At a certain point, and it might be soon, we will all have to play quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings. At least for a little while. An assistant coach will knock on your door and you’ll just have to get in the van.

Every time I sign a new client I get hyped with them. I’m not here to be a boring lawyer. Even if it’s just writing a will I want to hear the stories about the legacy they’re leaving. I once had a terrible boss but she taught me how to connect with my clients as people, and I always remember that.

CEO-to-worker pay ratio in 1965: 20-1 CEO-to-worker pay ratio in 1990: 75-1 CEO-to-worker pay ratio today: 280-to-1 Trickle-down economics was always a sham. Nothing has ever trickled down.

the fact that nick fuentes isn’t here but ms rachel is illustrates perfectly that groups like this don’t actually care about antisemitism at all

And with that, I’m switching over to Boardwalk Empire.

How do you overthrow a jumping 6’8” man?

The president is a political cartoon of corruption come to life, a gaudy grifter who is selling off pardons and lining his pockets, building a golden ballroom and protecting his fellow sex predator elites, all the while regular Americans are suffering and struggling to make ends meet. Run on *that*

Quote of the night last night: “Two things I’m generally always up for: sex and Trivial Pursuit”

This Thanksgiving, ICE fascists are arresting people in San Diego At Their Green Card Interviews! These immigrants followed the law & did everything right—ICE is arresting them anyway. It was never about law & order. It was always about fascism & white supremacy. Abolish ICE. Protect our Republic.

Let's not confuse the people giving the stupid orders with the people who have to deal with following them, who are often good and decent people.

Holy shit what a catch

You couldn’t field a basketball team with the number of poly Catholics that will listen to this and be like “oh ok you’re right and give it up”

Face hurting in winter > oppressive heat and bugs in summer

nose down ass up that's the way we cyberstuck

I bet this hits hard if you’re really stupid

Me, an atheist: Your holiness I stand ready to join the crusade against the demonic computers

Me: what if I get bottom surgery and tattoo the Spotify code for the seminal 90s hit song Detachable Penis by King Missile? @lucyinpgh.bsky.social: why are you like this?

Absolutely unhinged take from a certified sports writer? Bluesky has made it.

I think I’m going to quit being a lawyer and it feels freeing.

If I’m at a party and someone pulls out their phone to say “hey listen to Grok”, I’m at the wrong party and I’m out.

lol my sister and I grew up so poor we drank powdered milk, stole tomatoes from rando gardens as a kid so my mom could stew them over rice, and we went on exactly one family vacation ever. But because now I’m an elder millennial trans Jew lawyer, I’ve gone non-contact with my dad.

James Pierre won’t be getting any calls from Hollywood

Jameis Winston is an alien

Mike Tomlin with the tried and terrible punt to win strategy

I think the Steelers are more fucked than a one legged man in an ass-kicking contest

I feel sad for NHL fans who don’t get to experience married couples in the penalty box together.

Hey TJ Watt did something

My sincere belief that we probably should all dress a little nicer while traveling is superseded by my sincere belief that we should mind our own business.

Caleb Williams is good

Because it apparently bears repetition: You do not make fun of people for things like their weight, height, voice, baldness, ancestry, etc. Even if they are horrible people. That is not a get out of jail free card. Pick something else. Preferably in the actions or thoughts zone.

WE GOT A FIVERRRR

Well, that’s enough internet for today. Currently going out side to not only touch grass but to desperately cling to it.

WAIT DID CURL JUST SLEWFOOT MALTAIS?!?

I’m a fellow suit-wearer too as a lawyer but her stance on Israel was gross until the reversal.

happy transgender day of remembrance thank you for sticking around in the hardest of times. if you haven't, you are missed dearly please live 💜

I get the joke of this post, and maybe it’s my Carolinian blood, but for real Pepsi > Coke.

squirrel: *points gun* me: what do you want me to do? squirrel: *gestures at sign* me: alright, i get it *opens book drop* squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion* me: NOT A SQUIRREL! squirrel: *disappears into book drop* me: *whispers* forgive me, keith

This has been one of the hardest years to be transgender in nearly a century. Today we remember all the sisters and brothers we've lost to the surging tide of hate, and redouble our resolve to support and defend one another at a time when few others will. Hold out. We'll see the other side together.

I got a 93 and never heard of 90% of the stuff on this test. Which I think just makes me a regular 44 year old from Pittsburgh.

Raleigh, NC

The House takes 2 months off & finally reports back to work & promptly spends the next week filing censure motions against each other & attending black tie dinners w/Saudis while the clock counts down for 24 million people to have their health insurance premiums spike in 42 days.

Too mean? 🤷🏼‍♂️

the Harvard Crimson called Epstein a “child sex offender” while the Chronicle of Higher Ed called him a “disgraced financier” and that pretty much sums up where we are with higher ed journalism

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

We said the same during the Iraq war and then they just rewrote history and everyone gave them a pass

Watching the Epstein survivor admit that she voted for Trump really fucked with my head. The brainwashing against the left that apparently people endure from birth, must be way deeper than I ever imagined. A victim voting for a rapist, who has also been accused by 26 other women? Over a woman? WTAF?

New thing to do. Go to your local community Facebook group, find people complaining about how long they’ve lived here and now they have to pay a little more in taxes for a public good and tell them to move if they don’t like it. You can get heads to explode.