I’m addicted to this hot honey hummus

It’s so ridiculous how much like playing pickleball as a social sport. I talk too much though and I’ve noticed as I get older I’m more talkative and positive and like what’s happened to me?

Vanilla yogurt is a dessert food

All my winter friends are delightfully 20+ yrs older and are talking about the joy of drinking buzzballs.

Honestly this is fucking hilarious if you can just detach from the fact it’s real life. What am I missing where so many people are kissing this man’s ass constantly

Who knew my hip flexors would be my nemesis in my late 40s. No, don’t say it. I know it’s tempting, don’t do it.

Not only did my dog get sick on my arm last night(and on the blanket) I blew the fuse for the coffee maker. Are we sure it’s Friday?

It was a nice moon this evening

Looks like we’re going the long way around

Why call it sending noods when you could call it carb loading (this is dumb but I don’t have a drafts folder)

RFK Jr: "Two weeks ago we ended, under your leadership, a twenty year war on women". Three out of five men in this shot have been accused of sexual misconduct, harassment or abusive behaviour towards women. A fourth signed into law a near-total abortion ban in his state as governor.

I will not cheat on my diet. I will not cheat on my diet. I will not cheat on my diet. I will not cheat on my diet. I will not cheat on my diet.

You can take the girl out of the rink but not the rink out of the girl.

I put sunscreen on today and all the snow pictures in KC make me sad for you all

You are infinitely closer to struggling than you ever will be to billionaires

I’m one of those classy types that drinks wine while putting together an ebike

Anyone want some chicken right off the grill and seasoned to perfection?

"Missouri Bootleg Potion Sells For $3.25 Plus Sugar" November 29, 1943 #History #OTD #Moonshine #Missouri

Guy goes to a fish market, rescues an octopus, then teaches it to play the piano 🤯 they are both so smart 🤩🥰 🐙 🎹 🎥 Mattias Krantz

Y’all gotta use your free will more. Do some side quests in real life. Just do what the fuck you want essentially

Nothing says Christmas like property tax bills due 5 days before Santa’s visit.

Of course I ate pie for breakfast (adjusts rest of the days macros to fit😭)

Need someone to carry me to bed and tuck me in

The tryptophan is hitting

The good news is they play on Christmas Day too so you can ruin your whole holiday season if you want

Renée Elise Goldsberry is so versatile nailed the anthem and also this…

Anyway, look at my Christmas palm. 🌴🎄

I know pie is always a big Thanksgiving tradition but let’s give the flaming turd cake its moment 🙏

Meet me at the Plaza Lighting Ceremony for a kiss right on the lips

Romo…that Just For Men isn’t working for you bud

I don’t have enough pots and pans to cook a Thanksgiving meal in this trailer but I’m gonna MacGyver the fuck out of a Thanksgiving meal anyway

Shit is awful, don’t come at me

Buying stocking stuffers for my enemies

Sigh…

Remember to drizzle a little maple syrup across your whipped cream on top of that slice of pumpkin pie this year. Elevate it to gourmet status. 🤌

One thing about me is that if I go to a “farm store” I will never pass up buying one of these even if I end up slowly eating one lone delicious cup a week

Maybe we should just kiss about it?

A bottle of Malbec for dinner? Sounds fantastic

Starting a 4 month cut on Monday. I'd appreciate all your thoughts and prayers over the holidays.

The window is dirty but the view from my bed does not suck this morning

You, me, one spoon and that container of chocolate peanut butter ice cream?

The sun is out and the fronds of the palms are gently blowing in the wind. I'm going to take a nap and you should join me

The left has a problem with political violence. Anyway, here’s the President of the United States saying his political opponents should be executed.

I tried to tip the nice guy that bagged my groceries because he ran out into the parking lot with something I forgot/didn’t get put in my cart like 5min after I checked out but they get in trouble if they take cash so he asked if I wouldn’t mind buying him a small iced tea from Starbucks instead.🥹

Good morning! It rained but now there’s a beautiful rainbow

The older I get, the earlier I want to go to bed. Nothing in this world a comfy blanket and a snuggly pillow can’t solve

Good morning lovelies 🥰

🎶So I'll say, "Why don't you and I Get together and take On the world and be together forever? Heads we will, tails we'll try again"🎶 It might be the Canadian in me but give me some Chad Kroeger. Love me some small town Alberta peeps that make it big.

This afternoon/evening view