Reported a minor water leak on the road right outside my house yesterday morning. Someone from Northumbrian Water eventually rocked up at some point late afternoon and sprayed a bit of paint and fucked off. This was the same leak this morning (filmed by my neighbour) and I had no fucking water.

Made a curry because of course, what else do you need in a heatwave. Modified a Meera Sodha recipe to make a sweet potato, cavolo…cavalo…cavolero…black kale and chickpea curry that is incredible

Did he just knee Jude in the Bellinghams?

Took my youngest to see MCR at Wembley and bloody hell it was fucking great

That was boring as shit

Getting the train tomorrow, but it’s from Darlington so the start of the journey will at least start with cold winds blasted straight from the arctic

Neighbour just mowed his already buzz cut lawn for the second time this week. I haven’t mown mine since last year. This is absolutely not a euphemism ffs

London tomorrow and I can’t say I’m thrilled about it. Just insert the northern soaps ‘LUNDUN?????!!!!’ gif in your mind

🇧🇷 Zico was the favourite player for my brother and I growing up

Go on, cry you spoiled little arse

Fucking FINALLY

Fucking hell. VAMOS Spain

Danny Murphy wishing he’d never mentioned Bob the cat

I listened to the match on 5Live and intermittently dozed, I completely missed Jordan Henderson’s ‘heroics’ ffs and Harry Kane’s incredible spotty teen voice. Watched the highlights and bloody hell we were alright

Son started work at a well-known evil supplier of all things named after a river yesterday

How many other days are we going to have for all these other stories around Danny Murphy

This lad would definitely climb into a Royal Mail van and go on an adventure (currently on 2 weeks missing, he’ll turn up in the next week or so with much to say, demanding cuddles, sleep for a fortnight and bugger off again)

As someone who has a cat who likes to wander off for weeks at a time I was happy to hear that Bob came back 😭

Hurrumph

How do they choose who gets to have a little lay down behind the wall?

Ewwww John Terry

Lol shearer is FUMMIN

My eldest took on my mum’s cats when she died and this is the 15 year old orange boy after having a lump removed. I love him (apparently he’s really pissed off at being made to look so cute)

My only meal today has been a massive slab of the Rocky Road I made yesterday. It has cranberries in it so it must be quite healthy

I hope you’ve been joining in with the Norway fans’ rowing @sarahvanpelt.bsky.social, knowing your love for the Mexican wave

Sat through almost the entire match. Missed the fucking goal

Helped my eldest lad move some stuff into his new place today and it’s so nice to see him moving into a bloody lovely flat in a better area than he was in. I have found the closest M&S foodhall for him #priorities

My younger brother lives in Canada, has a beautiful Canadian wife and child so I am obviously part Canadian 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦

2 beers and a corned beef and mustard roll. I’m being supes British today

London people! What’s the journey Kings Cross to Euston like at, say, 3 or 4pm on a Thursday? Hellish? I know Euston is actual arse of the world so I’m expecting a horror show there but wondering if the tube will be super packed? MCR at Wembley if anyone is interested in why the fuck I’d be there

I was supposed to be going to Spain tomorrow, originally with my daughter, who lost her passport, so then it was just going to be me and then my poor youngest had to have some gruesome dental work today and I ain’t leaving him alone the poor lad. Oh well. I’ve ordered a skip instead

That’s was a beautiful goal

Fucking hell I actually hate Ronaldo’s tiny face

Just caught up on the Argentina game. Bloody hell Messi. Man is about to turn 39. My youngest is obsessed with Argentina in every way and loooved Messi

I’m flying to Spain on Wednesday so I am watching their match today and drinking Estrella Galicia to get into the spirit.

Sunnycon tomorrow with my lads. I have bought portable fans this year to try and escape the heat and reek of Pokemon card collectors (said as someone with a Pokemon tattoo on her wrist)

Also, M&S at Leeds White Rose is bloody mint

Had a tea that involved a 5 year aged cheddar, a phenomenal Roquefort and my own pickled pink onions and I now probably have gout

My daughter is up for the night, out in a nearby market town for a friend’s birthday and messaged me to say she was thinking of going into town for ‘afters’. I reminded her that Boro will be wall to wall beered up lads

My lovely son in law has just texted to say that Modric has been playing football longer than he (SIL) has been alive

Wasn’t going to watch the football but happened to switch it on and first thing I saw was an England flag with ‘MIDDLESBROUGH’ on it in a prominent posish so here I am

My eldest has sent over all the photos and videos he took at the safari park and all the videos feature the 4 of us just yapping absolute bollocks and it’s quite sobering to realise what we must sound like to others. Just utter twaddle

Been away for a stay at a safari park with all my kids and it’s been the best time I’ve had in ages. Also, we all watched Catchphrase, which is just a shit as I remember #saywhatyousee

For anyone with a transgender teen who is affected by the NHS withdrawing treatment, we switched from GenderGP (who are dreadful) to Anne Health and they are amazing. Yes, you have to pay; worth every penny

Bought my son a record player (do we still call them record players? I don’t fucking know) for his birthday and we went to a proper second hand record shop today and he had a ball. Perusing vinyl seems ideally suited to his autism and it made me incredibly nostalgic for bits of my youth 👵🏻

I’m doing some washing for my daughter and son in law for reasons and you would not believe how many different York City FC shirts there are <stares at multitudes>

My youngest, my precious last-born child, my tiny baby, is 17 tomorrow and I am refusing to believe it. I’ve made him Rocky Road and he’s going for sushi with me and his big brother tomorrow, prior to his English GCSE at 9am on Friday <evil laugh>

Ah fuck

Yes, of course I’ll be listening to Boro v Hull this afternoon as a complete glory chasing fan who hasn’t watched a match all season. Up the bastard Boro

I’ve been ill for a while and I’ve now lost my voice and need to clear my throat a million times a day. I actually hate myself. Like ‘hruuurrrrr hrrrrem hrrrrrem hrrrrruhhhh’