Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
@kelofulthar.bsky.social
📤 489
📥 288
📝 17265
My name is immaterial. Saturdays child, all grown. To all you clown comics, fix your hearts or die.
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Me irl
12 months ago
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I know that life in general would be better for everyone if we just collectively ignored the deeply unwell black pill MRA guys, but seeing that clown Clavicular try to insult the Aussie 60 Minutes guy and failing was really funny
about 2 hours ago
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It’s my grandmas birthday party tomorrow and you can tell that the retirees who planned it either don’t remember that my husband and I have evening jobs or they just don’t give fuck lol
about 18 hours ago
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Put a note on a prescription I was processing to get ready for sale that said “does not need compounding, processing for sale.” My pharmacist looks at me and says “what does that mean?”
about 23 hours ago
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My mom just texted me because she saw a homeless man and is unhappy about it. He has a muffin pan with his stuff and she says “I understand they use that with their Meth.” Oh you understand that do you?
1 day ago
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lol at NIN performing at fucking Coachella
2 days ago
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Gonna make fancy pan fried ramen
2 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
intercrural juror
2 days ago
look, despite the troubles that have befallen us with the plague and famine and volcano, the shaman says the gods are pleased with us and we have nothing to worry about. and considering none of the rest of us have ever spoken to the gods, i think we should trust him
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Bird
2 days ago
I'm afraid wages are not keeping up with inflation.
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I want palm tattoos
3 days ago
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I feel like there’s enough demand, why have Altoids not brought back the sours
3 days ago
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My mom laughing while talking about my cousin’s strange behavior after a TIA as if it isn’t completely miserable and horrifying
4 days ago
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MY FAVORITE MACKEREL CAME BACK IN STOCK 🎉 🎉 🎉
4 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
ChiliDishGambino
4 days ago
It appears I misspoke earlier when I said I have “gentle” warts. That is not what they are called
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Husband asked his best friend what he should buy his wife for her birthday, and bro told him “something from World Market”
4 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Matt Damon's Powered Exoskeleton
4 days ago
being unc and chopped is only a problem if you thought you weren't
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The Worst PASA in Denver set up a new patient with the pharmacy, told me the address, confirmed the address, then called today (when the package is out for delivery) to say they can’t to that address
4 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
nobody™️
4 days ago
Lol look at all you nerds being excited about space. Being happy and elated and shit. "oh look at me being positive about a cool thing" lookin ass.
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Really tired of the fact that I’ve become “Let Me Google That For You” for my mom but she only inconsistently listens to me
4 days ago
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Now feeling like I must quantify my top ten best guitar solos of all time
5 days ago
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Hmm. I’m sad
5 days ago
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Not me getting invested in Neopets because the social aspect of it is lower impact than my other forms of social media lmfaoooo
5 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Santana Abraxas
5 days ago
Like this
add a skeleton here at some point
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lol at one of my top ten least favorite patients telling me to take the owner of the pharmacy aside and scold him for not ushering her into a private room to talk about her non controlled sleep aids
5 days ago
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Goddamn I slept weird and my hand was asleep when I woke up on Monday and one finger hurts so bad ever since
6 days ago
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Ate all my chocolate, now I have no chocolate 😔
6 days ago
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Dinner took forever but it was very tasty
6 days ago
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lol saw someone making post about Patton Oswalt and liked it until I read it again and realized it was laudatory
6 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Never Enough Werewolves
6 days ago
it is so far divorced from what made me love Zelda games that it feels like one of those "this game was intended to be a new IP but they stapled an established IP on to it late in development" kind of games we often got on the NES
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I can’t fully express how much I despise mandated crafting in any game. I would rather just not play the game.
6 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Cohen is a Ghost
6 days ago
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Bro with a food blog on threads is charging $10 a month to access his recipes lol lmao no way buddy
6 days ago
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Something deeply upsetting about Homer Simpson talking about the interment
7 days ago
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lol at fuckin Patton Oswalt boosting some douchebaggy standup saying that people on “The Left” are worse than right wingers about inclusivity
7 days ago
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Trying to just vibe as my mom texts me a litany of stress and doom
7 days ago
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Surviving today only bc I know that I’m going home to make negimaki
7 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
🌇Sam🌃
7 days ago
it feels like I'm watching Shin Godzilla seeing all these useless elected officials demand someone do something
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It’s really cool to continually encounter Europeans, many of whom I imagine had never themselves actually taken part in truly serious life or death kind of civil disobedience, say that Americans to a man are fat cowardly idiots and demand that we all throw our bodies before the tank tread
7 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Chronocosmic Wizard
7 days ago
for its entire history our government has ratfucked, ruined, or killed anyone who was building leftist momentum, but go ahead and yell at us for being frivolous and useless, embittered organizer, and go ahead and vaguely entreat us as a nation to do something about it, foreign liberal
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Bill Nye the Science Guy
add a skeleton here at some point
7 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Guinevieve "Bug" Bryonie
8 days ago
give ⛈️ all your money
add a skeleton here at some point
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Gonna make negimaki 2morrow
8 days ago
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So thought the cat had been peeing outside the litter box for literally weeks, and it turns out that the design of our Amazon litter boxes allowed pee to get between the top and the bottom pieces and it was dripping onto the baseboard
8 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
⛈️
8 days ago
blegh
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
Santana Abraxas
8 days ago
Psychiatric drugs failed to cure my depression but did turn me into a maniacal pervert
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Me: I am sorry, I would not be able to process your [$22,000 specialty drug] at my pharmacy Him: You’re being too rigid. I want to try.
8 days ago
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Cool my mom texted me not with a normal question (“are you coming to your grandmothers birthday party?”) but a guilt trip statement (“I hope you’re going to try to come to your grandmothers birthday party”)
8 days ago
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Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
I think that anyone who got famous for talking about anything on twitch deserves the gallows
16 days ago
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Got big mad about people protesting for trans rights in Harry Potter costumes. This era of protest sucks man
9 days ago
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Forgot about the extremely unpleasant romance between an inmate and a guard in Orange is the New Black
9 days ago
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I have made soup, and salads for at least part of the week (bc I only have 5 appropriately sized Tupperware) and now I’m going to drink a dang ol beer
9 days ago
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