Christmas penguins always bothered me, as they live in the South Pole and most holiday lore takes place in the northern hemisphere. Friends and I have adopted the extinct Great Auk, Pinguinus impennis, as the official holiday "penguin", which we celebrate on the solstice. Merry Auksmas, everyone.

Joyous Solstice, y’all, brighter days lie ahead. But the sun can’t do all the work that’s needed. In dark times, he promise of spring really shines when we warm and uplift one another. 🌞

Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think https://theonion.com/study-finds-link-between-red-wine-letting-mother-know-1819570397/

still bitey after all these years

“The old man could replace a fuse quicker than a jackrabbit on a date” how come I never clocked this line before tonight 🎄⚡️🐇

My response to anything over the next two weeks

Important PSA

Desert Dawn versus The Dirty Window guess this is how my mornings just are now

Speaking as an ancient human, I can only say YES.

THANK YOU everyone who shared or liked this post. Unfortunately I received no bids, so Chucho lives to fight (gather dust) another day. I'll still entertain offers going forward, but it might be some weeks before I'd get back to storage to retrieve the poor lonely mutt. 💙

I’d be grateful for any shares to help boost this sale, please and thank you 🤘🐶🤘

FURSUIT FLASH SALE! Blue merle mutt dog (formerly known as Chucho). Fits ~ 5'6" –5'11" average build. Great starter suit! Foot soles are ready for upgrade. Spots are basted for easy repositioning (or removal). Sale closes 8pm MT today! P/U in ABQ or u-pay shipping. DM me with questions/offers. 🐾

I don’t use social media to argue about politics with strangers. I use social media to talk to people about fish. When I talk about fish on Bluesky, people ask me questions about fish. When I talk about fish on Twitter, people threaten to murder my family because we’re Jewish.

Stretching it reeeeeeal thin until my new jorb starts Tuesday. While things are generally going my way, a cascade of small delays and small-to-medium expenses has thrashed my reserves. Wonder if I could do a lightning sale for my dog costume or something.

Black Stallion Close Encounters of the Third Kind Condorman Clash of the Titans (‘81) The Muppet Movie E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial Fantasia

Just here at my old neighborhood coffeehouse trying to enjoy my book, and a buncha youths just took over the adjacent table to start a loud bible study. Guh. It’s Sunday. Shouldn’t you be doing that in a church? (or really anywhere the hell else) 😤

🍄🐈💀❄️ hiddenstashart.etsy.com/listing/4424...

I forgot how much the sunlight of mile-high New Mexico nourishes us tree-folk even this close to the winter solstice. Healing experience through and through. What a treat. 🌞🌲

“I felt called to ask you if you’ve accepted him as your savior. Does that make you uncomfortable?” “Ma’am, If you want to get uncomfortable, ask me what I really believe, and I’ll turn your world inside out. But the Lodge rules are ‘no politics, no religion,’ so you’ve still got time to run.” 🦌🍻🦌

at a certain level of any creative or intellectual collaborative job the main task is sin-eater: to fix what you can and get blamed for what you can’t, secretly knowing how much worse it would have been if you hadn’t done what you did.

I showed you my birds. Please respond.

Rewatching the first 🤘🦊🐰🤘 in prep for probable watch of second Tuesday, and I want to confess that I have always misunderstood the Try Everything lyrics to read I keep on making those Scooby Snacks ...which I assume is wrong, but also so right

Is it wrong that I want to cosplay as Sarah Sherman’s SNL drunk raccoon? Everyone will have probably forgotten it by the next Comic-con anyway 😞🦝😞

I never wear sunglasses (unless descending Skyway Blvd while the Sacramento Valley is flooded from heavy rains and the sun shines from the west, for which I have polarizing lenses in the glove box), but today I bought a ✨fancy✨ pair for $2 at an estate sale and now I think I have pink eye THANKS 🖕🕶️

My chin has developed a muscle twitch from smiling too much. What a great frickin weekend. And it ain’t over yet. *coyote emoji*

A few months ago I began trying to imagine the perfect job for me — envisioning its responsibilities, locale, flexibility, coworkers (if any), etc. — a job that sounded too wildly improbable to be true. Well, this morning I accepted an offer for exactly the thing I've been dreaming of. Manifest ✨

… and he SERVED ✨

Happy Krampusnacht to those who salivate! 👹🍽️👶

the long bright night of the soul

Another good sticker gift

♥️

Acting as short-term personal assistant to Great Aunt Wildred, and hooooohhh mannnn, dementia is a mean motherfucker. She’s finally aware of it, and the stress of perceiving it compounds its effects (which she also sees, which compounds further).

Had a very, very good business call with potential client while sitting at a brewery’s outdoor patio; during the call, a raven dropped out of the palm tree to perch on the chair opposite me and behave like a very good listener. Calling this a good omen.

Btw, the ballet dancer who posts every year on TikTok their rat costume for the Nutcracker is already posting their yearly Rat Season. Credit: @belle_urwin on TikTok

Apple TV have released a new #PrehistoricPlanetIceAge video that discusses our use in filming of technical reference puppets; I make a cameo during my role as a woolly rhino puppeteer .. www.youtube.com/watch?v=9a5T...

family member: Why do you keep destroying your savings and going on new adventures? me: The only reason I save money, ever, is exactly so I can turn it into new adventures.

I am a bag of bones and pain and smells, and I can’t sleep or make sense of the noises coming out of the grey matter upstairs . Who even invented human bodies. These are ridiculous vessels for incomprehensible souls, and it’s no wonder some of us don’t even want to identify as people. bleagh

Been stupidly sick since an allergic reaction Thursday morning, and I’m just lying awake, barely alive, listening to that one Beastie Boys song on loop so every three and a half minutes I can sing along with the barking dog intro. Because 🤘 you can’t 🤘you won’t 🤘 and you don’t stop🤘

ok this joke might be a little too specific

i have no power in this realm except to be awkward. I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. But I don’t know any better. I’m a wild animal wearing a human costume. I try so hard, and maybe it’s just time to stop trying. I think I will try to swim to Guam.

I think this is my new theme song. Paul’s guitar even sounds like my old Gibson, so I’m thinking I’m gonna have to learn this shiz. it’s so me 🌱 open.spotify.com/track/6TjUg1...

Some mornings I wake up and think about walking away from everything, literally just grabbing my small backpack and starting to walk, leaving behind my material possessions, bank cards, ID, etcetera. This morning might have been the closest I’ve ever been. I’m tired of all this human shit.

I just got back from a sunny walk along the Tijuana River estuary, and someone here is watching a TV football game somewhere it is snowing, and the very idea of spectators paying for the privilege of sitting outdoors in such bullshit made me laugh about as hard as I remember ever laughing. 🖕❄️🖕

thank you for a phonky time

no surprise 🤘

Can you imagine what it was like to be alive in the 1960s, getting to hear new releases for the first time from the Beach Boys and the Beatles? By the time I had a working brain, we took these sounds for granted, heard them on easy listening radio, but without the groundbreaking impact.

Introduce yoursmelf with five wild animals you’ve seen in the wild me me me me you

The lard thing is why the Manteca water tower will never not be funny.