SWIFTS!* Guys, the swifts are back, bless them. VERY exciting times to all of us who observe, eh. HOORAY! WELCOME BACK YOU LITTLE WONDERS! *There aren’t any swifts in this picture

I was hanging the washing out. Our resident fox did not care a jot.

He hoards innocent people up and put them in detention centres. He started a war for no reason. He's a liar. And unfit for his role. This doesn't even scratch the surface of his inadequacy. This isn't about finding a way to work with someone you disagree with. This is about endorsing a tyrant.

TODAY’S THE DAY! Sponsor me for @parkinsons.org.uk! shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

24 HOURS! Please sponsor my London Marathon for @parkinsons.org.uk - and wish me luck. shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

BOOK NOW! Looking ahead to when me and Paul Tonkinson_ hit Reeth during our Coast-to-Coast run in June. Two charities! Great show! Bar! Limited tickets available! LET’S SELL THIS OUT! www.hilaritybites.co.uk

ADOBE: welcome to photoshop. what would you like to do. here is an AI tool ME: i would like to draw a rectangle. i am selecting the rectangle tool ADOBE: did you say AI? ME: rectangle please ADOBE: sorry but i can only do that in an insane way now. here is a new layer and a vector for some reason

Thinking about Dad. He saw me run the London Marathon once, years ago. I’ll be thinking about him on Sunday. Sponsor me for Parkinson’s UK: shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

Look up www.bbc.co.uk/weather/arti...

A moment of inspiration! Sponsor me today for @parkinsons.org.uk: shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

Please sponsor my London Marathon for @parkinsons.org.uk: shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

What a BEAUTIFUL morning on the Heath. Fastest time in years, second fastest ever at Hampstead Heath parkrun - yay! Pulled a muscle one week out from the London Marathon - boo! Thank you marshals, well done fellow parkrunners and - walkers.

You too can help me and @parkinsons.org.uk! runcompod.supercast.com

If anyone is in the Whitehaven area, could you pop over to the Jawas and ask if they have any secondhand droids for sale, thanks.

Do it today! shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

I miss the version of social networks where I could see what my friends were up to. It’s lonely just looking at all this stupid balls.

My hottest “I have no data to back this up” take is that phones aren’t making young people less happy. What’s making them less happy is living in a world where everyone is having their reality defined by recommendation algorithms that can only care about whether something keeps you watching.

World Parkinson’s Day you say? Well, time to sponsor my TCS London Marathon for @parkinsons.org.uk in honour of my late, great Dad Barney. Quick, before one of us turns into a pumpkin. shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

Sponsor me for @parkinsons.org.uk today: shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

I ran, she swam, and we both revelled in the glorious sunshine. #hampsteadheath

The idea that a relationship was ever conceivable. Clowns the lot of them. From day one they should have been dragging this wanker www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

The face of a man who enjoyed parkrun far more than he expected to. Thank you marshals, well done fellow parkrunners and walkers.

I suppose there are worse places to be stuck on a train…

Let’s get my @parkinsons.org.uk fundraising up to 50% by Tuesday! shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

Hey advertisers. As a grown up, I won’t be saying ‘hello’ to anything that isn’t a person or, at a push, an animal any time soon. ‘Say hello to these programmes coming soon to our streaming platform’? No. No I won’t. Listen to yourself.

Yesterday’s news…

The line between real life and AI continues to blur…

Woke up in Whitley, Wilts and remembered this lovely morning of running and music. open.spotify.com/episode/2izP...

kind of amazing that everything trump does can be understood through the lens of narcissism and it's related needs (e.g., self aggrandizement, revenge, domination, grievance validation). i don't think any character has been so one-dimensional, not even wile e coyote or scrooge mcduck

Not sure anyone saw this yesterday! Well - no-one sponsored me anyway…

I'm experiencing genital discomfort whenever anyone treads on my dreams; must be a Yeats infection.

FIVE WEEKS TODAY! Seems like the right time to help @parkinsons.org.uk!

Sun-kissed return to lovely, speedy, nowhere-to-hide Hove Promenade parkrun today; fastest time (at any parkrun) in three years, thank you very much. Well done fellow parkrunners and -walkers, thank you marshals. You’ve got to love Brighton and Hove, eh.

Eid Mubarak - and Happy Spring Equinox. Special day.

Your mum, you’re a mum, their mum, they’re a mum, got a mum, not a mum, no mum, non-mum, gone mum… whichever, all the love to you on this day.

Here’s to the wonderful mothers in my life, with eternal gratitude; Julia and Barbara. One of each of their children pictured for reference.

A spectacularly sunny morning at #riversideparkrunchesterlestreet! I’ve made it look like I was there on my own, but there was a great crowd; thank you marshals, well done fellow parkrunners and -walkers.

When I was young, my so-called 'friends' would always throw their take-away food at me. I've still got a chip on my shoulder.

Anyone thinking of sponsoring my Cambridge Half for @parkinsons.org.uk but not got round to it yet? Now’s the time…

FACTS: Net Zero barely nudges your bill. Fossil‑fuel wars send it through the roof. So when Farage and his ilk slags off renewables while fanning conflict, remember who actually hikes your costs.

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD… Can we STOP with this ‘special relationship’ BS And also…can we wake up to the treachery of our right wing press?!

Some people were willing to accept a lower living standard for 'sovereignity'. I would accept a lower standard of living for decency. Bring on all the tariffs. Visa restrictions. It's worth it to not be complicit in killing children and civilians

Seriously though, how about we get to £500 for @parkinsonsuk today?

TWO DAYS OUT! Sponsor me today for @parkinsons.org.uk.

Hot dog. Jumping frog. Albuquerque.

Oh alright - I’ll present House of Games.

‘Sponsor my close showbiz pal Rob Deering in Sunday’s #CambridgeHalf for @parkinsons.org.uk’ - Michael J Fox. I’m paraphrasing a little bit… shorturl.at/EQ1Nr

Queen Elizabeth Park’s daffodil display is something to behold. #spring #daffodils #wordsworth