Once more, with grim resignation, #AbolishTheHomeOffice

Today in "couldn't do it again if I tried a million times" news: new umbrella, carrying it at my side, managed to plant it precisely into a tiny gap between two sections of a low concrete wall. Suppose I'm fortunate that I didn't snap the end clean off.

'At The Linen House in Lisburn, Rachel got trapped in a Premier Inn phone system. Two AI systems talked past each other, neither able to help the other. Rachel said "Oh, dear" four times. The virtual receptionist kept apologising. Nobody got a pint price.'

I've got an electric car. Where's my handout?

Listening to a podcast about Canada. Every Canadian I've met has been delightful. It seems that I've never met anyone from Alberta, which sounds like where they keep their bastards. #ThePolitics

Dunnes has completely lost the run of itself. #SpéirGhorm #NotionsToBeatAllNotions

every single financial institution would benefit from hiring exactly one (1) progressive to walk around the office all day long going “are you fucking stupid?” to anyone within ear shot

The RTE archive, doing nothing to dispel the notion that they expect miracles from Mr Parrott later this week - he captained Mayo to an All-Ireland for heaven's sake! www.rte.ie/archives/202...

And repeat

It’s too early for ham 😥

Watched Sinners with the eldest last night. She loved it. #FilmSky

(scrolls) (sighs) (thinks again "fucking hell, people")

23.3.2026 ➡️ (23 + 3) × (2 ^ 0) = 26 #CalendarMaths

A poke around the accounts of Britishish AI champion Nscale as.ft.com/r/f5df069b-d...

BBC Sport headline: 'Impossible for him to stay' - what next for Tudor and Tottenham? I think that's dated today, and not a couple of weeks ago when they last capitulated in a Premier League game. Although I think that was also the case then. #TheFootball

"How can we save money on HS2?" "Hmm... do the trains really need to be high speed?" #ThePolitics

When you’re sitting in the away end with only a Twix for consolation

I think the most affecting part of Spurs' headlong plummet to relegation is that any report on them inevitably includes a picture of Archie Gray looking glum. #lufc

It's only force majeure if it comes from the Majeure region of France. Otherwise it's just a sparkling shitshow.

Arsenalgeddon. #TheFootball

Spurs were last relegated from the top flight the Saturday before I was born. Just missing the chance to (in theory) see it twice in a lifetime. Or more, depending on what happens in subsequent seasons... #TheFootball

Just remembering that Spurs fan 'realistically' saying that, in the event of relegation, they'd manage to bring in close to a billion quid for their squad if they had to sell. I assume he doesn't watch the games. #TheFootball

So was the Atletico Madrid game a dead cat bounce, or «los Rojiblancos» just taking the piss? #TheFootball

How many have there been in all?

The UK government has published an emergency plan for fuel. Cue dickheads queuing to panic buy at petrol station forecourts like it's the pathetic fuel protests of 2000 in 3, 2, 1... #ThePolitics

Decades from now, when our children ask us why nobody can go into space any more, we can tell them that the richest people in the world filled low Earth orbit with lethal shrapnel, competing with each other to see who could spend the most money trying to create a computer that gave wrong answers.

🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶 And the man at the back said, "Everyone attack" And it turned into a... 🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵🎶🎵

I know breakfast is meant to set you up for the day, but adding drugs is a bit much.

22.3.2026 ➡️ 22 = (32 ÷ (0 + 2)) + 6 #CalendarMaths

The Snow Fairy: Japan's Cutest Bird Weighs Only 8 Grams 🐦❄️

Oh no. I can hear - and more distressingly recognise - the delicate tones of The Vengaboys "Boom Boom Boom Boom". Now replaced by more 90s Eurodance cheese, as yet unidentified.

"Man with His Daughter and Kitten, Whitechapel, London" Ian Berry, 1972 www.abebooks.com/Whitechapel-...

It’s been so long since Arsenal last won the League Cup, they let footballers do adverts for cigars.

In Donnybrook Stadium (well, technically Old Wesley's home ground) for youngest's rugby blitz. Go looking for coffee. The petrol station visited last time has closed, boarded up. 😯 The Insomnia in the Spar confused me. 😳

Ideal scenario: Spurs and Forest somehow contrive to both lose. Nightmare scenario: They both win. #lufc

In between teams turning up and actively not wanting to play a game, and blatant cheating such as this, I'm further losing the will to care about football. #lufc

Didn't watch, as we don't have proper telly anymore, and I was at the cinema - but it sounds as if there are now double the number of potential presenters for crazy, sideways-looking, chucklesome celebrity travelogue shows. Well done everyone! #snluk

The ads here, from Fingal Council about waste disposal - the spiritual heirs of the ones for Val's Tea Shop and the Taj Mahal curry house that I saw at the ABC Wakefield in the 80s. #FilmSky

To the cinema (hiding from the Leeds game) Decide to get a drink from a vending machine (Sprite, if you must know)... which is room temperature. Jib!

I don't know who needs to hear this but the Dutch Pancake House in York has a banana & Biscoff one called "Half Ban Half Biscuit". I still had bacon, apple and stroop

Quick check-in on the main items on today’s agenda at the TV channel run by Leeds United’s sponsors/co-owners. #lufc

These (expletive) stupid (expletive) (expletive)s.

Soon... @thesquareball.net #lufc

SWIM REPORT 60 lengths / 1.5km / 0.93 miles Lane all to myself, apart from when child 2 came to do a few lengths Renewed my membership today, for far less than I expected Child 2, afterwards, pulled out an eyeshadow pallete and is channeling Agnetha from ABBA

Work in progress

catᶜᵃᵗ #Cat #Caturday

I had a great time with Ready Or Not 2: Here I Come (and there was a lovely little Letterboxd easter egg when I logged it) boxd.it/dBW8il #FilmSky

21.3.2026 ➡️ 21 + 3 = 20 - 2 + 6 #CalendarMaths

When some mad old tune suddenly crash-lands in your head and you need to listen to it - the only plus side of the internet is that it's easy to scratch the itch. youtu.be/SfvoDfY8HhE