Tbqh Kamala Harris is kind of the last person I want to hear from right now

Should I read Moby Dick or Anna Karenina next?

Wake me up when Biceptember ends

Wake me up when Biceptember ends

I think there’s a digimon inside my vape

Did you guys ever realize rapture is an anagram for “top me?”

Time to bulk in the next couple weeks I think

Kimmy Jimmel 😍

Contemplating going clean shaven again 🙂‍↕️

Idk somewhere between 3 and 5 I guess

I think I might’ve come down with something over the weekend from the family funeral. Unemployed, not feeling well, can’t go work out, feels fucking bad tbqh!

Bye bye beardie

Beard needs to go bc too many ppl at the family funeral this weekend comment on me and my younger brother both having beards

Ginger ale is the only healthy soda

Thinking of changing my facial hair up. Beard-stache perhaps? Just mustache? More sculpted beard? Clean shaven??

Shirley Jackson, VP

The serpent whispering in Eve’s ear:

Hi from my parents’ bathroom

make them proud 💖💖💖

You can just @ me and I’ll give your app a vibe check no need to ask the bot

New iPhone update has me feeling like I have never used a smartphone before

Oh my goddddddd

FCC stands for fat cock cock

Idle hands 👊🏻

I love that we can see how many ppl saved our posts—new quantitative metric for me to hyperfixate on 😍

Is it a requirement for all opinion columnists at major newspapers to undergo a frontal lobotomy, or is it just en vogue right now?

Lemme keep this brief

I’m so skeptical of the casting of Jamie Lee Curtis as Jessica Fletcher. Frances McDormand, Annette Bening, or Catherine O’Hara would all be better suited to the role. In particular, McDormand has already given an acclaimed performance as a Mainer in Olive Kitteridge.

Lemme keep this brief

My attachment style is Velcro

AI slop bear event poster spotted on instagram, must be a day ending in y

Boy Brunch ☀️ @br3l00m.bsky.social @fidofantasy.bsky.social

Me when I lie

Here is some non-satire for you: Trans rights forever.

I use a VPL because I value my online privacy 🤓

Actually obsessed with this candid shot bestie got of me yesterday

Viewpoint discrimination is such a goofy ass phrase ngl

Haunted by thoughts of shaving off all my body hair

My aunt died suddenly yesterday. This is one of my favorite photos with her. She was a compassionate, cheerful, truly kind woman. She was active in her church, advocated for it to take liberal stances and sang beautifully. She was a mother of 2 and grandmother to 3. I love her and miss her greatly.

*Moira Rose voice* Labubu

She sit

Girl bestie formally asked me to be a bridesmaid yesterday :))

Fem top fall… save me fem top fall

This is tomorrow morning. I’m really excited about this opportunity

I’m not on twitter anymore but Williamsburg’s number one psychopathic house husband is having a major crash out over there and I’m so grateful I have friends to brief me on this important news

So I grew up in a pro-gun, conservative climate and I would just like to note that it was a common sight at gun shows and gun stores to see paper targets featuring both the faces of prominent terrorists and leaders in the Democratic Party. Many men I knew growing up treated this as normal or funny

NEW: Christopher Landau, deputy Secretary of State, announces foreign visitors to the US who make fun of or “rationalize” Kirk’s death will results in alerts to consular officials.

Ribombee came!!

Rare gym, not locker room, pics

Posting through my complex emotional interority with flippant humor iktr