John McCain’s best friend is a big fan of committing war crimes.

What did people think he meant when he said Republicans just had to elect him this one time and then they would fix it so no one had to vote anymore? Like what other explanation was there?

Leaving aside everything else, the fact that our Homeland Security Secretary says “expecially” like my four-year-old is cause for some concern.

I’m sorry, who are we talking about?

This again is one of the problems of this whole thing. The Iranian leadership is not "insane." They're fairly rational actors that seem to behave in rational ways, but if you keep saying they're insane there's no way you can talk to them.

Film you've watched more than six times with gif. hard mode: no star wars, star trek, lotr, dc, marvel, disney, pixar, dreamworks, spielberg, cameron, wachowskis, or ghibli

Is there a market for "Ken Van Dyke will be pardoned after kissing Trump's ass" yet? I'd like to place a bet.

The Meritocrats!

I thought we had completely destroyed their military.

Hey, check out this broken clock.

burn it all down.

When you win, it’s not hard to make a deal.

you do not have to hand it to tucker carlson or marjorie taylor greene or alex jones or megyn kelly. they're all rats who see trump as a sinking ship and they're getting ready to jump in preparation for their next act. you do not have to fall for it.

Under his eye.

Sounds very “Judeo-Christian.”

23,957 days elapsed between December 17, 1903, the Wright brothers’ first powered flight, and humans landing on the Moon on July 20, 1969. 20,709 days have elapsed from July 20, 1969 to today. Honestly, it doesn't feel like we’re making great progress.

If they’re not kids, we should really let them vote.

In practice, what this means is that white people are kids until their 40’s, while brown people become adults at 12.

Now I wish the helicopters had collided midair directly over Kid Rock’s house.

Show me a person who uses the phrase “Judeo-Christian values,” and I’ll show someone who hates Jews.

If you’re not subscribed to Joe’s newsletter, you should be!

Good to see Noam Chomsky still getting out at his age

It is absolutely fucking WILD that he can do this with a straight face.

Money smuggling, you say?

“We asked 14 losers who said they dream of sucking Trump off through a glory hole every night what they think of Trump on troop deployment. All 14 of them said Trump was the living reincarnation of Alexander the Great, Genghis Kahn, and George Washington!!!”

How’d they get them to all fart at the same time?

This guy needs to watch more TV.

We already know how this plays out: Collins, Murkowski, and Tillis cast their typical cowardly, meaningless “no” votes. Rand Paul makes it interesting. That brain-damaged dipshit, @fetterman.senate.gov, fucks us.

Congrats to Venezuela for winning the WBC! and for sparing us Team USA’s joyless flag-humping.

You guys are laughing. Paul Skenes almost was in the Air Force, and you're laughing.

Bryce Harper disconsolately drinking a room-temp pint of raw milk in the clubhouse right now.

You hate to drop game 1, but I was proud of the way our guys fought and I still like our chances. - Mark DeRosa postgame

Fucking awesome. #wbc

If Iran invaded Manhattan, they’d probably argue that it wasn’t really an attack on America.

When Stephen Miller wants to boss Trump around, he sneaks into the Oval Office Study, calls the boss, and does a staccato Andrew Jackson impression.

It really sucks that Team USA won last night. DR vs VZ/Italy would have been way more fun. Also, fuck Mark DeRosa.

The human element is Geraldo Perdomo making a great take in a max-leverage spot during a huge baseball game. Erasing what he did isn’t human at all.

I'm debating my least favorite DR strike 3 call. The Perdomo one was obviously the worst because it ended the game but the one on Juan Soto in some ways was more egregious. Does that ump REALLY think he knows the zone better than Juan freaking Soto?

What an awful ending to a fantastic game. Hopefully we’ll have fully-automated ball-strike calls by next year.

This country would be far better off if it had instead written a $1 million check to 12,000 random citizens.

“I hope I can help the ballclub. You know, I just want to give it my best shot, and good lord-willing, things will work out. You know, you gotta play it one day at a time.”

Everything is so stupid.

This World Cup is going to be a disaster.

A rising Exxon lifts all boats.

It was actually a write-in from Bibi.

As long as you call the cannon fodder “special operators,” it’s okay.

If you’re roughly my age, it’s wild to reflect on the optimism for the future Americans felt when Obama was elected — young Americans spontaneously took to the streets to celebrate! — and contrast with what we face today. The falloff over the past 18 years is hard to process.

Every single professional journalist who uses the phrases “Department of War” or “Secretary of War” without scare quotes should be lined up on a public viewing stage and bopped on the head with a giant inflatable hammer that says DUMB DUMB on the handle and makes fart sounds.

I really expected time travel to be more fun than this.