After fighting with it all week, I have successfully pushed Databricks into a locker. Please clap.

Sometimes I don't think we marvel enough about how we can just put bins out on the curb once a week and someone comes and just takes away all the gross stuff we don't want anymore. It's truly magical.

Wound up on Pinterest bc things were a touch too bleak over here. Anyway here's a sampling of what I discovered during my travels.

I'm a little scared to post this because I haven't yet scrolled the timeline to see what new atrocities may have taken place, but I wrote up the Ryan Weathers trade.

A puddle on Gov. Nicholls street reflects the LaLaurie mansion, New Orleans

🐍🐍🐍

At least seven armed and masked ICE/CBP bodyguards because a GS-15 had to take a piss. do you know how much of your taxpayer $ was just standing there waiting for Bovino to find his dick

They have no job other than to terrorize citizens and now murder them. It isn't a real job. Other departments already did the "job" they're supposedly doing. And they are purposefully choosing untrained violent people because this is the job! Abolish is median position. Has to be. It's a layup!

Niners fans "pranking" a Philly bar has this energy.

Pentz Homes will be doing a rolling food drive to support our struggling local businesses and help the families who are afraid to leave their homes. You can help in two ways! Shop at local immigrant-owned stores and donate the goods, or send us your funds and we will do the shopping for you.

Went running for the first time since before Thanksgiving and all I've eaten today is four cookies. Perhaps relatedly: I don't feel so good.

If you were me and you had unpacked my running sunglasses and put them away somewhere, where do you suppose you would have put them?

Help sports are causing me to make weird noises again

[unintelligible screaming]

FCS title game rn

I'm still surprised by how stressed I get watching games where I don't have a rooting interest

you’ve gotta see this one 🤯

I finally figured out my general distaste for Marina Mabrey. It's the way she oscillates between trash-talking bully and tantrum-throwing whiner. Constantly trying to play the tough guy (gender neutral) and the victim creates noxious levels of cognitive dissonance that I cannot abide.

Since when are we doing 77¢ Viagra ads during primetime?

Cut myself with a spoon. Like legitimately drew blood.

The most underrated part of the Eagles throwbacks is getting that font in the end zones.

Every time we have to chase my mom's cat away from the Christmas tree she hits this pose.

Yeah, semi charmed life was a weird choice, but they also could have played jumper, so....

Atticus Sappington v. Stone Harrington sounds like a bare knuckle boxing match from 1853, rather than the starting kickers in this year’s Orange Bowl.

Wait is Kermit from Mississippi? Is that where the swamp in the Rainbow Connection video is?

More like Lee (about to) Hunt (you down)

I ain't taking the screenshot. Mine is potato. Forever and always.

Happy New Year

Very confusing to reflect on 2025 and acknowledge that it was very good for me personally and absolutely horrific for humanity as a whole.

College Football is the best and dumbest (complimentary) sport.

Gonna take the wrong lesson from this and wish all my friends a happy new anus this year

"People are stealing money from kids and we can't keep letting them get away with it. Stealing money from kids is OUR job."

I have Derrick Henry on my team and I would like to tell my opponent in the title game, from the very bottom of my heart: sorry, not sorry.

Derrick Henry treating Carrington Valentine like mascots usually treat the kids, just shoved him out of the way

The phrase "hot knife through butter" was created to describe Derrick Henry.

A white man's skin should not be the same shade as that leather jacket.

Al Michaels sounds like he's half asleep on every play call because he's EIGHTY-ONE years old.

A fun game is to assume all the people they show sitting in a suite on NFL broadcasts are all sitting in the same suite and forced to make small talk with each other whenever they get up for more chicken fingers.

Mistletoe Murders is like if Kirkland brand Veronica Mars and a Hallmark Christmas movie had a baby. All of which is to say, it has my endorsement.

go griz go griz go griz

The fullcast 40 for 40 intro music rules because it makes me feel like I just landed the most epic triple axel of all time.

A Guy Ritchie produced Sherlock show? Would.

I just bought a mirror with an iridescent frame. I like some pretty garish stuff. And even I think these Seahawks uniforms are trash.

Fun fact -- the mansion I referenced in the intro of this piece was once owned by Nicholas Cage.

if you know anyone with an emu please let them know

the right attitude

The Royals went and had themselves a productive little weekend. I wrote it up for @fangraphs.com

Now THIS is gender equality in sports