They're pre-folding on the shutdown. I'm tired of pretending any of this posturing matters. We do not have a federal government. We just don't. Sorry if that hurts to hear. It's a piggy bank for Trump to turn on and off as he pleases while he drags out every court case. Dems will keep it open

We paying taxes this year or what?

“I’m speaking now to the bus driver that’s holding my Musicology Duck. You have the power to let them go, unharmed. They’re very gentle and kind — talk to them, you’ll see. Their name is Musicology Duck. You have a chance to show the whole world that you can be merciful, as well as strong.”

Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent, make heaven crowded, they say that she was dancing, they say she can never die

My dad: “I think she’s really smart.” Me: “seems like it.” Sophie, finishing her lecture: “in closing this is why I deserve more treats.” My dad: “it’s a good argument.” Me: “the slide deck was really well done.”

Arapistsayswhat

Okay the guy who got kidnapped by his bus driver is legit the craziest thread I’ve ever read.

She has discovered under the bed

The vet, the friggin vet, just squeed when they saw Sophia and I’m sitting here like “please just take her shit sample.”

losing my mind over youtube's suggested reply for this comment

Christopher Meloni has a 50/50 hit rate when he decides to do comedy and the times he hits are unreal. Veep, the Wet Hot movies and Happy are so good. The way he delivers “Just because I’m in shape doesn’t mean I don’t know IMF means international money fund” so confidently just killed me.

the world’s most special boy is sick and everybody is being mean to him, which is why it’s okay he’s allowed to do forever wars now.

A certain 2 month old puppy got cold for the first time and she did NOT care for it.

I think my dog needs to have a goat friend. I will not be dissuaded from this. There will be a goat here by year’s end.

Morning.

The internet has produced exactly 2 good things: Wikipedia and being able to order pizza without calling so you don’t feel weird about your order.

Having a puppy for the first time in almost 30 years had been a trip, but it’s also made me realize immediately that 3 months isn’t enough paternity leave for human babies. Maternity leave should be, like 36 months and paternity should be at least a year. Fuckin dumb that isn’t the case.

I have an actual question: do you really all like monster energy drink this much or are you all doing a bit that I am whiffing on?

i started to type a post and then got distracted and came back assuming i would remember what i was saying and instead the post just said "do y'all ever get scared"

May Minnesota's business leaders someday find the courage of our high school journalists: www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Breaking: churches shut down for Jan. 23

lol you used to be wolves

Sophia has the hiccups. Level 4 cuteness attack. Taking unsustainable damage.

The not sleeping due to puppy time got the best of me tonight and I passed out for like 5 hours. Which Sophia took as an opportunity to also pass out. Bullet dodged.

Just ran outside with no shoes or socks on to roll the garbage bin back in and, look, we’ve all made mistakes, but who needs to feel their feet anyway? Jerks. That’s who.

I’d post the pic of Soph and my dad if it didn’t cross a lot of lines for him, but suffice it to say he’s obsessed with the puppy and let her in his lap and did snugs which is, I mean this, the first time in nearly 35 years he’s liked a dog enough that to do that. Way to go, girlie.

baby’s first snow squall

I am not here for Europeans telling me Americans don't know how crazy things are. The Nazis are killing people over here at the moment so we're busy but thanks for the input. I had hoped for solidarity but I suppose I'll have to settle for sneering condescension instead.

I just sneezed and the puppy looked at me as if to say “soon, soon old man, soon” which was a little upsetting.

I’m sorry I’m not single-handedly overthrowing the government. It’s just that I don’t own any weapons and I have a “thing” about dying. I go to the protests and do my best to help others but the people “on my side” have spent my entire life giving tanks to racist cops. They made video games about it

Is Heated Rivalry overly sexual? I dunno. Are the two leads insanely cute together? Yes. I almost feel like a voyeur because it seems like this should all private between them.

I'm not sure this is cleansing at all but the answer is [gestures wildly]. We get our strength from each other and every day I am moved to tears by people's courage and generosity.

I love the cold and the snow. I grew up in it. I daydream about moving to Norway. Having said that? I’d be crying in the Minneapolis cold this week. Just crying. Uffda that’s rough.

Me, to the dog who can’t understand me: “you alright, kid?” The dog: Me: The dog: Me: “no?”

You are living in Dick Cheney’s world and none of the 2024 Cheney Reclamation Tour bullshit will ever erase his legacy. “The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”

My pup is only 8 weeks old and I’m sitting here thinking how awesome it would be if human children developed this quickly. It would also be horrifying. All those well conditioned babies running around. Still. They could help with laundry.

I genuinely can’t believe most of our lives are completely preoccupied by the actions of one guy, and that in this case specially nobody has flushed his toilet, so to speak. I have cousins with permanent limps they got “in an accident” after lipping off and somehow this guy is just walking around?

responding to the babadook like when my cat won't stop meowing. ok yep i hear ya dude. but you have to indicate what you want from me or i can't help. alright buddy? wanna sit out on the porch? i don't know what baba dook dook dook means man. it seems to mean lots of different stuff. you have food,

On our walk today I got to experience what it’s like having a cute puppy around other people and I’m happy to say I don’t exist when she’s with me. 5 people spoke directly to the puppy and didn’t notice me at all. I should’ve robbed them.

Now wait a second if America collapses how will that affect my tv schedule?

This is a Shaq rap lyric from 1993

"I'm the only reasonable person with perfect opinions and takes" is a bit that is not improved at all by adding a layer of irony

She did her first trail walk today and it was like watching fireworks go off in her brain.

every day

If any motherfucker on the right or center wants to oppose Trump that's fine by me do your thing but I'm not gonna throw a parade for you.

Goodbye Sean McDermott and your unforgettable inspirational speeches. www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news...

The good news is, we're winning the fight. No, not that fight, the metaphorical one. Oh yeah no, the other one we're definitely losing

with thunderous finality -