im back in portland!!! :D

me: time to fly back home. this will be difficult and stressful my body: sorry to hear that. i am going to start bleeding a lot for no reason me: thanks

reusable frogs

sometimes i feel scared for no particular reason because being alive is scary

haha yeah that bluesky discourse sounds really interesting! thanks for sharing. btw the scientists are letting me out of my cell to spend 10 minutes with the mysterious artifact tomorrow so they can run more tests

hey buddy so actually this IS an airport and you DID need to announce your departure!!! i have a number for you to call here,

drinking evil juice

the bee movie laws of aviation line is always funny to me because bees are notably not aircraft

you'll just have to kiss dr. freeman AFTER the test!

fuck nerve pain!!! stop it

they're doing this to me tomorrow

my leg just twitched like a frog what the fuck

40.

it's so hard being a perfect angel and the worst person to ever exist but someone's gotta do it

Big Gary

seeing a lot of takes on here and i dont like it

I come home to my perfectly spherical wife. she does not greet me because her firmware is updating. we are happy.

my neighbor zotero

← she purchased one (1) music for bugs casette tape (the cd was sold out already)

music for bugs physical release??? life is beautiful

i refuse to grow up. fuck this stupid planet and fuck time. i will be a thirty year old high schooler again even if it kills me

all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray

new word learned!!! anemoia

random guy from fuck knows where that just slid into ur dms: california sucks now btw. ur living in a hellscape. because of woke

crazy how much dna everyone leaves everywhere. like we just assume that no one will clone us based on the honor principle or whatever

Bad News for Fascism Fans: Anya Forger From Spy x Family Says Disappearing People Is Not Waku Waku!

"Discord's Upcoming Features Are Actually Insane" what did they make it good or something

me at the whimsical potions shoppe

ℹ️ uh oh

my signature strategy named "just don't fuck up" has been having problems lately

you say too late to start with your heart in a heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadlock

This map is highly misleading. In the American electoral system, votes don't influence policy.

dominos app please stop sending me notifications i want u so bad

unlimited blade wokes

tried to say "your right to swing your fist ends where my face begins" and accidentally said "your rights end where my fist begins" instead which sends a completely different message

urge to ask the maintenance guy if he can blast me full force with the leafblower just so I can feel something

getting my penis snapped in half trying to fuck a robot girls armpit

dude go away im busy. go stir the O2 tanks or something idc

do u think the clitoris was invented or discovered

le wokisme

theyre beating ur ass in the 0-60 Hz range

need to remember to not joke in other ppl's replies when i don't know them as well eep

my fingers hurt i want to kill every body

well teen vogue was really good and we cant be doing that. everything needs to be shit all the time

"tits or ass" idk what those are. i have literally never heard of those before. are you sure

Asking my boss if he’s seen any new webinars drop

wtf dude. not cool