lfg 🔥🔥🔥☃️ www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VjS...

Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/

counterpoint www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Xsv...

Jeffrey Eggpeen

i don't want to live in a world where wes streeting

Absolutely gone at this story from Harris on FB, the last sentence is pure Atlantic coast magic.

He’s running

damn i actually feel sorry for this thing

Repost with an iconic fictional band www.youtube.com/watch?v=5DYG...

i can feel the psychic weight of one million people all trying to write the same convoluted "living in a box" joke. i gave up

They should just film this scene

My last word on the matter

A radio programme like the Shipping Forecast but it’s called Bin Day and it just reads out every single council in the country’s bin schedule

bankrupting a deeply reactionary news outlet to own the libs

She seems to fly under the radar as a truly disgusting person so share this clip

just to get ahead of things, here's almost five hours of christmas standards, plus alternative covers, plus some weird christmas stuff. it's a really good christmas playlist music.apple.com/us/playlist/...

i asked ChatGPT to help me plan an outfit and each iteration drifted further and further from what i actually look like, like it's fucking weird, i need to go and look in the mirror and check it hasn't done some sort of cyber Dorian Gray on me irl

every day now i log on and see people celebrating their own cruelty, dishonesty, and stupidity and it's making me pretty glum. also their jokes are dismal, they're terrified of literally everything and their aesthetics are 100% dogshit. why are these cunts everywhere? why aren't they dying of shame?

seeking a partner by toning down your eccentricities to become more palatable is a coward's approach. you must make yourself worse & stranger to drive away the weak, the romantic version of bequeathing your haunted mansion to whoever dares spend a night within its walls.

dulce et decorum est decaf oatmilk latte

christmas cannot begin until these freaks have finished blowing their beans over the cenotaph

the further the world wars recede into history the weirder this shit gets eh. i don't remember councils putting up remembrance illuminations in town centres when i was a kid but here we are

See if they got that depressing bugle to play gangnam style instead maybe id like remembrance Sunday

if you want to watch a really funny, clever, well thought out Christmas film on Amazon Prime check out “Red One” it will delight you

friends fear he's attempting a cassoulet

If it’s not too early for this annual reminder: remember not to give one single penny to these guys this Christmas.

Halloween out of the way (good riddance, it's just Live Laugh Love but with spiders), just gotta defeat the final boss of autumn (RESPECT THE TROOPS) and it's clear skies all the way to Christmas

Camouflage clothing may be having a moment – but in our violent world, is that wise? Ellie Violet Bramley #weekendguardianoftheweek

markov lookin' chain

Spydere Man, Spydere Man Doth al things a spydere kan Sondry webbes he kan weaven Thieves lyke flyes he kan cacchen Lo! anon cometh Spydere Man

it's like getting a "same again?" email from Dignitas

Uber app shut the fuck up sending me adverts every day

may you tread on a slightly wet bathroom floor while wearing socks you piece of shit

Every year we get closer to this happening on the news

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that they didn't

skateboard i ordered in april gonna arrive today. might have missed the window in terms of weather tbh

If you aren't seeing skeets from some of your fave people, they might have been labeled "Rude" by bsky mods. Idk what they are thinking, I don't need a mommy to tell me who to be buddies with. Anyway, go into Settings > moderation > bluesky moderation (advanced) and turn Rude off.

WHERE'S. YOUR. FUCKING. POPPY.

when i made this last year i accidentally made the icing in a metal dish that reacted with the citric acid and the whole thing tasted like sucking a nine volt battery or eating coins

I saw a preview and honestly, the Paddington musical was pretty weak. It was just a bunch of performers reenacting scenes from my childhood and adult life. All Paddington did was stand at the edge of the stage looking at something on some scales next to a feather?

looks like we've lost this year's culture war custody battle, and the john lewis christmas advert will be going to live with its dad

Ah no those people are screaming someone help them ahh

a great day for piss-boiling, congrats to all americans

We smokin that Cheney pack #ripbozo