Repost for Irish Film Classifications by Damien Owens, because it's just come up in FB memories and it's still *brilliant*.

First impressions of Dorset - super-friendly people, even friendlier dogs, breathtaking scenery. I'm in a Barchester-type cottage. Lyme Regis tomorrow. If Ciaran Hinds isn't there, I'll proper kick-off, as Janey A probably wrote.

Dorset. Very beautiful. I'm on the ridgeway now. Bit steep.

Hid a box of chocolates for Christmas yesterday. Opened it today. Tell no-one.

Lovely day at Ushaw College

Robert Redford was a one-of-a-kind towering legend. Actor, director, producer, storyteller, philanthropist. He changed the world with his drive to make it a better, more beautiful & radical place. Too many films to name made impeccable due to his contributions. #RIPRobertRedford

One of the big drawbacks of country life - I've driven 60 miles today for 2 5-minute medical appointments. Without a car, rural life would be impossible.

Dessert mode ACTIVATE: Best pie: Tarte aux Pommes Best ice cream: Pistachio Best donut: Jam Best bar: Millionaire’s Shortbread Best cake: Coffee & Walnut Best other: Trifle

3. Sitting in a bath of baked beans to raise 50 quid for the local school.

Dessert mode ACTIVATE: Best pie: Bakewell Tart Best ice cream: Raspberry Ripple Best donut: ring - hot, straight from the fryer at the shows. Best bar: Ginger flapjack Best cake: Orange and Ground Almond Best other: Apple Crumble.

Note to self - putting the word "adult" in front of a product search never ends well. Oh my eyes.

Terrible news - the last of the allotment neighbour's tomatoes. I'm baking a lemon drizzle cake as a thank you for keeping me supplied all summer.

Drinking a pumpkin spice espresso like I live in a big city. Or Yarm.

Been Christmas shopping. It'll be a while till I get to the "few bits" stage.

Thought my appointment at the spendy dentist was this afternoon. Nope. 12.30. I had to drive through Darlington like the police were after me. I normally go the slow way through the pretty villages. Nobody ever accused Darlo of being pretty.

The Running Fox, Felton. This was the small breakfast. Geordie portions.

Craster looking lovely this morning.

The allotment neighbour's been! I love a glut.

I made this tonight courtesy of a neighbour with a glut of tomatoes. It was delicious. The combination of the bright curry and the sticky rice was just lovely.

Made myself a teabag rest in pottery. It didn't really stretch me creatively but I've got somewhere to park a dead teabag now.

Great Britain is a hijabi stay-at-home mom becoming a national superstar because she bakes traditional British desserts extremely well. Not some fucker who looks like the Mr. Potatohead corporation made a Potato Horse nattering on about England.

Probably shouldn't have put my washing out before I went to work. Pointless getting it in now. We don't both need to be drenched.

Maybe Bluesky should be called Bluesea, cos that's what it's like. You're out sailing on the blue sea and you say your thoughts out loud to the sun and the wind and, every once in a while, a distant person on the horizon waves at you.

My replacement espresso maker came yesterday morning and I won exactly what it cost on the postcode lottery last night. The universe obviously prefers me caffeinated.

I gave in and watched Thursday Murder Club. It was alright if you like Midsomer Murders (I do) but I thought The Marlow Murder Club was far better.

Thursday Murder Club. Cast Level: Shakespearean epic Murder Mystery Level: A bad episode of Midsummer Murders Police Procedural Level: Peppa Pig

I love it when I discover a new Cosy Crime writer. Hugh Morrison this time with his sleuthing vicar. He's got a dog and a pipe n'all.

The expensive dentist my real dentist referred me to has just given me an aftercare phone call. That'll be another 50 quid on the bill. I can understand why my gran's generation all had theirs out as a 21st birthday present. (Maybe only pit villages)

Listen if you have tiny kids I'm here to tell you you have *no idea* how many work/social days will be lost to chickenpox in the coming years if you don't get this jab. How many days you will pay for but not use at nursery. Get the jab.

Got mine. Get them every year. The cards are lovely.

Giant homemade custard creams via the Tesco recipe. That and 2 giant fruitcakes is me done baking for a bit. (Yes I know they're circles, Prue. They're easier to cut out.)

I'm making 2 fruit cakes to use up all the dried fruit before the Christmas baking season starts. So really, it's already started.

Nuns and priests to stay in Gaza despite evacuation orders

Bill Bailey at Stockton Globe tonight. Brought my bairn. We're both huge fans.

I've finally seen The Ballad of Wallis Island. It's as lovely as everyone said. Beautifully written and acted bittersweet film. I've bought it from Sky so I'll definitely watch it again. Makes a change to watch a film about genuinely nice people.

I wish I'd invented the Oodie. Every happy camper galumping to the campsite showers has one. (Mine's space-themed).

The Gormley statues on Crosby beach add a certain M.R. James quality to sandcastle building.

Beningbrough Hall. Finally got around to joining the @nationaltrust.org.uk. I think it was the raspberry and rhubarb ice cream that made me do it.

Woman make fire

Gorgeous pizzas from a little van called Clean Crust. York area. Delicious.

3 cousins on the campsite are playing cricket. They're playing by the rules until the littlest one says it's not fair and then they give in. Littlest one is currently about 3 - 250.

Awful appointment at the very posh dentist this morning. Well they weren't awful bit the news was. 2 of my implants have failed and have to be replaced at huge cost. Though on the plus side they're grafting on some moo-cow bone so I should get longer eyelashes.

Right. I don't like to ask. But, frankly, it would be handy if someone bought a painting. Here are four, all 7 x 5 inches, £40 each including P&P, titles in the alt text. Let me know if any take your interest :)

I've been to Darlington Hippodrome to see The Haunting of Blaine Manor. Really enjoyed it. Not as scary as I expected and more fun. Very much in the style of 70s Amicus films.

Highlight of my Facebook today - one of my ex-pupils had a baby at 15 and has just passed all her GCSEs at 16. I could barely remember my name for the first year post-pregnancy. What an achievement.

Wheeeen theee Bird in your room represents all your gloom Nevermoré When you're trying to grieve but that corvid won't leave Nevermoré It will rap Tippy tippy tap Tippy tippy tap Waking you from naps aaand Your dream-a Then will fly Never tell you why Even if you cry Landing on your sideboard Athena

So I'm sitting on my own settee, watching Midsomer Murders and minding my own business, when a bloody great wasp attaches itself to my foot and stings me a million times. It hurts.

What GIF pops up when you type your name?