I aspire to look this cute in a short sleeve button-up

My hottest parenting take is that Raffi is not only the great to ever do it, but he’ll probably never be bested. Michael Phelps-ass children’s songwriter.

Do you know I actually think that these people are so inoculated from any public sentiment that they are legitimately shook by a handful of boos at commencements this week?

Fuck off, Feds!

the fuck it will

This administration would rather perp-walk an alien than anyone on the Epstein list

No surprise to see a tight whistle tonight. The league doesn’t want another superstar ejection.

I wasn’t expecting a suspension, but have no fine is wild 🫠

Lisan al-gaib!

Minnesota Sports Sky

WEMBY EJECTED! Happy Mother’s Day to me 😇

Give him the flagrant 1, not the 2. He was trying to get separation, he’s just so damned tall. Wemby wasn’t playing dirty. Keep him in the game.

It’s ok, there are still plenty more games in the series.

Do it. You’ll be legends.

What is especially galling is that this saved zero dollars, since the cruise ships pay for the inspections. And now their industry is less trusted because of perceived health risks. Amazing lose-lose policymaking.

Not surprising to see the Spurs playing with added intensity tonight. I just hope to see a bit more competitive second half.

“I rescheduled my LAN party for THIS!?”

I want to stay awake for the basketballs tonight, but taking care of a fevered child all day is draining.

BREAKING: Epstein Suicide Note Unsealed

Did you know the “weekend” and working only 8 hours per day used to be considered a radical, socialist idea? 140 years ago today, in Bay View, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 6 workers and a 13yo boy lost their lives to advance this revolutionary idea. A 🧵

I had to wake up Erica to play the victory song: streamable.com/bw2pzj

I’m so nervous about this. I have to light the candle tonight.

This Nuggets Wolves series was crazy. It’s absurd this was a first round series.

Nuggets/wolves: what if basketball was like the fight in They Live?

Basketball

I guess there’s no rule stating a sheep can’t solve crimes. The Air Bud doctrine strikes again!

Am I hallucinating or did I just watch an ad for a Sheep Detectives movie? What the hell?

There is a child chanting "Pitcher's got a big butt" at Bailey Ober

I know it's been said before but just thinking about the last year here in the Twin Cities and it's really a LOT. Hortmans. Annunciation. Federal occupation. Less than 12 months.

With all the new injuries, I’m not optimistic about the Wolves winning tonight. Or even game 7. At least the Wolves won’t have a worse night than the Hawks (hopefully).

This woman is the reason Republicans became obsessed with the whole “fraud in Minnesota” thing stoked on by Lisa Demuth who called in Nick Shirley and got Trump to do Operation Metro Surge, and now she’s trying to appeal to Trump to get her out of jail for the fraud. www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/ne...

Oh shit, I left my phone in the back of the mammoth taxi!

Shit like this is why god doesn’t talk to us anymore

The offense in this Magic-Pistons game is painful to watch.

Minnesota tonight even louder:

Gentlemen, you can't report in here! This is the White House Correspondents Dinner!

This game is cursed

Roku can be slow as molasses loading apps, which makes switching from between NBA games take an entire minute. I might as well load up the covered wagon and check the score in the next town over.

Update: It appears they don’t like it.

Managed to flag every passage but the ones about loving neighbors and helping the poor

Game day! Anyone saying a 2-1 series is over is a fool. Tonight’s game is going to be some good basketball!

Minnesota tonight:

Even when up by 20, I’m still nervous

Important Question: Do we have a map of front yard animals in Minneapolis? Like this, the Trex and Shark on Portland, the dog/cat/bird chess on Lyndale, etc.

On the way to work today, I saw a car with the plate: GOATMLK Does it mean goat milk? Or is this person declaring MLK is the G.O.A.T.?

What if I told you government could do things to meaningfully improve your life?

I highly recommend following a bunch of cool artists on social media. Some dope as hell art is a great balm to heal the inner rot from the doomscroll