at last, we have invented retrophenology from the classic Discworld text Don’t Invent Retrophenology

more cor anglais

this is how i'd signal to the audience that we're about to enter the F# Phrygian Mode

It really is fascinating how overt it now is that there are certain - really not controversial - ideas that you aren’t allowed to say on television.

seeing UK fash awkwardly try on "christ is king" for size is embarassing. it won't last, imo. for most brits christianity stirs nothing except unwanted memories of singing "all things bright and beautiful" in school assembly and dodging Jehova's Witnesses. and i say that as an anglican vicar's son

need to declare email bankruptcy

the longer the note the more powerful the dread

During the last two years, Loula Yorke has released 6 albums and a mixtape and she's only just getting started. Joe Muggs talks to the modular synthesist about a background in raving and activism, and why it's time to start thinking of herself as an artist Loula Yorke Interviewed buff.ly/1yPe72L

very brave of Labour to deploy such strong language in calling Reform's proposed ethnic cleansing programme "divisive". Starmer has really taken the gloves off

Fake Gas Safety Certificate

imagine being a landlord and passively earning £550 a month renting out this onanism tunnel www.yopa.co.uk/properties/d...

Bonk Breaker

If you liked this experiment, I published a full piece today in the same vein: a text that gets 100 years older with every section, from a modern blog post to a medieval chronicle. It's a single story spanning 1000 years of English. See how far you get. www.deadlanguagesociety.com/p/how-far-ba...

Torturing my poor Behringer TD-3

comrade damian lewis, welcome to the resistance

Proper Britain

the yesteryear wonderland of the reactionary imagination never existed, and if it did they'd build a road through it anyway. these fuckers don't want utopia, they want Ring doorbells with onboard lethal countermeasures

driving to the big Morrisons in my car because i can buy a battery farmed chicken for £3 then coming home to cry over an AI rendering of a butcher. normal

yes my toe hurts pretty bad

waking up with a swollen and sore big toe can mean only one thing: it's time to Shout about Gout

Just listen to what Andrew’s nickname was amongst royal protection officers.

king shit

finished watching Homeland, all of it. i'm left with two thoughts; firstly, what am i going to watch now? and secondly, perhaps the CIA are just decent folks like you and me doing a tough job who could do it better without all that interference from those clowns in washington

i swear even a year ago i didn't think about america this much on a daily basis. there is far too much america

wonder if it's too late to salvage his birthday or if this constitutes a write-off

always been a house and techno guy but this will forever be in my top 10

really liking Music Mouse for picking out chords I’m too inept to find by myself. Also: swing ur delays for fun times

IN SPACE, NOBODY CAN SMEAR YOUR CREAM

Eating a giant cookie for both breakfast and lunch was an unforced error

I hope every rich nonce in the UK & beyond is brought down because three hours in a custody cell with no staff and vending machine coffee breaks Andrew like a dropped trifle

hard cheese

petition for andrew to be given his royal titles back so all those fuckers have to own it

really sick of basically all the music i've made, it's so bloated and corny, i want to make stuff that's a bit more nimble, a bit leaner and tougher

Ok I have far too much to do today to spend more than 2 minutes on this but here’s my political cartoon of the day, please enjoy

Saw. just walked out feeling like i'd been made to watch something horrible for no good reason

just watched a tv programme recommended to me by my girlfriend who had it recommended to her by catherine zeta-jones' nail technician. who wants my autograph

2026 basically

what is with the music for skating routines this olympiad??? someone used "send in the clowns" earlier, and now this???

I tried

THREE notes who are you johann sebastian bach? bet that shit's in F# phrygian as well you poser

i am never going to recover from this attack

extreme laziness

ok but now imagine the shamen had sung "crime is good, crime is good". would you be ok with that too?

UK PICKS EURORACK SYNTHESIST FOR EUROVISION CONTEST - FRENCH CIAT-LONBARDE ESCALATION 'LIKELY' SAY SOURCES CLOSE TO MACRON - HERR SCHNEIDER OF SCHNEIDERSLADEN GMBH "NO TRUTH" TO LAMBOURGHINI RUMOURS - REUTERS

naughty, naughty, very naughty