through the power of Anthropic Claude Opus 4.7 i have determined that eating around 800 calories a day purely in biscuits and cakes is the reason my beer gut may not have shifted despite almost two years of not drinking. this shit is incredible

There used to a pop song every year named "Hero" and the chorus was always "You're a hero deep inside / don't ever let your hero hide". But then 9/11 happened, and every pop song was named "Party Booty (Bootyhole Remix) feat DJ A$$crack". And if it isn't true don't correct me.

i made a molotov cocktail once. but i was too scared to use it so i hid it in my parents garage and forgot about it. i wasn't planning any violence i just wanted to go out to some wasteland and throw a petrol bomb for fun

i'm hallucinating

i work daily with colleagues from eastern europe and i deliberately avoid using bizarre british idioms because we wouldn't be able to do our jobs if i did use them. it's not deep and the people who lap this stuff up are either genuinely seriously mentally impaired, or liars

what is the charge. what crime has been done

I don’t know shit about art but Tracy Emin at the Tate was fantastic

I’ve just counted, and *twenty-two* people die in Queen’s frankly morbid ‘Another One Bites the Dust’. Is this the highest body-count for any charting single?

Found time for a little light goofing off earlier. It’s good to have a laugh sometimes! What with everything

Oneohtrix Point Never, The Barbican, today. Or as my partner calls him, “one trick what’s his name help Jon I can’t say it’. Fucking SPECTACULAR show, incredible

Trains on the east coast line to London are all either cancelled or late and standing room only due to a trespasser on the line *yesterday* causing cascading failures in the precarious staffing. Entire network run on a shoestring but tickets cost same as a Fabergé egg. Praise be to the free market

Least insane British headline

that kevin smith tweet. i can't bring myself to post it but you know the one

feeling fresh and smartly turned out, can't wait to get off the train to London later this morning and immediately transform into a bumpkin

And the woman did speak unto the hound, saying, What do you mean, normal men, and the hound answered the woman, saying, We are just innocent men. And great was her emotion

boards o'canada

As a tall person I cannot offer to reach something on a high shelf for a stranger, yet if they ask me I must oblige. This is the law of the giants

the parable of the jabberwock

a second peter mandelson has hit big ben

new Boards of Canada is fantastic www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uYh...

the phenomenon of absolute bottom rung, manosphere-adjacent non-influencers churning out risible and amateurish "motivational" video content is fascinating to me and worthy of serious academic study imo, far more so than the big guys who featured in the Louis Theroux doc

SHOW ME THE FORBIDDEN NOTIFICATIONS, I YEARN TO DRINK DEEPLY FROM THE CUP OF SORROW

fuck this vibe coded shit for fuck's sake

i am consistently loving my job and have been for about 6 months now - probably the longest good run i've had in about 15 years before i got completely blackpilled on the horrors of waged software development - i am disgusted by this development

Copilot in MS Word is fucking fantastic. "please stop making the text blue" and it goes full Deep Thought mode for an aeon and then craps out having done nothing

bsky just glitched and told me i had 30+ notifications. for a moment i thought i had achieved my ambition of being the main character for the day

America basically hard-forked Christianity some time ago and are now transacting in the theological equivalent of Fartcoin while insisting to the rest of the world that it has some intrinsic value

this represents all of american cuisine. anybody who disagrees with me is an imperialist.

so much tedious shit being talked about AI from every angle, meanwhile i use frontier models to tell me which shirt will match my trousers. zen mind

Still thinking about this note I found in the children’s section of the public library when I worked there back in 2018. This kid tried to warn us…

this is a v satisfying speaker workout

World Cup USA 2026 is sponsored by Taco Bell's Cheesy Gordita Crunch. Land of the Free… Taste of the Crunchy. Get your soccer on and chow down on the Bell. 🇺🇸

the virgin Jesus (commutes to work on a donkey, two dads, spends 40 days in desert being cortisol spiked by satan) vs the chad Judas (networks with powerful Romans, silvermaxxing, plans to invest in latest temple currencies)

Wuthering Heights is a novel about how living in Yorkshire will kill you

trump is one migraine away from calling jesus of nazareth a loser

this is what ET would look like now if they'd just left him in that ditch. horrid little goblin

well this is horrifying www.wsj.com/tech/ai/goog...

AI is going to revolutionise NHS healthcare

the fact that he’s using it for propaganda makes me regret ever painting this

[to the tune of Golden Brown by The Stranglers] Liberal Pope, I guess he likes crime

Staying with my brother in a suburban AirBnb in the arse end of Sheffield and it’s kind of bleak in a wipe-clean sort of way but there’s a tiny sauna in the dangerous basement and these signs are everywhere

decided to take all the stickers off my macbook as i'm sick of it looking like a stokes croft pub toilet. failed to remove all the glue residue but at least my two grand laptop smells of vinegar now

me when i get a new follower

Martin, an Orc: Well boys, looks like meat's back on the menu Niles, an Elf: Ooh, has the Altura resumed their delightful venison carpaccio? Frasier, also an Elf: He's talking about eating Hobbits, Niles N: Hobbits? Oh father, you know they play merry hell with your digestion

If you want revenge, then dig two graves. the first one is a practice grave to get a feel for it and the second is your main or "show grave"

Parmesan Divorce

If I can be a cheeky monkey, I've got some effects pedals for sale on Reverb, if anyone is interested. reverb.com/uk/shop/gord...

Looking at this graph you'd have to assume there are bombs going off all over the UK, seeing as apparently the level of terrorism is higher than during the "war on terror".

what are we, a bunch of americans?

why is wes streeting talking about the iran negotiations? fuck off wesley