As the song goes……”🎶 Twinkle twinkle little symbol of Allah……🎶” You can’t even celebrate Christmas. These Days.

Little known fact, 1990s goalkeeper Kevin Pressman is James Acaster’s dad

www.theguardian.com/football/202... It’s a total mystery who will win 🤔 In return, FIFA are set to win the annual “world’s biggest arselickers” award at the same ceremony

#celebritytraitors the inside of Alan’s head when he saw Nick vote to end the game

alan right now #celebrityTraitors #TheTraitors

#celebritytraitors Same vibe

#celebritytraitors Nick at the end, with Joe’s blood on his hands 😢

Might read a book. 📕 Only joking , going to look at my phone while a shit film plays in the background that I’ve seen at least 3 times and eat sugar until the anxiety is so overwhelming I have to go to bed. 😉

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025... 🎶 it’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife……🎶

Has Marjorie Taylor Greene been visited by three ghosts recently?

A woman is killed by a man every 3 days in the UK... 78% are murdered by a partner/ex Yet not once have I heard Reform talk about this Not once have I heard them back measures to protect women’s safety In fact, they voted against them...

The sex offender formerly known as Prince.

#celebritytraitors When I’m on holiday and need to order a beer in French

Accepted strategy in Traitors - don’t get too confrontational or point too many fingers or else you are bound to be murdered Joe Marler - #celebritytraitors

#celebritytraitors when I meet Farage, Tice and Anderson

Nick mastering the bridge like #celebritytraitors

I can’t wait for November so I don’t have to see the word “Spooktacular” any more

“Arsonist who helped start one massive bin fire in the USA reportedly keen to start another” 😡

www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a... Not now, diseased monkeys, not now

We have our popcorn ready.

If you think Trump can’t misuse the nuclear codes because "people would stop him" well those same people just watched him bulldoze a wing of the White House.

In today’s groundhog news, I see Darren Ferguson has been sacked by Peterborough United

Things that need to be made public immediately:- 1) Epstein files (obviously…) 2) the content of these “IQ exams” that he is SO obsessed with. Let’s make our own judgement about how hard they are ( spoiler alert, they will be pitifully simple)

“Black people make up around 4 percent of the population” she says here, ( in her massively insincere and fake apology) But…… I thought we were being “invaded”?😯 Can’t have it both ways, Reform. Vile racist bigots 😖

The reform party nativity scene. No unmarried mothers. No Middle Eastern people. No refugees. No people seeking emergency accommodation. And not a wise fvcking man in sight…

You won’t know if I win the lottery, but there will be signs

Poor Nads, gets handed her arse here. Lovely to see she’s not lost her Midas touch

Quite an unfortunate place to drift off into an ellipsis.

@9 mins per trophy, the GOAT, there will never be another 🙌🏻#mcfc

#celebritytraitors Joe Marler and Joe Wilkinson having this bond broken 🥹

#celebritytraitors When Stephen finds out Cat was actually tired from less sleep, not ADHD

#celebritytraitors I want them to get a traitor simply for the entertainment value of there being a recruitment - Celia or Joe M becoming traitors would be a magnificent twist 🙂

#celebritytraitors Joe Marler’s stare down of Jonathan Ross scared the bejesus out of me😟

#celebritytraitors Cat goes in two footed with the neurodivergent defence, absolutely wipes out the opposition - brutal but solid defensive work

If they made #celebritytraitors pay per view then the BBC could name their price and I’d pay it if it meant I could binge watch to the end right now

UK Boomers :”comedy was so much funnier back in the 80s before Woke” The comedy: 🤦🏻‍♂️

The same people who lost their minds over renovations to Cracker Barrel are totally fine with the White House getting bulldozed

"The banishment shall now be decided by fate" #CelebrityTraitors

Translation:- “As soon as I woke up with a massive hangover and saw the email summoning me to see HR at TalkTV, I decided to use the hacking excuse even though the post was *exactly* the sort of thing I would actually say”

Tough old night for Mike Graham. Turns out the bastard who hacked his facebook also shat in his trousers.

Top tip - if you constantly say “do you know what I mean?” or “…. If that makes sense…” then maybe just try to explain yourself clearly in the first place 😡. Winds me right up, don’t load all the effort on me

“Listen love you’re trying ever so hard”🤮 He even says it twice because he liked the sound of it so much and was so determined to be patronising.

I am from the UK - I’m so pleased to see these protests because the whole free world needs to see this authoritarian rise stopped in its tracks. Please keep doing what you can to stop that lunatic and his cult

This thread is 👌🏻😄

Looking at the footage of No Kings Day from across the pond and the CEO of Antifa PLC must be facing a huge loss-making year having paid that many people to turn up. How will they ever explain that to the shareholders?

Oh great, got a really painful attack of gout in my foot today, I must be entering my Tudor king era

Been doing this for years and not a single headline