Take it from someone without kids, THEY DO. ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Tottenham Hotspur FC *noun* 1. Increasingly competitive women's top flight team coached by Martin Ho. 2. Home to successful Academy boys and girls teams. 3. There's a men's team too.

I think I might give Match of the Day a swerve tonight..

Just posting this because I might not be able to get as much use out of it soon...

Maybe we're not going to win 5-4

Might mute "Eze", I feel like I'm only gonna get annoyed with skeets about him

I wasn't looking, but the commentator said something about Kudus "hobbling off." He's not injured is he?? 😳 #COYS

🎶 WE'RE GONNA WIN 5-4 🎶

It's gonna be a Spurs-on-Spurs competition for the Puskas

🎶 WE'RE GONNA WIN 4-3 🎶

OOOOOOIHHHHHHHUH YYYYYYYEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!

Are they singing "are you Tottenham in disguise?" That's annoying me more than the football, how can we be losing so badly to a team those chants don't even make sense??

I felt confident coming into this match. I knew I shouldn't, but that didn't dampen my spirits. It's a stupid game. #COYS

@positivespurs.coys.social I think I've found you your "positive spurs" half time take! bsky.app/profile/biso...

You heard it here first. Greens: the party for swingers.

This afternoon I predicted it would be days, not weeks or months, until we saw the first Labour MPs cross the floor to Green. Just hours later, we have a delightful aperitif in Lloyd! 🥳

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

@murderbastard.bsky.social may I request the ad is "released" as an pre-episode on podcast sites? If I don't subscribe to it soon I'll forget all about it.

Today is the day to repost this meme about International Men's Day, one of the most unironically wholesome memes that has ever been made. Shoutout to all my fellow champs, chiefs, and kings. ✊

I have signed up for this solely because the handle is MurderBastard. I never pretended to have a sophisticated mind.

Dancin' DJ in da house.

Two thoughts on this: 1. With a name like Enoch he never really stood a chance; 2. It *delights* me that the judge made it clear the decision was nothing to do with his gross views, but referred to Transition Year. Top trolling.

This is some SERIOUS nerd-on-nerd action, and I love it! That song's brilliant too.

As someone with a deep and profound love for mispronouncing words, this delights me.

Since I turned 40 I've been endlessly surprised by the middle-aged milestones no-one warned me about. Having to put reading glasses on to pluck an errant hair was a particular low. Today's was being (very respectfully) called Auntie by a stranger who I'm sure was older than me. When will it end?!

Once again, it's the day after Michael Rosen Day and I've woken up with a banging head, chocolate cake smeared on my walls, no memory of what happened last night and a ruddy great bear in my bedroom. When will I learn?

Fuck me, this is the epitome of privilege isn't it. www.yahoo.com/news/article... "That judge is so mean for not letting me off my 5th offence in 8 years, how am I supposed to cope now? I barely earn 5x the average annual salary, I can't afford taxis!"

Look I'm sure this is very serious and interesting (disclaimer: I haven't actually listened to it), but all I can think is what a great Santa Ian Hislop would make.

He would lose his shit if he learned about Panto. I once saw a Cinderella where the ugly sisters were called Squeezeit and Spanky*. *Might not be the actual names used, I can't remember, but it was something like that.

🧵 FAQ: Q: What even is this? This account tracks the live level of the urine tank on the International Space Station. Q: So it's, like, real? Live? Right now? Yes.

I've just watched The Thursday Murder Club film. Let's just quietly agree to forget that ever existed shall we? A bit like Liz Truss's premiership; it can just be one of those things that's so ridiculous, we're not sure if it was real or a dream.

London's latest Blue Plaque is a brilliant one. (It was put up at the Tesla dealership in Tottenham by campaigners)

I just heard an advert refer to "Black Friday season". This one day sale has officially gone too far.

@stmungos.bsky.social can I please send you a DM? I want to give you a heads up on something which may be important for one of your residences.

Wondering why no one likes your posts anymore, even among your friends? It's because @jay.bsky.team and team have decided to hide a huge amount of content from all of our feeds by default. Here's how to turn it off. First go to the hamburger menu in the upper left corner

OH MY GOD, EVERY TIME YOU THINK HIS EGO CAN'T GET ANY BIGGER! "I should've won the Nobel, I'm gonna make my friend make an even bigger and better and brainyier award, and when I win it Mr Nobel's gonna call me and apologise and beg me to take his stupid medal."

I've just had a filling replaced. Why does having a numb mouth make me want to bite myself so much? If I wasn't in public, I'd be chewing my own face off.

I'm not being funny, but Micky's is better, right? Son's is properly laid off to him and he's ready to run, whereas Micky's is bounced to him as part of a defensive move, he has to turn it into an attack. Then Son moves it so close to goal that it's hard to miss, whereas Micky shoots from distance.

🚨 Destiny Udogie was threatened with a gun in a late night incident in London last month. Police are investigating the threat as they arrested a 31 year old football agent. Spurs are supporting Udogie in this story.

It's remarkable that we're almost halfway through the CL league phase, and all 6 English teams are in the top 13 of the league. Three of them don't even play until tomorrow!

I hear Frank's half time team talk was playing this video #COYS youtube.com/shorts/Vfoki...

See, we haven't been underperforming recently, we've just been saving all our fun to use in one go! #COYS I'd love to know what Frank said to Micky yesterday, he's had a few big runs down the pitch. It's like he's decided that if the forwards aren't meshing he'll just do it himself.

I didn't realise studs up was a rule within itself, I thought it was an example of reckless or dangerous play. That sending is nonsense, there was no risk to the player or advantage gained. Ridiculous rule.

Things are better when you don't have someone telling you they're bad all the time

Just had the police at my door, one of my neighbours is missing. He has pronounced learning difficulties and is non-verbal, if you're in the Hither Green/Lewisham area please keep a lookout. If you see him they advise to call 101/999 rather than approach him, as communication may be difficult.

Eesh. On first watch I didn't think this was a big deal, but on repeat viewings and reading some of the comments it doesn't look good - especially from the player who started the match as captain. It's not the camaraderie that got us through last season. Frank's gonna have to lay the law down.

Just checking, are the PL saying they expect me to talk to family on two consecutive days now? Not one day of almost coming to blows and a second hiding in the pub? That can't be right. Have I misunderstood this? Would appreciate clarity sharpish. www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

@janetdaby.bsky.social why didn't you vote on this?