’m losing patience with people asking, “why isn’t somebody in the government stopping him?!” Because this is what our government is and leftists have been trying to get this through your thick noggins for decades. That is why filtering everything through electoralism is a dead-end.

Cool to actually be living in the sick country with demented leaders who have nuclear weapons.

Denis Buonga is the greatest soccer (football) player of all time. Maybe better than god even. #LAFC #MLS

Oui, oui, oui hon hon

rip to your land war in Asia but I'm different

I am far from a tactics expert but #USMNT look really bad. No juice. #USAvPOR

Coming soon: my brave memoir of the decades I spent aiding and abetting The Crimes Against Humanity Factory and why I left to pursue the noble profession of pundit and consultant to the anti-crimes world.

objectively the funniest critique an american could level at another country

There's a new Snail Mail record out so please be patient with me for the next six months as I become weird and obsessed.

FROM: [email protected] .com TO: kashmoneymillionaire@gmail .com SUBJECT: EXCLUSIVE OFFER!!!!! Dear Mr. Patel, Nike is excited to offer you a new line of Air Jordans!! These EPIC shoes feature the FBI logo along with the text "FEMALE BODY INSPECTOR". Click the link below to claim your shoes

As a kid doing competitive martial arts in the 90’s I was standing ringside once and saw Chuck Norris standing next to me. I blurted, "hey, you're Chuck Norris!" He looked at me with complete contempt and said, "so what kid?" Now he's dead and I'm alive. Who's laughing now Charles?

I don’t think people appreciate enough just how many things I could tell them each day that would bum them the fuck out but I just don’t and I deserve to be recognized for it.

Sup

David Martinez is a killer. #LAFC #CONCACAF

Can’t wait to hear from Sonny stans about how his absolute abysmal play this game was MDS’s fault. 🙄 #LAFC #CONCACAF

They’re calling it Cola Baybee Diet which stands for Coleslaw and Baked Beans Diet.

Abbott Elementary episodes where Jacob crashes out trying to do some scheme just give me life.

"We're going to engineer an onion that doesn't make you cry." Brother, you are fucking with the essence of the allium and God will not forgive you in this life nor the next.

Just kind of meditating on the fact that J Edgar Hoover was a pioneer in information science and staffed out the early FBI w smart guys you could train to act like cops and now his political runoff is like “We’re here to do HGH and put perps in the Kimura”

Sup

Baddie in the streets, crying and feeling guilty that they can’t measure up to my attentiveness in the sheets apparently

So true bestie.

Every game officiated by Drew Fischer is chaotic as fuck. This dude is an evil wizard hellbent on killing every soccer player in the American continent. #concacaf

It’s crazy a guy with zero motion created a podcast called MLS Moves.

Sup

One of the worst aspects of so-called "AI" is that powerful people are relying on these obsequious chatbots which empower their worst instincts and feeds them the worst ideas possible. You can witness it throughout the entire economy and it's gonna' be BAD when this accumulated shit hits the fan.

US told me Iran keeps blowing up its THAAD systems so I asked how many THAAD systems it has and it said it just goes to imperial outposts and gets a new THAAD system so I said it sounds like it’s just feeding THAAD systems to Iranian missiles and then Netanyahu started crying.

mel_blanc_yelling_supercut.wav

Fuck daylight saving time. It’s giving gaslighting. I know the sun and she said this is all bullshit.

Sup.

No no, I love you as a FRIEND with big naturals, a juicy ass and gorilla grip 😽

I need tattoo artists in social media to shoot arms landscape mode and legs portrait because sometimes I have no idea what I’m looking at.

Whoever is booking over at The Last Leg and put Penny Mordant on the same week as @vittorioangelone.bsky.social did something beautiful.

Defiant personality disorder ahh nation

wow there sure are a lot of tickets available on the secondary market for this world cup game, did something happen?

No, I’m okay. It’s just being a pillar in this many people’s personal growth narratives can be a bit much sometimes is all. I’m sure I’ll get over it.

It’s been said before, but bears repeating: the reason cis straight white men are so obsessed with accusing people of abusing their identities to gain an advantage is because they themselves are the group who does that more than anybody else. They cannot conceive of a cooperative, diverse world.

Lionel Messi and Hugo Lloris were the two team captains in the 2022 World Cup Final in Qatar, and yesterday they were captains for LAFC and Inter Miami 😯 Two greats still going strong 👏

I literally watched them give LAFC a foul when the player didn’t even touch the guy who literally just tripped over his own foot! But apparently that’s not enough for King Baby Lio 😂 These guys were flopping all night. Loser behavior.

With a crowd of 75,673 at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, tonight's match marked: • The largest opening day crowd in MLS history • Second-highest single-game attendance in MLS history • The highest-attended match in global soccer on Saturday

What a great game. I’ve been an #LAFC supporter from day-one, but never made it to a game. Watching the guys take it out on Miami was delicious. Getting to do that with amazing friends, surrounded by tens of thousands of fans was amazing.

it's like someone tried to explain the madonna-whore complex to him, and he was like "oh wait yeah, that's my foundational belief"

Okay, somebody needs to account for the excessive focus on feet in Starfleet Acadmey. What the fuck is going on?

Almost forgot I was hot.

Setting aside all the underlying issues with the culture I was raised in, I was at least taught that it was weird loser shit to hate women and poor people. Apparently a lot of people never got the message.

idk how to rebuild society for this but i don't think people should be allowed to talk like this without it going very poorly for them

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

it drives you insane how much erosion of freedom is justified by concern for kids when the people who actually hurt them will never face consequences