Belovèd is away for the weekend so I have the whole bed to myself. It sucks.

NUTFLEX

finally found something to make me laugh and it's this I've watched this like 30 times in a row

chatbots seem built for dudes who think the stripper actually likes them

I love when characters in film see a Beast and go 'run!' No. Exceptionally bad idea. Anything that is a threat to you is in part a threat because you cannot, under any circumstances, outrun it.

Eight hours for work, eight hours for rest, and eight hours for what we will post

Put on LA BREA to have some background noise and man, this is some STRAINED ASS acting. Even for a network show!

Measured my biceps today and they're okay. Grew a bit after a few months of bench hypertrophy, but not as much as I would have liked. I think after I max out the chest fly I'm gonna switch my accessory lift to bicep curls.

I desperately need to be there.

probably the one with the runes

I'd probably get arrested for calling him 'Chuck Windsor' to his face.

There was that guy like 'banning anyone with a "Nazi phase" would remove 90% of American men from politics' and, like, show me why that's a bad thing?

these boners made for walkin' (what?) and that's just what they'll do (wait how) one of these days these boners gonna walk all over you (no, for real)

🎼🎵Birds do it 🎶Bees do it 🎶Even educated fleas do it 🎶Let’s do it 🎶Let’s shit outdoors

My ankle mobility is so bad that my calves feel tight after walking for ten minutes.

I forgot I had margarita salt in my water bottle, took a slug, and was like WOOOOOOOO

If I don't drain my 32 fl. oz. Nalgene bottle at least four times every single day I will die.

The best ice cream in the city is a short, four-block walk and it's lovely outside. I might actually try to schlep over there.

🎶 Birds do it, bees do it Even educated fleas do it Let's do it Let's kill a guy

Huh, is he letting that fish go or....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Naked? Nay, kid.

And people think peaceful protesting of rich assholes is useful.

The rich people of today only have two ideas: 1. Let’s kill everyone 2. I need a bunker so after we kill everyone I can emerge from underground, spread my wings like a peacock, and continue to be rich

There are a lot of things I could blame for my bench being so goddamned hard today, but the ultimate truth is probably just that I've been doing hypertrophy for months and haven't done a Strength Lift since December.

I'll take two.

Guy at Ye Ironworks is wearing a shirt writ large with PATRIOT and I find myself thinking about how that's one of those right-wing words that means two different things depending whether you're a chud or not.

I really want people to get their shit together re: alt text, because the sheer number of posts I can't like or repost is very high.

Bigots won't hear you body-shaming them, but your bald & ugly friends like ol' Crowbirb here sure will.

currently in mourning for the tattoos i didn't get

Hey, WoW friends: is 2100 PvP rating difficult to obtain? Is it a skill thing or do I just need to do enough PvP? Asking for a weapon transmog. 😭

Belovèd's birthday approaches, which means I have to get my ass in gear and bake a cake I only do once annually. I should probably make it more often; get some practice in.

When I'm in charge, I'll make it law that if you use swear words on your sassy baseball hat or greeting card or whatever you can't censor them. Use the word or don't, cowards

Lately I've seen a couple of ornaments (pins, patches, &c.) in the shape of a shield with the trans flag on it. I feel as though I am being sent a Message.

was moved to recreate this absolutely unhinged cd I burned in 8th grade

Last day of Autistic People's Month & I'll just leave you w/ this being Autistic has meant that sometimes I have big feelings when people want me to be small & I'll feel neutral, nothing, numb or confusion when people expect me to feel bigger, or harder, or louder but there's no wrong way to feel

Jeweler's rouge is pretty neat.

Worst part of my tattoo appointment being cancelled? Driving fifty miles in a gasoline car.

Taking your life in your hands driving any more. Everyone drives like their ass is on fire. Zero regard for other drivers and negative for humans like cyclists and pedestrians.

Nap flattened me. Wake the fuck up, birb!

I only have one draft and it's a Starship joke I've been staring at for months and just can't finish.

you are never alone. for instance, there are a lot of ghosts

Currently laying on my back with a tiny, nine-pound dog dead asleep on my chest. I may be all right.

today I may have learned how to spell bourgeoisie

Bandcamp Friday tomorrow. I need to start the process of getting off streaming and switching back to a DAP.

Any hole is a piehole if you're carrying a pie you don't want any more.

Mine's text-based and I've been working on it since 2013.

die of easily preventable illness most likely

Cigarette lighters were invented before disposable matches.