One thing about me is unless you’re my friend or I like you, please don’t touch my food 🙃

If you learn nothing else please learn to identify the opps. You need quicker discernment now more than ever.

I love a good "who the fuck is you?"

Speaking of shrinkflation, have y'all seen sliced bread lately? 😠

Genie sub so i can get them to tell me all the loopholes and keep them forever 😭

Vampire pawn shop reality show starring Nadja and Colin Robinson from what we do in the shadows. Somebody please make this happen 😭

Because vampires live so fucking long, they probably know exactly how much something should cost. “This is an antique, it should be expensive!” “Trust me darling, I met the creator. It was gaudy back then, it’s gaudy now. $30 dollars take it or leave it.” 💀💀💀 I’d pick WW Court though.

Everyone enjoying their weekend: 😁🥳🕺🏽 Monday coming to ruin it:

I wana live in the country so i can get drunk set stuff on fire and watch it for 3 hours

💪🏾

I will pretend someone I love never existed if they do me filthy.

Im making meatloaf, mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts

Siri play why don’t you love me

🫟

Friendly reminder that humans and the big dinosaurs didn’t exist at the same time. Birds are dinosaurs tho

Niggas with androids be so fine oh my goddd 😭

If you're black and lgbtqia+ reskeet this. #blackgaysky

Somebody should start k****** these people

If you’re White and commit election fraud or murder a young Black kid walking home from a convenience store but don’t want to face any real consequences, do your crimes in Colorado

Vince staples got me at work feeling reeeeeeal different

Also why they only wanna stop some shit when that baby got to beating his ass? Where was that energy when that bitch ass mf was taunting him?!

It’s sad as hell he had to do this but I’m glad he made his face look like the Hogwarts Sorting hat 🙂‍↕️

Vince staples about to drop a masterpiece

Today, I signed an Executive Order temporarily repealing bedtimes in the City of New York so that kids of all ages can watch our team in the NBA Finals. As Mayor, you’re forced to make many difficult decisions. This was not one of them. Go Knicks.

Serena Williams announces comeback to professional tennis

So it’s not just me?

“That dollar has probably been between a stripper’s ass cheeks.” Freaky frogs:

I was so scared

I look so fuckin good 😭😭😭😭😭

I cut it yall 😭😭

Yall like scary movies forreal?!?

Only good thing about 2026 is the music

I deleted the Instagram app and now my muscle memory is trying to kill me

Now can yall stop acting like you like hearing roundbob music

They gotta stop making the old album covers move Carl Thomas just scared the shit outta me

It was either that or a bug eyed bitch and that is worse so I’m proud

I just called somebody a monkey and should be ashamed but I’m not

Just tell me I’m pretty don’t over analyze it.

The United States government no longer protects its citizens from companies because they never really have lol

Jar alfredo sauce is just fine

Instagram’s search fucking sucks and i don’t have tiktok anymore im pissed lol

I am

Are yall mad?

Noname is so pretty

Holy shit i can see muscles coming in

Start doing free stuff for niggas if you not already

A lemon scented cleaning solution HATEEE to see me coming

Yesterday a gentleman caller informed me that he has been reluctant to court me because he thinks that I’m a sex demon and not the cutie patootie i believe myself to be 🥺