Watching the Rose Parade: “This is an all-adult band made up of music educators…” Me: “Oh god, they must be so drunk right now.”

Points scored in 2025 playoff games: JMU 34 Ohio State 14 Time for a serious conversation about handing out these participation-trophy bids like candy. Bad TV. Safety issue. I just feel so bad for Ohio State. They should have their own junior tournament

J: "This is the first I have seen of this...Cheez It King?" Me: "OK, first of all, he's a prince, and he was in exile for three years."

They made a big cake for Big Cow.

When I was younger and much dumber I dated a string of conservative women and yeah, it was pretty big mistake in each case. Turns out shared values matter.

Television, Marquee Moon.

Notre Dame's football coach: the notion of sending us to the Pop-Tarts Bowl is insulting BYU's football coach: God wanted us to win the Pop-Tarts Bowl

Is today the day that I finally snap and say “Give me your phone, you’ll get it back at the end of class” to my father?

Tiny Tim, who DID NOT die, fled through the desert while the gunslinger followed.

Well, we didn’t even make it past stopping for gas on our way out of town before the first puke of the day, but otherwise we have successfully made it to Grammy and Grampy’s house.

One of my professors in undergrad was an Aaron Copland scholar and was doing research at his archives at the Library of Congress when they accidentally brought him a box from the restricted collection containing letters between him and Leonard Bernstein. Apparently they were… explicit.

Current* conditions near Chicago, IL:

This is literally the only condition under which I would actually listen to the Grateful Dead’s music.

In undergrad my now wife and I and two of our friends got drunk and went to a late night showing of Twilight at the dollar theater. There were two other people in the room (clearly on a date) and it was obvious from their dirty looks that our loud laughter and commentary was ruining it for them.

Why are they always so proud of sharing pictures of the most awful looking food imaginable?

A&M really could have used Reveille on the sideline because they definitely don’t have that dog in them.

Sincere post: it is one of the greatest joys of my adult life to be able to see the magic of the holidays renewed through the eyes of a younger generation. Hunting for eggs on Easter, Trick or Treating on Halloween, hiding under the covers so the Night Turkey doesn't peck your penis off, Santa Claus

The pride of Wisconsin.

your last saved meme is your moral philosophy …I mean, it’s not wrong.

Michigan football:

Why can’t Michigan just play a normal game against Northwestern? Why does it always have to be like this?

This reminds me of a community band concert I once played where a trumpet soloist gave a LONG speech dedicating a piece to the “woman I have loved for the past 30 years.” The catch was that he had been married to someone else during most of that time; we all knew it, and it was so uncomfortable.

15 years.

I don’t really care about the Billboard charts but, uh, 1989 was a pretty incredible year if you like alternative rock.

Political parties must shift immediately and dramatically to the left to avoid alienating these frustrated and abandoned young women. Am I doing this right?

I was married but I'm not married any more. Women don't like the vehicle.

Update:

Watching the @channel6.bsky.social pregame chat with my favorite assistant.

Yeah, that’s what happens when you’re all hopped up on school spirit and experimental jazz.

Oh good, the Cubs game is also starting, this will surely help to relax me and lower my blood pressure.

Football,fútbol, and cat.

Oh darn, are we not supposed to do that? My bad, I didn’t get the memo.

“IN THE COMMUNITY…”

It feels notable that Austin implemented a version of this, reassigning certain duties and services to social workers after the police complained about having to do them. When the police found out that the budget for those things also went to the social workers, they threw a tantrum.

To all the comedians who stood for free speech in the face of wokeness

I prefer my chocolate to be tuned to less mainstream pitches.

Well, everything is terrible today so here’s my cats:

Oh, did the Bears do something inexplicable and lose a game in excruciating fashion? Wow, what a brand new experience for me.

The fearsome moth hunter surveying her territory.

Of course the broadcast crew for the Texas game mentions one of my favorite bars in Austin when I’m out for a few minutes running an errand.

I am a hypermasculine and extremely powerful alpha male. As such my greatest fears are seed oils, rainbows, people who don't look like me being on TV, and preventative medicine. I cannot explain any of these fears and consider that to be your fault.

OH: if vaccines caused autism, we’d have way more trains in the United States

Bruce Springsteen is releasing the Electric Nebraska album to fortify his Omaha stronghold in the event that Sufjan Stevens restarts his fifty states project. You want Nebraska, you've got to go through The Boss to get it.

What in the Gomez Addams is this look?