Don't understand why I feel so bad today

I need to be something else

I have dying man syndrome

Help

me on the commune (in my imagination): i have written more poetry for everyone me on the commune (reality): please don't yell at me again. i'll work the butter churn

dear diary i am about to start killing

Taco Bell’s Canon in D

Thar's something fucked up is happenig

People who refer to themselves in the 3rd person in alt text should be banned from this app then rounded up and put in a zoo

They should add a feature where you can pick the only 50 people you get notifications from

So fuckeng sick of notifications

Such a good draft

delicious food is like damn.... this tastes lowkey good fr

Suboptimal shit is like yooooo... this could be optimal... except it's sub that... damn...

These fuckeng muppets dude

My bathtub doesn’t respect me

Crab Man should start a movie review blog called Tubi Honest

I khanate eggs press my truey motions

Wtf is glowing on

They fucken spookified my shit!

I like this deers they're spooky

What the fuck am I doing

they did unspeakable things on a grape

One simple trick to make horse year better than snake year is to do every single thing completely fuckeng different

You are the dairy queen Milk and cheese made from cows and sheep

Fully believe I post different depending on my avi

LAZY PEOPLE spend WAY too much money on these 7 things: food. shelter. love and friendship. having a good time. enjoying life. staying alive

There's rocks in my estómago

There are wolves surrounding me

Donuts are not for the faint of heart..

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!

And your question is... which side am I on?

The floor is an incredible place to be

That one homie who is sucking blood in the night

The vampiric homie

Fucking tyops

Holy fuck bro

My 10-year-old daughter Flulike Symptoms says existence is futile

Due 2: Woke

One must imagine Hillary just chillin' in Cedar Rapids

One must imagine Hilary Swank

Counterpoint

I was gonna name my first two kids Sweeney and Todd but then some dipshit came out with that musical and ruined my plan

Protagonists have main character syndrome

Crouching Chudler, Hidden Poogon

"keep Austin the way it is with jess staggering around with that gun" is the slogan now

When my internet friends are not online at the same time as me that is literally the same as oppression by the way so. Hope you're happy with yourselves 👍👍