Arby’s.

55 POINTS 55 REBOUNDS 55 ASSISTS 55 BLOCKS

MY DATE: hehe I only asked you to bring your copy of Seven Samurai over so we could ~kiss~ ME: ME: ok so this is Toshiro Mifune's character introduction, I'm gonna need you to stfu and lock in

I want into the record that the Editor-in-Chief of the Baltimore Banner declared me “remarkably well preserved” when she found how ancient my old ass is. Anyway, she’s right.

Hey! Have a good day!

Obi-Wan voice: “Now those are Profile Pics I haven’t thought of in a long time. Long time.”

@thomasawful.bsky.social lol found this looking for something else and legit lol’d

Are you sometimes too aware of your pivot foot at work

Want to feel old? Mission of Burma's "comeback" album came out...TWENTY-TWO YEARS AGO!!!!!

I disrespectfully agree

Get you a husband who takes pictures of himself in dive bar bathrooms at the age of 42

Get you a wife with Big Dick Energy.

Me looking at a normal dressed person. "That fit is insane."

Don't have the confidence to pull off the Irish Goodbye but am a master of the just as mysterious but less abrasive Irish BRB

Wolves in the throne room.

Remember in 2014 when reputable places would publish 20,000 word thinkpieces about men finding themselves by going to a strip club and getting a boner and there were forty-eight footnotes

Querying literary agents is a good way to get that classic, nearly forgotten getting dumped over text message feeling. You were just TOO yourself!

Baltimore Spring

Just tried to swat a fly and missed then confidently explained to my coworker that you miss 100% of the swats you don’t take.

Kevin Costner filmography

Damon Agnos sighted in Baltimore

The year 2026

Just found out the first girl I ever kissed is in prison for murdering her husband.

Herkimer Homolka? The Romanian philanthropist?

I was going to write a DC for GO FORTH, but then discovered that @thomasawful.bsky.social basically already did way back in 2015, and it's way better than anything I would have written. So go read this and then vote for Les Savy Fav!

Is your bookstore a finalist for Publishers Weekly’s Bookstore of the year? Couldn’t be me! www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/...

Still taking recs for banging new albums. Spring is here, baby.

Not sure if this is a conflict of interest but it is weird to me, strange even, that there’s a bookstore in Baltimore with a “Boys Only” book club. Doesn’t seem necessary but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s necessary to have a safe space for boys. Anyway, hope it’s fun! For the boys!

"Fandom deserves to be taken seriously" I actually can't think of anything more desperately in need of being taken LESS seriously.

Please name some new records that whip ass I need music

I can’t take this anymore. Everyone is too stupid or evil or both. I do not recognize my fellow man

you are NOT chopped. you are NOT unc. you are SIGMA. you are AURA FARMING.

Laker Fans Furious As Bam Adebayo Dies In Even Worse Helicopter Crash

It was 80 degrees yesterday on my walk home.

Me and who

Tobias Fünke if he were a warmonger

Guy in the ER waiting room wearing a Tim Pool shirt

The Shocker will never die.

Guy friends be like

Honestly? So sweet.

30 more minutes of Alex's Big Day

It’s my birthday! My wife is is in the hospital for surgery! What a day!

ah, Rubio with literally the German rational for started WW1 - we must attack first because they will attack us if we attack them.

Anyone gonna be at AWP this year? Let's hang

J Walter Weatherman voice: “And that’s why you never skip an author event!”

Come out and see me shake my way through introducing them with a quivering, hapless voice!

Goutmaxxing