his speechwriters hate him too

It’s really too bad that Trump’s cabinet are all spineless worms or equally crazy because “the President has gone insane and is going to destroy the transatlantic alliance because they didn’t give him a Nobel Peace Prize” is kind of exactly the thing we have a 25th Amendment for

Can of air freshener in a Jiffy Lube bathroom politely requests not to be stolen.

I speak Midwestern: 🟢 “Hey man, you sure about that?” 🟡 “Take it easy, buddy” 🟠 “It’s time for you to head home my friend” 🔴 “I don’t plan to let you do that” ⚫️ [you are under the ice in a lake that will not thaw until Memorial Day]

Also seen at the Asian store: a bag of Skittles with the image of a panda with its butt up in the air, getting some kind of knuckle massage from a disembodied hand; a niche but not unheard of theme in furry art.

They have bamboo and grapefruit flavored Pepsi at the Teso Life store. If you’re a panda who isn’t currently taking statins give it a try and let me know what you think.

We deserve a world of pickle cars, not this. We all must show up until there are gold bugs of liberation in the street. Brilliant, by @rubenbolling.bsky.social

Found myself thinking about how much I liked and want to play Avalon Hill’s Civilization, then realizing how much of that desire is nostalgia for when I had that kind of free time and two or more friends willing to spend like eight hours playing a board game.

THE HUMAN BRAIN: so we’re going to need between seven and nine hours of sleep every night in order to function HUMANS: okay THE HUMAN BRAIN: and I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure we never, ever get it.

Pillow being sneaky

Elon Musk recommends that people not save for retirement since AI and robots will usher in a new age of abundance in unspecified ways and we’ll all be living on Big Rock Candy Mountain in 10 or 20 years. It feels like he’s trying to ruin credulous peoples’ lives out of sheer love of the game.

“Kopy Kat”, a print shop in Bellwood, IL. I have no idea what’s going on with those cats’ bodies or why their groins seem to be up in the vicinity of their necks, but the sign has a nice mid-century sort of look to it.

I mean yeah it’s derogatory but think of the epic road trip you could have on a ring world.

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself transformed into an enormous Bug-type.

Seen at the grocery store. Sure it looks like its just trying to keep warm, but I don’t trust smirking foxes with the secret of fire.

We turned on the Bears-Packers wild card game in the second quarter, Bears were down 21-3. “Well, we probably don’t need to watch this.”

I mean decent chance I’d watch at least the first couple of episodes.

It’s a bold move making a product for what’s got to be a pretty small niche market but I’m assuming it tested well with the bears that tried it.

My problem with these was that Altoids exist to be left in the center console of your car or your backpack and be consumed when you want something minty over the course of months, but when treated that way the chocolate on these would all melt together into a puck of sadness.

The Pinewood Derby. Everything my brain has to work with right now and that’s what I’m getting stressed about dreams about?

So it looks like I’ll be getting an MRI. I looked up whether any of my dental work would heat up or turn into bullets and get accelerated out of my head in random directions, and what I’m seeing online says that “most” dental implants “generally” won’t cause “severe” problems. Uuuuuuuuuuuhh.

From a *2014* Customs and Border Protection report on use of deadly force: www.npr.org/sections/the...

Excellent, damning analysis of the video of the killing of Ms Good, from the NYT, including a quick debunking of the “evidence” the President showed other Times reporters last night. www.nytimes.com/video/us/100...

I’m packing my case for a vacation next week and I remember last year being absolutely furious I didn’t pack my coin purse full of bird seed because a crow started following me and I kept looking at it like ‘I’M SORRY! I LET YOU DOWN! I LET US BOTH DOWN!!!’

Collecting material for a possible blog: Hot Dog Place or Pet Groomer.

Not sure if squirrel #2 is holding on voluntarily and doing this for fun or is in a full “Jane, get me off this crazy thing!” situation.

I know they can’t be as cozy as they look in art like this— like how good is the insulation on that bear’s windows? — but man do I want a cushioned window alcove to read in on snowy days and nights.

Five years ago.

OM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Sorry for the blurry taken-from-a-car photo, but there’s a nice little Polish restaurant nearby called Baltic Good Polish Food & the light behind “Good” has unfortunately burned out making it look like either some regulatory body or harsh self reflection has forced them to extinguish it.

A reference to the Boston Lying-In Hospital in a centenarian’s obituary results in me learning that “lying-in” hospitals were once a thing, based on the not unreasonable belief that if you just pushed a small human out of your body you should probably spend a few weeks having a bit of a lie down.

A shitpost so great Billy Joel actually heard about it

I love the bottle of Dog Adderal.

Is it just me or does that moon look pretty judgy?

Pretty low key evening last night, ran out to Jewel to get stuff to make dinner before they closed and got a reusable cotton bag with pop art style images of Jojo, the supermarket chain’s cyclops monster mascot.

Border collie wants to intimidate a sign into getting into line.

I mean it’s Ticketmaster, so convenience fees will bring it up to at least $30.

Thought I’d learn to sew in the new year. Step one:

Stopped at Korean supermarket Joong Boo when I was in the neighborhood the other week. K-Pop Demon Hunters is a whole thing there.

TIL that the phrase “amuse-bouche” isn’t generally used in French, but rather “amuse-gueule”, gueule being the word for a wider, animal’s mouth, like a dog’s. So in French the term for small interesting appetizers is basically “maw amuser”.

We took the Kid back to the train themed diner where food is delivered by a model train. Currently refining my own train themed restaurant concept, which may involve tiny amuse-bouche delivered by HO scale trains.

SHARE A GREAT FEMALE VILLIAN

And after some swearing and redrilling of holes that sure looked level enough the first time, we are now one step closer to the 1980s basement bar aesthetic we’ve been aiming for.

Well shit. Started the morning with seeing that I’d achieved a weight loss goal I’d set in an app fifteen years ago. I guess I told myself I’d get a tattoo now? Now I suppose I should set another goal I can maybe achieve in less than another fifteen years.

I am pleased to announce that we’ve successfully made it through both Thanksgiving and Christmas without our counter height dog rescuing us from any large hunks of meat. Maybe she’s getting better manners, or maybe we’re just avoiding leaving turkeys or hams within her reach.

Happy Boxing Day to all those who celebrate!!

It’s cool that Ebeneezer Scrooge decided to help the Cratchets out at the end of the story, giving Tiny Tim access to the best care 1840’s medicine had to offer. I’m guessing bloodlettings and laudanum, mostly.

As much as the Charmin bears are all about toilet paper, I don’t believe we ever see them actually wiping their butts. At the store I saw a package of flushable* wipes featuring a frog that isn’t afraid to give the people what they want. * (please do not flush)

Can’t believe the response this has gotten so far. We’ve still got a ways to go, but we wanted to thank everyone who has donated so far! Means the world to us! gofund.me/cedc182cc