I fucking knew it.

Also, when are they rebooting Miss Marple with Celia Imrie as Jane? Make it happen BlueSky. #CelebrityTraitors

The Traitors have properly messed this up. They've ended up with the three most intelligent faithfuls. Nick, David and Joe are winning this. #CelebrityTraitors

If I was on Traitors I'd just be playing snooker every waking moment - fuck the rest of it

When the Nazi group chat ruins your talking points

A normal lineup tonight. An innocent lineup. #ittakestwo #scd

I canʼt wait for the twist that Nick Mohammed is Celia Imrieʼs secret son #CelebrityTraitors

"There's something fishy about Ruth Codd" me everyday at the roundtable, if I were one of the celebrities #CelebrityTraitors

It'll be wild when Charlotte Church reveals she's been pretending to be Welsh this entire time #TheTraitorsUK #CelebrityTraitors

As someone who always blinks mid-photo I feel Alan's pain #CelebrityTraitors

Paloma Faith? More like (Alan touched) Paloma's Face! #CelebrityTraitors

Clare, you blew it. #CelebrityTraitors

When you've done Duolingo for 3 days #CelebrityTraitors

Almost comical that Charlie Kirk was killed in a chronically online turf war between the Kirk gang and the Fuentes gang while referring to gang violence.

Everything I've learned about Groypers over the past 48 hours has been against my will.

Two songs in one episode. ITV really are spoiling us*. #Ridley *Hates us

Absolutely fascinated by #Ridley. Adrian Dunbar singing terrible Jazz at a failing Jazz club (take a hint Ridley) every episode for no reason whatsoever with exposition at every turn that a ten year old would think is too obvious. The nadir of moody British Police dramas. Incredible TV.

Pleased to announce that the new Jurassic World is actually quite good. Plenty of dinosaur chomping action 🦖🦖🦖

Enter this week's #Omaze draw, where you could win this 5 million pound house (possessed by the ghost of a dead child).

Thanks google AI but I meant to type “shut”…

When are they getting to Ridley's Jazz playing? #Ridley

I think everything in the UK started to go wrong when Bake Off got rid of their fun history section.

Devastated that I'm going to have to boycott future Dean Cain projects such as "Hank's Christmas Wish 3: Elvis Lives" & "Pickleball Pandemonium"

Rivalries aside, but RIP to Geoff the plumber, from an electrician

Just a post to show I'm still alive. Also I listen to Sparks now. Carry on.

Halfdan implies the existence of a 12 foot tall Dan. Too terrifying for #Eurovision

Accidentally turned on GB News and it's the funniest thing I've seen: they literally clarified that two presenters may disagree on things but "no one will be cancelled" like they're genuinely scared of it. Nobody watches this channel. Don't worry, you'll be fine.

DuoLingCronenberg

I will be there

Interesting how Mateta has a clear ear injury months later, yet Trump walked away from a bullet unscathed 🤔 #CRYAST #FACup

Saying sorry out of pure social anxiety as I get beaten up by five drunken skinheads

Holding up a little sign that says “please stop” as the notorious serial killer, Illiterate Bob, stabs me to death

"Not all true" is a very interesting phrase to use. Get in the sea, two Gs www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Check out this majestic little guy that Small Human made.

My thoughts are with the pope’s wife and children.

Becoming a Swiftie is not the plot development I expected for myself in 2025, but I'm going with it. Midnights is a great album.

It's always worrying when you get into the hotel lift on the ground floor and there's someone in there unable to work the key card activation. How long have you been trapped in there for? If I hadn't arrived maybe they'd have been stuck in elevator purgatory for the rest of their life.

Watching Baz Luhrmann's Romeo and Juliet. This is fucking great. RIP Will Shakespeare, you would have loved Married at First Sight Australia

One of the answer smash answers being Matt Hancockroach is satire at its finest. #HouseofGames

#TeamSuzy #TeamSchnauser #Crufts2025

I wasn't planning to touch anything like that today, but thanks for keeping an eye out for me, Bute Council

We should really stop using words like "worth" or "value" when talking about crypto

Whoever provided the screenshot for this: take a bow @the-independent.com

Also AfD: get to fuck

We are so back. BRING ON THE WALL! www.thesun.co.uk/tv/33517757/...

Replied to a meme on Facebook (which has the 2024 election results with Trump's photo replaced by Hitler) with the reasons why Hitler would win against Kamala, and the number of people replying who think I'm talking about Trump is very very telling.

The most rebellious thing you can do as an adult in the 21st century without being thrown in jail (no saying you're English) is to have a cup of tea in the middle of the night. I am that rebel tonight.