I have not slept in my bed for 3 nights on account of the puppy and I am doing great. I don’t even know you could sleep sitting up. Wow! Always learning new things. Incredible! I’m not super mad my dad and sister made this decision for me! Fuck! I’m so tired. Thank God she’s a good dog.

It’s crazy the president shit his pants so bad they had to turn a whole plane around. “I think it was coming out the sides,” people are saying. “I didn’t know humans could shit that much, it just kept coming like a shit volcano but instead of lava it was shit” sources have confirmed.

Fuck!

C’mon you dumb motherfucker just die already. C’mon. Just do it. Just let it take you. Nobody loves you as much as death loves you. Just accept it, D. Just go. We’re all waiting for you over here. Look, there’s your racist dad, and your mom with the terrible hair. Let it come, Donny. Let go.

Tired: going out like Stan Chera Wired: going out like Logan Roy

Look, man, I’ll be honest with you. I’m 43 years old and I ain’t got it in me to listen to another jackass tell me how to do the job I’ve done since I was 20. I wish them the best, but also I don’t. Fuck every single one of them.

I love Sophie very much but she needs to be able to see me and my dad at all times which isn’t feasible so the poor girl has found her spot on the staircase that, sort of, gives her access to both of us at the same time. I can’t help she loves her grandpa and I’m not gonna stop it.

I should call her

After years of being told to put it on, I just put on Letterkenney and I want to know where in Canada people talk and act like this.

Mr. President the majority of the country hates you and wishes you were dead and thinks everything you say is the demented ramblings of a mad king, why are you so handsome?

Oh shit homeboy is yakked up

I want to go see Bone Temple again but only for Ralph Fiennes’s music video for Iron Maiden. That shit was phenomenal.

My niece has declared that Sophia is now known as “Fifi or feef” and I like it. I like it a lot. She looks like a Fifi

Evil Grampa’s brain is leaking again

Hm. The water main on our street broke which means I have no water at all right now. Not ideal. God bless the good men and women fixing it in this weather because lord it’s cold.

Watching Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes with Sophie. I keep saying “man gorillas are awesome” and she keeps grumbling in response.

They're pre-folding on the shutdown. I'm tired of pretending any of this posturing matters. We do not have a federal government. We just don't. Sorry if that hurts to hear. It's a piggy bank for Trump to turn on and off as he pleases while he drags out every court case. Dems will keep it open

We paying taxes this year or what?

“I’m speaking now to the bus driver that’s holding my Musicology Duck. You have the power to let them go, unharmed. They’re very gentle and kind — talk to them, you’ll see. Their name is Musicology Duck. You have a chance to show the whole world that you can be merciful, as well as strong.”

Whatever in creation exists without my knowledge exists without my consent, make heaven crowded, they say that she was dancing, they say she can never die

My dad: “I think she’s really smart.” Me: “seems like it.” Sophie, finishing her lecture: “in closing this is why I deserve more treats.” My dad: “it’s a good argument.” Me: “the slide deck was really well done.”

Arapistsayswhat

Okay the guy who got kidnapped by his bus driver is legit the craziest thread I’ve ever read.

She has discovered under the bed

The vet, the friggin vet, just squeed when they saw Sophia and I’m sitting here like “please just take her shit sample.”

losing my mind over youtube's suggested reply for this comment

Christopher Meloni has a 50/50 hit rate when he decides to do comedy and the times he hits are unreal. Veep, the Wet Hot movies and Happy are so good. The way he delivers “Just because I’m in shape doesn’t mean I don’t know IMF means international money fund” so confidently just killed me.

the world’s most special boy is sick and everybody is being mean to him, which is why it’s okay he’s allowed to do forever wars now.

A certain 2 month old puppy got cold for the first time and she did NOT care for it.

I think my dog needs to have a goat friend. I will not be dissuaded from this. There will be a goat here by year’s end.

Morning.

The internet has produced exactly 2 good things: Wikipedia and being able to order pizza without calling so you don’t feel weird about your order.

Having a puppy for the first time in almost 30 years had been a trip, but it’s also made me realize immediately that 3 months isn’t enough paternity leave for human babies. Maternity leave should be, like 36 months and paternity should be at least a year. Fuckin dumb that isn’t the case.

I have an actual question: do you really all like monster energy drink this much or are you all doing a bit that I am whiffing on?

i started to type a post and then got distracted and came back assuming i would remember what i was saying and instead the post just said "do y'all ever get scared"

May Minnesota's business leaders someday find the courage of our high school journalists: www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026...

Breaking: churches shut down for Jan. 23

lol you used to be wolves

Sophia has the hiccups. Level 4 cuteness attack. Taking unsustainable damage.

The not sleeping due to puppy time got the best of me tonight and I passed out for like 5 hours. Which Sophia took as an opportunity to also pass out. Bullet dodged.

Just ran outside with no shoes or socks on to roll the garbage bin back in and, look, we’ve all made mistakes, but who needs to feel their feet anyway? Jerks. That’s who.

I’d post the pic of Soph and my dad if it didn’t cross a lot of lines for him, but suffice it to say he’s obsessed with the puppy and let her in his lap and did snugs which is, I mean this, the first time in nearly 35 years he’s liked a dog enough that to do that. Way to go, girlie.

baby’s first snow squall

I am not here for Europeans telling me Americans don't know how crazy things are. The Nazis are killing people over here at the moment so we're busy but thanks for the input. I had hoped for solidarity but I suppose I'll have to settle for sneering condescension instead.

I just sneezed and the puppy looked at me as if to say “soon, soon old man, soon” which was a little upsetting.

Is Heated Rivalry overly sexual? I dunno. Are the two leads insanely cute together? Yes. I almost feel like a voyeur because it seems like this should all private between them.