whales love to say fucked up shit like "i'm gonna krill myself"

Art by • Nobuteru Yūki

mountain posting will continue until morale improves

there was a period of my life where my desk had 3d4 unique beverages on it at any given time.... despite this, i was the least well hydrated(a.k.a DRIEST) of my entire life

orcs who have sex with orcs

little known constitutional law fact. if you have a penis exactly of Size 1776mm. every dhs employee is required to throat it upon request

let he who has not crashed out cast the first own

Cultist clears up a surprisingly common misconception.

i'm trying

following the announcement of bluey catan, I'd like to express my deepest condolences to polycules across Seattle, your age regressor girlfriend is about to ruin board games night forever

This is genuinely what a large contigent of players want and they are essentially Bugs to me

modded daggerfall is the real modded Skyrim

I INSTALLED “LINUX”. BECAUSE WINDOWS IS FOR MEN WHO ASK PERMISSION TO EXIST. I CRUSHED THE INSTALLER WITH MY BARE HANDS AND NOW THE TERMINAL CALLS ME “SIR” BUT MY KERNEL KEEPS PANICKING. WHAT COMMAND MAKES THE COMPUTER SUBMIT COMPLETELY? I REFUSE TO GOOGLE

i have seen more james bond movies than non-james bond movies. i do not give a gophers sloppy ass fuck who the next guy is

some men will really say shit like "i may be bad at sex but i'm also emotionally, Fucked Up To". they don't say that? well they should bro

Ladies and gentlemen! Lift. Your. Cameras! The first new Amtrak Cascades trainset arrives in Seattle tomorrow at 11:29 am! It will be coming south from Everett attached to the Empire Builder. Track Train #7 at asm.transitdocs.com for precise times. You can share pics/video here! #wsdot #trains #PNW

If Its Called Poland Spring Why Can't I Get That Stuff In Warsaw. Seems Fucked Up To Me!

i'm out here assuming that i'm a perfectly spherical mass of iron with radius R unaffected by air resistance and friction. i'm rolling down various slopes of length L at angle A°. ask me about my gravitational potential energy fool

yes, i am a breeding fetishist. no, doctor oz and this vile administration do not speak for me, nor any of my "baby mother's"

in about five years adults are gonna be saying some stuff like. when you heard captain Underpants hit that tra-la-laaaaa. you KNEW that some real Shit was about to go down,

unlike some of you im looking for mother's id like to Love

waiter, there's fent in my soup

Frogger is the first Animal Crossing game

Trolli Sour Brite Pussy

what if shes not my pika girl, in the poke world, after all? 🙁

me: just heard that they're using ai to turn forests and oceans into entirely new categories of war crimes now. what is to be done? this whole country is full of guns but none of us can aim for shit my friend who has been in a coma since 2010: the boat engine make NOISE motherfucker

Deedlit concept art from Record of Lodoss War by Nobuteru Yūki

it's rare to hear about frontshots these days

my partner just said white women are the white men of women

todd Howard will have to rerelease Skyman after this to ensure it remains the most Released game of all time. no one can even be allowed to approach the throne

thanks to generative AI, we have badly automated the part of software development that is fun (solving puzzles) so we have more time for the parts that make me want to do it for real (going to meetings, office politics)

c: real programming python: boring, not radical enough, bad syntax java: feels like coming home (i was abused as a child) rust: i like to live dangerously ruby: real programming

on this day in 1862 mexican general Ignacio Zaragoza's forces successfully destroyed a french ship carrying vital supplies of egg yolks and oil. unable to stand dry, flavorless sandwiches, the french retreated and the war was won. that is why today we know it as the Sinko de Mayo

back in the day all the guys you worked with at Wal Mart were proud to be cut. and they loved their country and the Hawks. Theyre all Fucking dead now ok. #StopBullying

while its true my sleep hygiene is very bad, i also have waking visions of the horrors awaiting us all as the empire lashes out in its dying throes. i bite my tongue daily to stifle the screams of anguish as i see everything i have ever known burn. do you come here often sugar or am i just lucky

I bet those guys who retweet hardcore hentai onto their feed regularly probably feel good as fuck

no scoped by today's featured wikipedia article

Someone said these were the inverse of each other and I can’t stop thinking about it

live free and secure that the king certainly had zero interest in surveying my exact holdings and what dues i owed him

Smoking that stuff that made Smucker's Uncrustable.

im the dan quayle of eating pussy

i don't say fuck because i don't believe in sex

typa shit city guards be saying to travellers nowadays

LAWYER: The shooter shared your post: “Bugs Bunny is a two-pump chump. I’d show Lola how to smash ‘Animal Style!’” What did you mean by that? ME: That Bugs Bunny cums fast. LAWYER: He lacks sexual prowess? ME: Yes. LAWYER: Did you consider that posting something this inflammatory might be dangerous?

When you start a job at Amazon

i am not horny enough to learn how to draw