When they made their initial approach to Rennes, they said “Jacquet, peut être?”

Wh… why would I want to do this?

Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down (describes the past couple of weeks in unflinching and uncomfortable detail, making no attempt to fit any of it to the beat)

99% sure Trump thinks Greenland is much bigger than it is because nobody has even attempted to explain the Mercator Projection to him

Dire Straits' Romeo and Juliet is a fucking banger, isn't it? My 20-year-old self would be horrified to hear me saying this, but then he was always a bit of a prick.

RIGHT YOU LOT. Time to fire up the pre-season preview machine. Big plans, and there's a few ways you can help me out... If you're a captain or club official, please fill in the pre-season survey which should have been sent to you all. The more clubs fill it in, the better.

investigating the cat

My rules are if there’s nobody on an adjacent treadmill, or they have headphones in, I can give it some beans.

Guy on the 79 bus is loudly arguing with his partner on the phone and even though I can only hear him, I’m on her side

The unseen episode of Desmond’s where their plane crashes and they run out of food

*Incredibly* excited for all the “they should walk off like Senegal” takes on here the next time a throw-in on the half-way line goes against your team

Down bad, singing at the gym

Make Heaven Crowded is an insane title.

Does it count as being Recognised when someone says “you have the same name as someone (locally) famous” but doesn’t realise it’s you?

A decision has been made

Girl are you a podcast because you're making me want to use an online therapy service

The abstract hell of memory; the pointlessness of poetry. Tuesday mood.

Spare me the curse of the incredibly on-the-nose song lyric

Holocene Park (it’s just a park)

Yesterday (2019) but I’m the only person in the world who remembers Hey! Fever by Arab Strap

I thought the FA Cup had been ruined because minnows couldn't take big clubs to a replay any more?

Lewis O'Brien

You have to understand that they do not and will not ever play ‘fair’. They will distort reality in whatever way suits them. Their side are martyrs and anyone else killed by their thugs is just collateral.

Thought the writing was on the wall when Sam Smith was going through then

"Premier League Nottingham Forest"

I know who it’s about but posts like this are so damn confusing to a British person

England's away Ashes Tests this century, grouped by whether they batted third or fourth (to make comparisons easier) and in order from good result to bad result. The green ones are this series.

“If you want to see sexualized AI images of children, you have to pay us!” isn’t “turning off” anything.

"Paywalled" is the word you're looking for. They didn't turn it off. The only thing that changed is X now explicitly makes money off CSAM.

“These England batters are two of my favourites and I am unable to sleep when they are batting” “Wow you must be having a really fun time enjoying watching them bat” “You’d think, wouldn’t you”

Beau Webster, despite being tall, has the name of a short man. I will not be elaborating on this any further.

Have we given any thought to kidnapping Steve Smith and taking over the Australian team ourselves?

Root in after the 10th over #AdvantageEngland

Just checking, on BlueSky we don’t know what weight transfer means either, right?

Again, it is not the aggressive shots that necessarily get these England batters into trouble

Khawaja’s daughter does NOT want to be there does she

Just me or is the audio miles out of sync with the pictures before play even starts?

this is your mission. our pedophile president needs you to jump out of a helicopter to kidnap a head of state and his wife so some oil ceos can make a lot of money. we’ll be watching from a resort in florida that still serves wedge salad and checking how many retweets we get. good luck soldier

Anything from our human rights lawyer Prime Minister yet? Does he still consider the racist paedophile a friend now he's bombed and annexed another country?

"I don't think Forest supporters would have imagined it being *this* tough" don't worry I did

First supermarket shop after Christmas

have to worry that this could do serious harm to the perceived legitimacy of the FIFA peace prize

oh yeah? well, could a dying sex criminal do THIS? [bombs venezuela]

Something particularly agonising hearing about dreadful things happening to kids the same age as yours, isn't there? Taking frequent child-hugging breaks from subbing this story about the Swiss fire.

Mamdani has only been Mayor for a day & criminals are already fleeing New York

day one in mamdani’s new york

Just driven into town to pick up 18F from the Albert Dock, which I am definitely putting in the column marked “parenting things my parents would *not* have done”

Fireworks at midnight or not at all, for me.

RIP 2025 2025-2025

As it's New Year's Eve - and I'm able to confirm I will still be covering local cricket next season - here's a look back at a few of my favourite pieces from Merseyside Cricket Online in 2025...