There are no words for how evil this is

asldkfjs zohran coming off the top with a eugene debs quote rocks so hard

my face legitimately hurts from smiling so much, mayor mamdani already causing problems

cuomo watch party's background music captions pleading his entire case one last time

We did it for you Dick Cheney

never forget

in the mood for a good scary book, like scariest book you've ever read scary, who's got something for me

haven't seen moves like this since ted cruz was running for president

SCOOP: Mamdani did something even we are forced to concede wasn't what it we are also making it sound like, to no tangible gain, for a college he didn't go to, 15 years ago. Our anonymous source is political activist Adolf Hitler

I'm in touch with a source in Cuomo's camp. They're all screaming and turning back into rats. Not looking good so far

on top of just being purely blissfully happy there's the incredible spite bonus that every soulless little ghoul who decided to pretend they hadn't ever denounced cuomo is getting absolutely nothing in return

israel is now at war with four separate countries

watching this over and over for the next 24 hours just to feel something

Begging the sergeant for another post so I don’t have to guard the donut shop and get relentlessly bullied by protesters

what's crazier is they know people are looking and they don't care

That officer took deliberate aim at this journalist and shot her. There's nobody standing near her.

alright this has gone too far—there is simply no excuse for making Gavin Newsom sound cool as hell

elon musk to donald trump at every meeting in the oval office: “you are in the epstein files. meet my 3 year old son”

forcing JD Vance into the middle of this against his will is such an incredible bonus

This is still Trump's best Elon work but I have high hopes for the next 24 hours

lmao

In retrospect maybe the Democrats should have put this in some ads after gawker published it in 2015

I was so scared that when it happened it would be anticlimactic or quiet and, gang, it's nice to have a pleasant surprise!!!!

terrified to feel optimistic about anything but god, Zohran really is so good

does anyone remember when during, like, the weinstein era the times opinion account posted a song from *I THINK* bari weiss's sister about cancel culture? I can't possibly have hallucinated this it's too bleak to consider please help me my family is dying

Wot? It's a NEW podcast about Britain, from Charlotte McDonnell and Libby Watson! Each week, we'll invite a guest to talk about a bit of Britain—a shop, a TV show, or one of our beloved beige foods. New episodes every Monday, bonus episodes every Thursday! linktr.ee/whatsallthis...

I’m sorry it’s just so fucking funny that they built an entire AI just to give them the answer they wanted to this question and they couldn’t even do it

NYT screwed up one headline and is now writing everything in this weird super-passive voice

the marathon runs directly outside my bedroom window and i used to hate it because they'd wake me up at 5am on the most sacred of days (daylight savings) from setting up but today they did not and i would just like to apologize for the endless slander i've hurled at marathoners over the years

the krassenstein evolution has been fuckin wild

Just now learning that was a Boebert first date—desperate to know how much interaction happened pre-Beetlejuice honk, personally I am praying that they were just introduced in the lobby

alright gonna try to use bluesky for real, anything good happen over the last two months

if your last name is kennedy you can be like "the nefarious jews have poisoned our wells" and to the NYT it merely "raises questions" but if you're a democratic member of congress who expresses fairly mild criticisms of the israeli government, it's a different story

what did everyone get me for my half birthday

just realized i can finally post without worrying about my therapist seeing—thanks bluesky

the best thing they could possibly do for this site is make it so that typing some variation of "you, ma'am/sir, just earned a follow" immediately blocks you for a period of 48 hours with increasing penalties upon repeat offenses

Lmao this is so fucking stupid

trying to open totk every 30 minutes on the off chance some janitor at nintendo accidentally sits on the "ashley can play now" button

Just the most viscerally unpleasant shot imaginable, incredible campaign material

my man saw all the trump paintings and thought "that should be me"

wanna reach the level of success where i pay someone to match my skin to the walls of my home

Forgot about bluesky for a week what'd I miss

some guy's already getting dunked on, extremely dangerous energy right now, like starving a bunch of chimps and letting them loose at a mall—takes a real idiot to post anything resembling a take rn

i need him here

kind of hoping they keep this invite-only for a good long while because I think you significantly cut down on problems if you require every account to have at least one (1) friend

just lost my first follower, already feeling like home

just decorating our new pad to give it more of a "lived-in" feel