That feeling of 8:47 on a Sunday morning, and the sheets went on clean and crisp Saturday afternoon, the rain is stopping outside, but the light from the window is still gray, the air is cool and the floor will be cold, and you both pretend to be asleep for a bit longer, and no reason not to.

5’7 Not sure.

Post your favorite Star Trek Character. Wrong answers only.

Where was Pennywise, when Bruce Willis led a ragtag crew of deep water drillers on a journey to destroy the asteroid dooming humanity?

I wanted to share probably the most important sermon I’ve given and it’s while I’m being arrested. It’s torture pure and simple what happens at #Broadview. I’m ok, though I was thrown to the ground and choked with my pectoral cross. A review of the video shows I was peaceful - did I deserve this?

I fell asleep and had a dream I was in a deposition and the opposing counsel told me he calls his penis “Mr. Dynamus,” pronounced “dye-NAH-moose.”

@govpritzker.illinois.gov I want you to watch this video of me slammed to the ground- why are you allowing this to happen to people you know are on the right side of history. They tied my hands behind my back and when I asked them to be loosened because I was going numb they said, “STFU.”

As a kid, I had a learning disability with rapidly shifting diagnoses, dysgraphia, and motor issues. The accommodation I needed (apart from OT) was not in learning, but evaluation. (Can we not grade her on homework? Can we not require her to write it all out?). Teachers: But that’s not fair!

Making a pierogi gun to hunt Dershowitz with

"You need a warrant to come in!" "We're just going to talk to someone..." Uh, that's not how the warrant requirement works at all!

I don’t feel good. I need to be better by tomorrow. This will require the two worst things in the world: Rest and hydration.

Established! Come on down to Sugar Rush Market Days tomorrow in Topeka!

This is how I text:

Texts I send my husband:

psst this is a secret we don’t want the media to find out: if we went after white collar criminals with a fraction of the resources we spend locking up minorities from disadvantaged areas, we’d have a lot fewer disadvantaged areas

Lost faith in myself again. (Skipped lunch)

This is how I sext:

Immigration controls are inherently anti-democratic. If you want to live here, it should be legal for you to live here. If you want to work here, it should be legal for you to work here. If you want to be a citizen, you should be able to fill out a form, and be a citizen.

It’s not like Hannibal Lecter was a REAL cannibal. He only ate PARTS of people. It’s not like he was eating ENTIRE people like a real cannibal does. Plus, a lot of those livers could have passed as animal livers. He wasn’t eating obvious people parts like faces. He was into the barely legal meat.

Sweet dreams, bro. Those shits made of this?

I’m sorry I just found out that in 1379, as in, 650 years ago, a baby girl was born in Yorkshire and named Diot Coke history is a fucking joke lmao

Spending some days experiencing Shakira Law

Happy to report that, by ordering Brazilian food and eating it alone in my hotel room, after a long day, I have solved the mystery of whether it is fried yuca I like and plantains I can take or leave, or the other way around.

There aren’t a lot of people of whom I will say, “I hope something bad happens to them.” This guy, though. I do. I hope something bad happens to him.

Two weeks in, my trial selfie tradition has devolved into a post-court, back in hotel comfies, selfie, to tell if it was a good day (flat hair) or bad day (glorious, curly, amazing hair full of body).

Anecdotally, many of the people I have known, who complained about the me-too movement, turned out to be predators. And thus the pattern repeating on a large scale seems to be incredibly unsurprising.

Me as a frontman of a post-hardcore band: No moshing! Be kind to each other! You as an audience member: Dude what the fuck?

Remembering a former Halifax dyer Simeon Wigglesworth, who died on this day in 1875 at the age of 74. He was interred with his wife Hannah (née Maud), who predeceased him in 1870.

"This woke Me-Too bullshit has gone too far," said the former Harvard President and Secretary of the U.S. Treasury to the billionaire pedophile sex trafficker in a private email that the Justice Department under both parties kept secret for years

Do not admit to LEO that you took anything to cause an abortion. You do not have to admit anything to them. No one is going to bat a lash if you say you had a miscarriage. They happen all the time.

If you are an airline and make me have to click on every goddamned flight to figure out when it departs and arrives, I hate you. When and how much are the two pieces of information that I want. Anyone would want. If you make this a mystery, please fuck off.

You’re telling me.

In vaguely reverse chronological order: Cross examination. Deep frying. Sex, eventually. Taxes. Operating a centrifugal casting machine.

Me, yesterday: Maybe I am a bad lawyer. Why am I so fat, intolerably ugly, and my clothes are worse. Why does everything hurt. Why do I have a blemish at my age. The only good things that have ever been invented are churros, and chips, and only sometimes. Humanity should be- Me, today: oh.

Everyone is dunking on Kim Kardashian. The truth is the California bar is notoriously hard, the pass rate was only 55%, the pass rate for people who didn‘t go to an accredited law school is way lower, and lots of very smart and dedicated people don’t pass the first time and become good lawyers.

Thanks very much to everyone who responded and talked to my reporter yesterday. Here's how that turned out: www.cbsnews.com/pittsburgh/n...

#lawsky does anyone know if there’s ever been research done or a review article published on whether female judges are more likely than male judges to be accused of bias, in, say, a motion for new trial, based on things like facial expression or tone?

Me putting on my suit for trial:

A friend complained that men on dating sites are using ChatGPT to message and are sloppy about deleting prompts. I had two thoughts: 1. What is he going to do when he’s on a real date? 2. This is like the worst remake of Cyrano de Bergerac ever.

SEXT (sugar, grow old with me, the best is yet to be)(also… your ass could raise the dead, sugar)

Not sure how you all are sleeping on this, my greatest artistic achievement in several weeks.

Concerning today: Agggggghhhhhhhhhhh

Hi writers! I’m looking to assign a couple of features for Slate before the end of the year. If you have anything in mind that you think would be a fit please send me a pitch! Jenée.Desmond- [email protected] or dm me. RTs are appreciated so this can reach more people. Thanks!

Hey Pennsylvania voters (and Pittsburghers): did you try and contact Senator Fetterman's office yesterday only to find out you couldn't leave a voicemail? I'm interested in talking to his constituents for the news today.

Never fails. Something will always go to shit when you are trapped in a courtroom doing something else.

Mamdani is gonna implement Cheria law. The state now believes in life after love.

Millions of Democratic voters on Tuesday: Fight these guys. Fight them. Senate Democrats: We heard you loud and clear and we will give in

Ow.