there is nothing on this earth the timberwolves love more than making easy tap-it-in games grueling nailbiters lmao

I continue to be hounded by baffling easy-listening covers of steely dan and soft cell in various Asian restaurants

while a fiery political slogan, our fact checkers confirm that this machine did not, in fact, "kill fascists". A sticker that said "this machine plays music" would have been far more accurate, in the opinion of one writer.

Remember when Austin reeves was talked.about as the best third option in the league. Where has that guy been.

The Cleveland Calves

The 'fantasia bathroom stall' bit in this is the hardest I've laughed in a while

The Minnesota Timberwolves play 'basketball' tonight and I cannot watch. Historically this has meant they win by 40 or have 20 turnovers in the first quarter.

Oh baby the blues are calling. It's coming from inside the house.

This was made in a facility that also processes lead shavings, micro plastics, and toxic glowing sludge.

FACT CHECK: the minnesota timberwolves do, in fact, have jaden mcdaniels

awoo 53

What on earth is happening to the hawks, man

Donte out, Ant out, seasons probably cooked, now it’s just a matter of how many teams seasons we can ruin on our march to oblivion

Imp King, 20 years ago: When you are in dire need, simply rub this charm and we will be there. Me, now, rubbing the charm as torture demons close in: (A blue portal appears from which the Imp King and his entourage emerge carrying folding chairs and sacks of popcorn.)

🛹⬆️🦀RUDE TALES OF MAGIC🦀⬆️🛹 Blue Kindness High Episode 4: Something Amazing art19.com/shows/rude-t...

nobody ever says that the winning team "has a lot of heart"

so what we drink poop so what we smoke pee

A verification code has been inserted into one of your childhood memories. Once you've reminisced, enter it here:

Gonna jailbreak my switch so I can play RuneScape during conversations with peopel

“The name’s Dance. Tom Dance. Kiss me.”

Many people in the first trump admin were basically Mark from ugly betty

Chopped unc shocks aesthetician by ordering in perfect The Beautiful Tongue

Gf asked "how many cherries can you give me before you have to charge" and the nice bartender went out to the van to grab the cherries :)

The most bad-ass rebuttal from Tite Kubo, the author of Bleach.

📱🥤🛹 RUDE TALES OF MAGIC🛹🥤📱 Blue Kindness High Episode 3: Text Education art19.com/shows/rude-t...

always crazy how every few months me and everyone i know get together and agree that our money buys less stuff and its harder to buy things and pay rent and be a person, only to learn that actually we have more money! and prices aren't outstripping wages! yahoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its like the story of the turtle dove and the hare dove

Bankers can't be choosers

As a prank we should have made the world unrecognizable while the artemis crew was away

properly signaling before i flip my car

Not my circus, not my cision

Re listening to the @rudetales.bsky.social Easter episode is all worth it for the story of Tim's fingers who went to heaven

Maybe it would help if I got clockwork oranged

Folks, I give you the New York Times

Charlie Browns mom: Waaah wah wah wah waaah waaah waaah wah Charlie Brown: oh, you mean pigpen Charlie browns mom: Wah way. Waaaah wahwahwah wah wah waaah waaaah wahwhawah wah wah Charlie Brown: yeah I get that. It’s pretty bad over there but I don’t think they hit him

Looove going to a new spot and seeing a long time friend dancing with the woman who assaulted me

Bro last night held a mirror up to society at large

Can't be good for me to wish death on this many people

Hitting customers with the poe face when they say the hot coffee melted their plastic water cup

awoo 46

Minnesota Timberwolves for president

Pissing on mic as the new male bonding ritual

*keelhauls ye*

*harpoons ye*