talkin' bryan johnson, lego shoes, and cows over on the substack this week

if i send you this it means for shurr

the guy i always end up standing behind at concerts

am i just old or is every lid 4000 times tighter these days

twitter down this morning

@kelleygreene.bsky.social is back for another episode of the Boner Tabulator Files to discuss her Roman Empire, form tech exec and man seeking immortality, Bryan Johnson.

Sorry but Rob Rausch was built for this shit #traitors

if we survive the next 3 years of trump, i WILL NOT SETTLE for a moderate. i want medicare for all. i want trans folks protected. and i want all of these fuckers prosecuted

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

it's going great on threads

i forgot the word "tortilla" and called it a burrito skin

chicago's first-tuesday-at-10-am tornado siren test about had me jumping out of my skin this morning

The hilarious @kelleygreene.bsky.social will be joining the show this week for another Bryan Johnson: Boner Tabulator update.

The first two hours this morning

work laptop freezing up first thing this morning...it's not ready to come back from the holiday either

come for the pop-tarts, stay for the weird billionaires

Come for the Anderson Cooper giggles, stay for the Harry Enten in Bluey pants and chaps #cnnnye

See price in cart? Baby it’s not goin in there if I don’t know how much it is

i'm in the championship game in BOTH my fantasy leagues this year and i still can't quite figure out how that happened

oh great NORAD has santa's assassination coordinates

The state of the union is in like three weeks. This couldn’t wait?

LOLLLLL 1776 dollars America is a used car lot

The Onion, 23 years ago. theonion.com/no-blood-for...

THE TOUCHDOWN WAS EVEN BETTER

watching philip rivers get a first down

Every middle-aged football fan’s psyche is riding on Philip Rivers having the game of his life on Sunday

The upside down is building a wall and Vecna is gonna pay for it #StrangerThings

Can’t wait to see how we fuck this one up 😂

Nate on the jury bench #survivor49

Northern lights out the back door!!

trying to find my pinky toenail while giving myself a pedicure

daniel jones don't ruin my fantasy team's chances today challenge

Happy Halloween!! 🎃 👻 🌽

mfw i see farthest frontier has finally left early access and i can start getting achievements

today's aws issues in a nutshell

baker mayfield baker baker mayfield get some baker and you put him in some mayfield baker mayfield touchdown's what he's gonna make baker mayfieeeeeeeld

i feel like i generally do okay understanding younger generations' slang but them using "ASL" as "as hell" is REALLY throwing me off

Roll that unbearable bean footage

the dream is convincing a university to hire me as a football coach then living off the buyout from my contract after i'm immediately fired

back from my writer's residency and talking about microsoft crocs

red zone countdown sounds like background music for beauty and the beast

is george santos back on cameo yet 👀

i just wanna online window shop without the company sending me emails about something i looked at one time 😫

feeling very millennial today so i typed "notez" into the top of my google doc only to have it autocorrected. technology is ruining our lives

scott hansen taking his last-minute piss rn

i absolutely love bluesky but it's hard for me to leave twitter because i can still directly call russ vought a bitch and know he can see it

Them: So what have y'all been up to? Me: Haha, you know. The usual. The Usual:

Becoming increasingly clear we’re gonna have to build a parallel infrastructure for all the media we really love. The reason all of this is happening under the color of law is hyperconsolidation, dissent being traded straight up for merger approval, or fear of harassment.