Max Arfsten scored as many goals in 2 minutes as Christian Pulisic scored in the entire 2026 World Cup.

I know Cucho is too much of a pro to be here or stalking messages towards him, but man, I hope he holds onto the memory of his amazing assist in game 1 rather than the saved PK from tonight. Love you Cucho. Forever #Crew96

Egypt defending with six in the back and still don't mark Messi. That's a choice.

We went to get ice cream at 80' and honestly, best choice all night. #usmnt

This is the most embarassing blowout I’ve seen involving Seattle since the Columbus Crew murdered the Sounders in MLS Cup 2020 by a score of 3-0 in front of millions of people on national television including their own family and friends.

pulisic's 2026 world cup stats shots: 4 goals: 0 dispossessed: 2.73 per 90 commercials: 4

It's wild how many "celebrity shots" the camera crews take where I have no idea who it is.

So I guess all the people big mad about Balogun can stfu or whatever.

Poch needs to put Max and Haji in. Give them minutes at least. This WC is over for you.

Freese just won the game for Belgium.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA we're fucked

You know who would help win the midfield back? Aiden freakin Morris #USMNT

The luck in Pochettino's mechanic's uniform has run out.

Malik Tillman is him.

#usmnt playing like they're missing one thing:

I can't believe Seattle allowed that goal to be scored.

Somehow the entirety of "In Flander's Fields" is in my memory banks from memorizing it in 8th grade English.

Mitch McConnell died so that Flo Balogun could live.

Okay, at some point we have to put a number limit on how many relevant things can be true at once.

WAT

Maybe they should ask for money from the unclaimed funds in Ohio 😂

It's the Gulf of England now, I don't make the rules.

That was the Triple Lindy of penalty run-ups

Yeah, there's no question on that one.

Landon Donovan's other team is in shambles.

The Thing can't happen soon enough.

Go ahead and roll your way home, Neymar.

This whole red card situation feels like Democrats always trying to take the high road when Republicans cheat their way to victory. Sometimes you take the win how you can get it. Save the navel gazing for later.

The schadenfreude is off the charts tonight, y'all. Trump's little event could not be going any worse.

SCOTUS Justice Amy Coney Barrett has 2 Black Haitian kids who she adopted. Today she ruled to expel 700K Haitians who were here legally. Proximity to white supremacy is not protection from white supremacy. And proximity to Black and brown people is not exemption from being a fascist and racist.

Cucho had the look of a guy who knows he's not getting off the bench again. 🫤

Anyone do this yet

If only there were a federal entity that were interested in regulating this shitbag industry.

Cabo Verde gave the defending champs everything they could handle for two straight hours. What an incredible performance. 👏👏👏

Only three minutes? Be serious.

Regardless of how this ends, we'll be talking about this Cabo Verde team for the rest of our lives. What a privilege to have been witness to this.

Cabo Verde delivering a candygram to Messi

OMFGGGGGGFFFFDHDHWIFBDUWHEHDHEH2ORUEBE6

Steven Moreira's one of my favorite MLS players ever and I'd give up a digit for him to find an equalizer right now.

I love that bluesky is pretty much entirely team Cabo Verde.

Fuck off Drew that was a Pen.

Messi with the dive.

Lol Messi with the cheap-ass "shoot before the keeper is ready" move. No class.

Taylor Swift is missing an amazing match

CABOOOOOOO VERDE!

I would defend Messi by simply placing my leg in the path of his cleats so he gets a red card

I guess a shutout was always gonna be difficult. If Cabo Verde can keep it locked down from this point on, they still have a puncher's chance.