I really don't enjoy driving in Leeds.

Someone just called the reflecting pool the "strait of warm ooze" and now my friends, I am dead.

First baby Harbour Seal of the season has been named 'Ezra' if anyone was wondering.

Photoshoot in Cambridge on Thursday has moved back by a couple of weeks because of the heat. Saves me traversing the M25/M11 on what may be the hottest day of the year so i'll take it.

I kind of wish I was there to see it, to be honest. Somerset getting more lightning in the last hour than they have in the last few years.

Looks like Mordor, but is actually West Sussex

And you maye aske yourselfe "Why ys thys bow made of burninge golde?" And you maye aske yourselfe "Wher are my arrowes of desyre?" And you maye telle yourselfe "These are not my spear and unfoldinge cloudes" And you maye telle yourselfe "Thys ys not my chariot of fyre"

Is it just my friend group or do a surprising number of messages get replied to between 3 and 4am, even though the vast majority of responders work regular daylight hours?

People who know Portsmouth - the car ferry has just gone past the harbour opening and no car alarms are going off. WTF timeline are we living here?

The thing where you realise that you walked out of a cafe earlier without paying and it's the one nearest your house.

Anyone who does that fake throwing a ball for their dog thing... well done, you outsmarted a dog. A dog that loves you and really, really wanted you to throw a ball for them. You should be on some kind of register.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but Cornettos have shrunk since I last had one.

There is a bridge over to the island I live on, two people have tried jumping off it today, one came particularly well prepared. Neither succeeded. Mental health is no joke.

I'm going on my own. Why does it suggest a seat next to someone?

For any Brit watching the international cycling event in Flanders this morning, yes the sport is good but HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SMOOTH THE ROADS ARE? Extremely satisfying to see, never mind the bikes.

Meanwhile in local news, a swan is presently occupying a roundabout and is refusing to move.

I just fell down a John Foxx rabbit hole. I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere.

Really wishing that I could un-know and then forget something. Usually I need the exact opposite.

A passing thought towards how Mayo might be feeling today.

Headline writers crossing all their fingers that whatever Scott Mills did it was dark and satanic

Peter Gabriel, Joan Armatrading along with Huey Lewis and the News today btw. I had an unexpected change of plan for today and the nostalgic familiarity of these artists have helped a surprising amount.

Always poignant also when families ask for my photos of loved ones who have died, especially when it comes with a 'it was always their favourite photo of themselves, we just never got round to printing it' chaser.

Someone just sent me a picture of one of their wedding photos I shot a few years ago blown up to big wall size and I'm not ashamed to say I burst into tears. Life is a bit of a slog right now and seeing how much my art matters really means a lot.

is someone leaning on the Turmoil button

Today is a revisiting old playlists from a recently rediscovered ipod day. 'Steel Bars' by Michael Bolton followed by 'Hungry Eyes' by Eric Carmen. Having listened to Radio 1 this week following Greg James' heroics, this is quite the trip.

This is rather lovely www.bbc.co.uk/culture/arti...

😍

It seems the Portsmouth to Isle of Wight ferry has had a bit of a 'parking incident' as it came into dock 👀

When did Mini Eggs get so expensive?

For those looking for an excellent plate of food near Basingstoke, I heartily recommend going for Thai food at The Four Horseshoes in Sherfield on Loddon. Local beamed community pub with an amazing menu.

Just back from an eye test. My eyes are better than they were before lockdown. Howwwww does that happen?

Open to being told that I need to learn my own language here, but the 'hundreds of fewer beds' is itching my brain and doesn't feel right?

** British pair about to skate on the iPlayer klaxon **

Lots of lovely Figure Skating going on in Sheffield for those of a winter sport persuasion. Winter Olympics next month is raising interest, as is, er, some Canadian TV show.

Survival of the nicest would be a good rule.

No person thou hast loved ys evir trulye lost as long as thou love them still. No place that ys gone ys evir trulye gone as long as thou hast it yn thyne herte. These are the maner of thinges Ich ponder when Dante doth dryve too faste yn the rented Hyundai Ioniq. He hath just put on "Two Princes."

At this point my body viscerally rejects being anywhere near anyone who doesn’t care what’s going on in the world

Mayfair yesterday, Southampton today. Guess where I heard 'Costa' being pronounced 'coaster'.

Here's to absent friends (I'm here on my own tonight so you all are), but special mention to the man in Krakow I spoke to for work earlier who after a pause told me 'you said that really nicely'. Not sure why it struck me quite so hard but it was a lovely compliment and I'm still smiling.

One too many drunk texts received already.

Now with alt image description:

I've been away working in a non-tinselly environment over Christmas so walking back into my lounge and it being very Christmassy but already feeling outdated is quite the trip.

I found this unexpectedly funny 🙈

This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)

So true, also an excellent after dinner game to think of more (then make sure via Google that they aren't real - you'd be surprised). Suggest Trefuckery, Trenighy and Trewerthersoriginal as starters.

I'm going to do it! And I'm going to skeet them as I close them, so you can enjoy the random stuff that's clogged everything up too.

Happy Christmas all, Shaun the Sheep along with Wallace and Gromit are available all over the iPlayer if you get stuck and need reassuring it will somehow all be ok x

Chris Rea a couple of days before Christmas was a low blow, even for the Reaper :(