my grandma thinks im beautiful we are going to be ok i think

Two types of people...

the days are not getting any easier

lets all play subnau2ca together

What are you? Nothing. Why are you here? You do not know.

💕🛜

this is maybe weird to say but i miss the twin towers. not just because of what they represent but because they were really beautiful buildings

showing up asleep at my job tomorrow which isnt illegal yet

me, really scared: can i have the normal blowjob. please

nothing on my computer works rn but killing xwayland helped

throwing up for an amazing reason

police brutality + bruh = Steam

that's tough bro listen at least you have an insane girl who's obsessed with you.

there are so many different ways to be. and i think that's awesome

Are you sure?

I cant be held to what I said under the pledge of allegiance. I was under duress at the time

guys do you frick with me

(reading the news) uhhh guys im starting to think the future isnt female anymore :((

(sounding very badass) hahahaha!!! i've got you now!!! (my giant robot is blown to smithereens by a powerful beam of energy) hhnghhhn… no…

That's a lectern.

Crab Guitar

proper squat form

"have you read the jargon file" no im too hot sorry

(distressing gmod ragdoll noises)

when i was in like 1st grade i would sit in these leaning forward a bit because i was convinced i would grow wings from my shoulder blades if i left enough space for them to grow. fortunately im normal and happy now and spend most of my day using various atlassian products

messaged to join socialist book club before remembering my username.

guy who just won the nobel prize for math: hey what's up it's me i just won the nobel prize for math btw

does anyone have any information

this game is very fun!! i have been interior decorating for about 8 hours now

sorry for throwing up on your carpet it's because i ate a bunch of your hair. i am going to headbutt you repeatedly now because i love you btw

guys i cant houp out the bed

never ever open the discord help center when i accidentally press f1. stop that. i already know how to use discord. i was born on discord

having a wife is an elaborate scheme to start a two-person book club

I've decided to marry a rich baroness

"welcome to being a woman haha" fym welcome i live here dumbass im not visiting

guys my aplejuice

happy subnau2ca day 2 all my aquatic oomfs

it's not appropriate to talk to me under any circumstances

Asked the guy at the gate “we doing shoes on or off today?” And if he had a service revolver I think he would’ve used it on me

🐸