we're back from suspension for tonight's action lol

this one was a real Douzi

Hat Day Hatty for Hannes #nycfc

Tem um bot no bluesky que avisa sobre TODOS OS CARTÕES VERMELHOS DO FUTEBOL MUNDIAL (recomendo inclusive) bsky.app/profile/haha...

with Nashville coming back to equalise, you could say this one had uh... Hefti consequences for DC United

when I'm hungry sometimes I'll Itabirito

nooo that's the logo a school district serving 5 unified exurbs

football's cumming home

i set up @usopencup.goalbot.dev last night and all i got was some pornbots using AI to reply with detailed and soulless prose about the night's action. all their bios say they "don't do replies" yet here are three different lil pandas absolutely juiced up about the US Open Cup

three goals from three different guys who play center back for #nycfc, a hat trick of assists for maxi!

i love it when a plan comes together

finally got @usopencup.goalbot.dev spun up just in time for this installment of hudson river cup derby

[from the cuck chair]: love that for you!

but then my partner called to say the pension funds were gone he made some bad investments now the accounts are overdrawn i take

the emperor is now wearing 600% less clothing

the Buffalo Boubas vs the Connecticut Kikis

Jane Bouba vs John Kiki

there's something very potemkin village about the way sports leagues and teams just post on twitter like it's still 2014. yes i'm talking about the nfl draft rn

here with live uh, coverage of the match

is for urder

i love her

this is v. sad news

this is just "actually star wars has never made money" but for guys who sell beers for $21 a can

lol this is funny to me because camavinga getting sent off in the UCL was one of the test data cases for @haha.yes.goalbot.dev

had to really invent the universe to make an apple pie here

oh no, i actually cackled and yelled out YES at this one

we both look at the word 'demouser' you see 'demo user' i see 'de-mouser' we are not the same i am a cat

elite post

@gretchenmcculloch.com would it be fair to call this a garden path headline? The beginning of it really threw me off

@sickosfc.bsky.social Mr. Red himself making an appearance

found your favorite soccer team

what a beautiful spring day it is finally

@acnewman.bsky.social there's a particular glory to the first time one gets to hear the last track on a new new pornos record for the first time. 50% of the way through 'the former site' of and i knew it was happening

RED CARD BOT PROVIDES

teacher: what does “agnostic” mean? me: I don’t know teacher: correct! how about “ambivalent”? me: *shrug* teacher: yes! how about “nihilistic”? me: what difference does any of this make? teacher: amazing

in the stripped club. straight up 'jorking it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. My P3NY5

I only freak when froken to.

another scintillating FK from NICO!!!!

gooning to yassified jokers in balatro and other phrases that will keep me out of heaven

as a crossover theatre and football nerd, i'm more used to seeing marius put in a shift for a plucky band of student rebels, ultimately scoring with cosette

just one more imperial war bro. just one more imperial war i swear. One more imperial war will fix it and display our inherent superiority over lesser peoples once and for all bsky.app/profile/mfor...

the headline wrote itself

this oxygen-breathing leftist sleeps daily and eats meals!!!!

last time i was at SXSW there were dueling parties between Foursquare and Gowalla lol

as per your previous e-mail,

triangles are so important in football

GOAL! 22' — @newyorkcityfc.com. @newyorkcityfc.com 1–0 @orlandocitysc.com. Major League Soccer #nycfc #mls #MLS

she just literally said "since i've been homeland security secretary" lol