In 2014 a dog groomer, trainer, and daycare had one of their windows broken and had a pretty good sense of humor about it.

Looks like they’re filming a remake of Running Scared in Seattle.

It feels like we’re seeing what the Daily Bugle would look like if Spidey were elected mayor of New York.

Happy Pride Month. If you're a gay man, please remember your power. People often think that gay men are innately fashionable, which means if you wear some stupid shit for long enough, straight people, including homophobes, will copy you and then you can laugh at them.

Holy shit. I’ve had Siri set up to use the Irish voice on my iPhone for a while, but I just learned of British Voice 3, which has a clearly Northern accent. It just read a text to me asking “Are yeh goin ta pick oop yeh prescription?” and I love that my phone is now a lady from Leeds or somewhere.

Imagine what Wild Bill Hiccup is doing to the stats for raccoons.

“It looks like you put your AirPods in backwards. Also, would you like me to order Q-Tips?”

Deleted post-credits scene from Ratatouille where Linguine gets a black light and finds out about that thing where rats leave urine trails for scent marking pretty much everywhere they go.

thinking about this a lot today

My insane "infinite money" pipe dream game would be to make Grand Theft Auto: Busy Town and play it straight.

The size options were limited when I was there, but if you wear a small or medium and appreciate tie dye, cheese, and trash mammals, Mars Cheese Castle in Kenosha Wisconsin may have a shirt for you.

It seems like the whole Dubai chocolate thing has pretty much run its course.

Sure, the “Great American State Fair” is shaping up to be a dumpster fire and they’ll be lucky to get Kid Rock and Forgiato Blow, but I like the idea of a state fair writ regular size on the National Mall. Book perennial fair acts like Kansas and REO Speedwagon and have a booth with Shamwow demos.

So apparently there was a Hello Kitty cartoon back in the ‘80s, and she had a mouth, which just looks wrong.

I got served an ad for a Bible app that insisted that God needs me to have a bible on my phone and I’d better not keep him waiting more than ten seconds to download it. It also said God needs me to read a verse every day from “Bilbe”, which is probably a typo but might mean gender-neutral Bilbo?

The Pontiac Aztek walked so the Tesla Cybertruck could… also walk but in a more dorky way.

Sleepy girl.

Forget Victorian children, “The American pope closes his manifesto on artificial intelligence by quoting Gandalf” is a sentence that would instantly kill a 2003-era forum user

the solution to the trolley problem is to build grade-separate rail transit, either elevated or underground. this is a joke but also not

I forget that The Onion is based in Chicago, and then there’s the Welles Park Gazebo near our old place.

Putting aside the AI gore whatever’s going on with the rooster’s legs, I’m guessing this shirt was intended to say something like “whatever life throws at you, *duck* and let it hit someone else” but duck, chicken, whatever.

Saw this sign at a hospital directing people to a Trauma Nurse Specialist course. At first I thought this was St. Sebastian (who’d make a great mascot for trauma nurses), but he only was shot full of arrows while this poor guy seems to have been impaled with a little of everything.

“I’ll just put this… over here…”

The difference between having a cat and having a dog is staggering. Having a dog is like having child who’s disgusting. Having a cat is like having a painting that’s mad at you.

Ended up at a diner this morning for breakfast between appointments. Decent place, but it had short chairs and tall tables so the table surface was about nipple high on me. Also the tv was playing Sesame Street so I kind of felt like I was five.

I can actually kind of see the apple pie and the dill pickle ones possibly working. You could lean into a sweeter recipe with cinnamon, nutmeg, and allspice, or go the other way with pickle brine. The “rocket pop” one sounds like bullshit and they know it, hence only available online.

Pick a Bond villain from the photos you already have on your phone

If I’d been asked a few years ago to come up with what the big food trends of the mid 2020’s would be, I don’t think I would have come up with “the embrace of beef tallow as a political signifier”

tbh this is probably THE day of the year to post this

Look: if you’re Trump, and you’re going to post AI slop of yourself with an alien, make it a Gamorrean or a Guild Navigator or something. Why would you willingly portray yourself getting, as the kids say, “frame mogged” by a ridiculously buff Grey?

A novel type of hostile architecture, in the form of benches in a hospital waiting area. Frankly I feel like that’s one place you maybe shouldn’t be a jerk about it if someone needs to lie down.

There’s an action figure of Kylie from Fantastic Mr. Fox, and for some reason one of the photos on the Amazon listing is of the figure photoshopped standing in a dark rainy alley, staring unfocusedly at the viewer.

That’s a verse of “You Can't Roller Skate In A Buffalo Herd” I don’t think I’ve heard before.

He looks like he would platonically walk you home and make sure you got inside safely #deer 🦌

When you call a nonagenarian friend of your octogenarian mom, and there’s this definite unease in the seconds between introducing yourself and reassuring her that you’re just calling about brunch, not to share bad news.

I was intrigued by the idea of blue jalapeño pepper flavored potato chips, but it turns out the bag was just sitting out in sunlight for long enough for the non-blue ink to fade.

Anti-Shark Hat.

Apple’s education discount program now requires third party authentication by a site called Unidays. I’ve been trying to get my higher ed employment status confirmed for days & their support keeps responding with emails in Romanian telling me to kick rocks, so I guess this will save them some money.

This account posts so much that if I followed it it would inundate my feed, but it might be worth it for bangers like this.

Maybe the people in the poll who said they thought Trump could beat them in a physical fight we’re taking his Secret Service detail into account. If the devil in The Devil Went Down to Georgia could use a demon back up band in a fiddle playing contest, pretty sure the principle here is the same.

“There will never be a better time than now to stick our genitals into that hornets’ nest”, while technically true, is still a less compelling argument than it sounds.

We got a new sofa with bookshelves in the arms. It’s nice and soft, but Data put all her V.C. Andrews books in it over the weekend, so now the sofa makes me uncomfortable in a different sort of way.

My new thing is whenever I’m cooking something and it tastes blander than I expected wondering if I need to add more seasoning or if I have covid.

Good morning all, and happy Mother’s Day to those who celebrate it.

WarioWare is the video game equivalent of They Might Be Giants’ “Fingertips”.

Kudos to Google for answering the questions it never even occurred to me to ask.

Researchers asked people about conspiracies and included some they made up themselves, including one that the Canadian military is creating an army of genetically altered raccoons. 20% of respondents said they believed it, probably because lying is fun. www.iflscience.com/army-of-gene...

I’m pleased to note that I’m now wearing pants that are only one size up from what I was wearing when I finished high school. Yes, I’ve been losing weight but credit also goes to the existence of “relaxed fit” jeans, the sizing of which is a real self-esteem booster.

Oreo the Cheese Eating Badger could only be more Wisconsin if she was wearing a Packers jersey and running out to the Kwik Trip for some Spotted Cow.