Me hanging out of my bathtub while dying of a sinus infection to write this tweet

Screw cognates, I translated this with my soul

On the third rewatch, Kutner might be my fav character?? What an enthusiastic, joyful man. I hope nothing bad ever happens to him.

Couldn't be me tho. I fucked with the Hella Mega Tour and I find my teen cousin doing a 2009 scene kid/pop emo cosplay with their ripped jeans and MCR shirt absolutely adorable.

Do we no longer value institutions where people can gather to share ideas?? Spaces where we can learn to love each other as fellow journeyers on earth? I've lost faith in everything I once believed in. (Context: they closed the chili's by my house)

He loves to watch documentaries before bed

HER NAME IS CLOVER AND SHE DOESNT DESERVE WHAT HAPPENS TO HER

Eat your heart out Howl

I'll say it When there is a Free Little Library in front of every house on the block, it's performative.

Where the hell have you been, loca?

Two characters that need to be studied in tandem: Katherine Pierce and Itachi Uchiha I need the weebs and the vampire girlies engaging in discourse on my timeline STAT

be nice to the gestapo theyre just following orders

Chat how much do you tip your server at the hot dog joint Ok now what's the answer if you fired him last year

How DARE my phone call me a weeb

I wanted Untamed to be a horror show about feral people living in national parks SO BAD I quit watching when I found out it was just about drugs

No I don't have a problem with using too many prepositional phrases? Why do you ask???

At every moment of every day, the scene in New Moon when the camera spins around bella while she's in a depression spiral is playing in the background of my mind on a loop

The "mentoring Gen z" webinar is discussing the "terrible tragedy at the Coldplay concert" Boomers really have no concept of the world

you're telling me these ichlorians are mid

Going in for surgery with a private suite (with a bathroom) and got like 5 new bracelets and some fancy looking grippy socks. Really loving the VIP lyfe

We've been watching celebrity jeopardy and 100% making fun of how easy the questions are Turned on jeopardy masters so we could be a little challenged I've never been so humbled as when we flipped back to celebrity jeopardy within 5 minutes. Truly the wake up call my pride needed

Walking with Dinosaurs MADE me fall in LOVE with the most amazing, perfect, wonderful baby dinosaur and gave her a tender name like CLOVER and made me watch her MAKE FRIENDS and TAKE NAPS and want to DIE for her AND THEN TOLD ME SHE DIED JUSTICE FOR CLOVER

Ready to deploy like the droids in the phantom menace

ChoCho Akimichi fr

You should be spending a lot of your time reaching for plucking and then eating berries and you're supposed to be doing this for like two hours every day

Watching national treasure to prepare for the inevitable heist I'll need to pull to see anything in the national archives ever again

Y'all ever heard of this Billy Joel kid? It might be a hot take but I think he has some solid talent. Can't wait to see where his career takes him

The inspo vs the results of my self cut and bleached hair 💁🏻‍♀️

My bartender just smacked my mint so hard I felt it get turned on

Forgot the name for Moscow mule and got carded at the bar. The punishment fits the crime.

I super want to get into the X-Men comics but the only small teeny tiny problem is that I literally only care about the women characters

Aka the animorphs bird

I'm going to live an ascetic life in the wilderness for the rest of my days wearing only sackcloth and ashes

One really fucked up thing they don't tell you about being married is that sometimes your spouse goes to work >:(

Wait I thought we weren't allowed to get the switch 2 because we haven't been behaving well

Do you go with the intelligence based lawyer or the charisma based one?

A two sentence horror story: "No don't worry babe I'll only be on for a little bit" "Yeah guys I could fuck up some halo"

Sue Sylvester would have slayed Hey Baby by No Doubt

This tweet just earned me a verbal berating for not knowing the difference between mecha sonic and metal sonic.

The feminine urge to look at yourself having a menty b on the ring camera to see if you look hot or not

This self awareness PD course is starting to make me feel like Joseph Joestar learning about hamon with how much we're focusing on breathing

I just wanna go back in time and

A two sentence horror story: "I'm doing this ironically" I whisper to myself as I restart watching Glee. I believe myself less and less as I let the second episode play.

I spiritually identify with Saul from oceans 11 -ulcers -here for a good time, not a long time -certified faker -interested in dating the lady who works the unmentionables counter at Macy's

If blondes don't have more fun I'm shaving my head

Wake up babe new Magna Carta just dropped