My dog has perfected the commando crawl to random person to roll to expose belly for pets. Unfortunately this behavior is endlessly reinforced by it being adorable and it works to get pets from nine out ten strangers.

Yeah...this ain't it chief.

Whatever you think of the White House as a building or a symbol, the fact is that the image of it being torn apart on a whim two days after 7 million people hit the streets against autocracy is going to make a HUGE amount of people really, really angry, and that's an energy that should be harnessed.

Absolutely bananas.

📸 Nearly every dot in this James Webb image isn’t a star: it’s a galaxy, each with billions of stars and even more worlds. And this? It’s just a tiny corner of the observable universe. A short thread 🧵1/

Rep. Ro Khanna: “Our push to release the Epstein files helped strip Prince Andrew of his title. Now it’s time to hold powerful Americans who covered up or abused young girls accountable. The survivors have waited long enough. Congress must vote—justice can’t wait.”

Pretty valid TBF.

Cackling 🤣.

My Husband found out we're in Austin the weekend of the Texas Stars fallout game. Unfortunately we are in Austin to attend a wedding that night, so...

A foundational truth of this republic is it has no king.

That team would help Otter bury a body no questions asked.

Fork found in kitchen.

That book had me baffled as a teenager. It's Bananas with a capital B (no regrets).

Also my Doctor said the ol' eye shingles was enough for my immune system right now, so if everyone else could get sorted I'd appreciate it.

Allocated to TC 3600.

I lived in the Cambridge Fens for 18 months and it creeped me out so badly I couldn't look out the window on the train.

I'm in this picture and I don't like it.

"Rumored Tryst Between Alleged Castro Lovechild and Lady Astronaut" at LAST we are getting the HEADLINES OF THE FUTURE promised by the 1960s

RIP Ian Watkins, it’s crazy that you were such a nasty nonce that they had to off you on Nonce Island over it

I'm still mad about the time I got stuck behind his dumb ass tour bus in the car park of a New Hampshire Whole Foods.

You have to respect the game.

it’s cool how millennials were perfectly primed to see everything get really, really innovative as children and then see it all go down in spectacular flame as adults. we’re so lucky

After three weeks of raw dogging a horrifically inflamed eyeball with no pain meds other than Tylenol I finally got the go ahead to restart steroids today. Never been so relieved.

And then what happened?

Do they really think the NFL hasn't run the numbers on this? Like, we lost Chad from Nebraska who has never in his life been to a game to Lee Greenwood's Turning Point show but We picked up 3 million members of the rising middle class in Latin America. Boo hoo...how will we cope.

Why are the Stars.

Not sure about the Victory Plus/ Joe Rogan Experience intermission set up.

YIKES. Even for the Trump administration this is creepy.

This is like one of the gotchas on the LSAT 😂.

Lol the Nobels can't even acknowledge women's contribution to discovery. But sure let's acknowledge The Machines.

Aaah shit. I'm off to ICE Internet camp if they look at my tattoos.

Milngavie.

I have viral keratitis and an open ulcer on my cornea, which is exactly as miserable as it sounds so I'm wearing sunglasses to watch hockey.

As someone who cross-examines for a living, this is barrister 101 : When someone evades or deflects, REPEAT THE DAMN QUESTION.

I’m not body shaming but I’m also honest this Texas boy is gonna roll through Portillo’s once and switch allegiances

Everybody Hurts, but it's about as perfect an album as exists. An absolute jewel box of treasures.

You love to see it.🤘

I fear I am exactly the kind of nerd to get this joke.

Uh...ESPN...phrasing...

Why is some old person in the waiting room of my ophthalmologist's office always listening to something at full volume on their phone?

Ah yeah. I'm sure there are hoards of illegals among the corporate guests of the Qatari sovereign wealth fund.

I got banned from the library in grade school 🫠.

Whatever did happen to the idea of not using Federal funding as a "gun to the head?"

"We are going to relentlessly taunt an extremely competitive man *FROM NORTHERN IRELAND* because surely that will make him buckle" shocking that didn't work, really

Voting for whatever candidate promises to congressionally mandate traumatizing all third graders by forcing them to watch Old Yeller, for the sake of public health.

Secured the goods.

This is an incredible thread. I learned something (and I'm a person that has more British silk scarves than strictly necessary).

The first politician I ever cast a vote for. An absolute gentleman, sadly they don't make them like him anymore.

My smallest claim to fame is that I was at the Springsteen show in Hyde Park where Paul McCartney performed Twist and Shout with the E Street Band (first time he'd performed it since, like, the 1960s) AND...the council jobsworth cut the mics because they'd gone past curfew.