"MONKE"

i laugh at the concept of a 'subscription car' then remember my old man rented a TV

(ice) cold medina

New Reform cabinet announced

Rogue catches me out nearly every time

POV you are coveted stick

Emerald Fennel sounds like something nigella raves about but you can only get it in one Maida Vale greengrocers for a fortnight a year

Tyson Fury 'quoting' chatGPT in his press conference 😬

mfw i see the president of the united states on television

Should be driverS in the plural, I know cos I was one of em.. 😏

they should really lean in, bunch of aunties wheeling bigs pots of dhal and fresh rotis onto the pitch, both teams having a right old feast

Obama: Aliens are real. I haven’t seen them personally, but I did inhabit one briefly via a form of extraterrestrial possession. The team of scientists that developed this technology was executed in front of me. Interviewer: Interesting. Moving on, what’s your favorite sweet treat?

cooking is such a fundamental life skill and should be taught in schools like basic literacy and numeracy

Roy the frog

R3 right on the zeitgeist of today's music discourse on here

Call the Wifemid

If Brian Emo was around today he'd make an album called 'music for scrolling', makes u think

Read thousands of definitions in the 700-page Roger’s Profanisaurus: Turtleshead Revisited — Viz’s biggest ever encyclopaedia of bad language (and a great table-leveller). A perfect gift for yourself or someone you vaguely like. Get it here: https://bit.ly/4pcoTaU #viz #comedy #rude #swear

Just switched on the Olympics to the name Heike Groesswang, evening might have already peaked

Boys can enjoy little treats too

Missing Froberg

Kinda glad I'm not on the same continent as these fucks, tru apex mammals

Just rode a soft wheel rig round sainos and that's only the SECOND time since xmas it's been dry enough to do that without peril, schlecht Wetter

Had a fascinating demo of bug intelligence this week - got an Anglepoise on the kitchen windowsill which regularly hosts spiders in the shade. The latest incumbent was spinning whilst I was at work, lashing the web to a bottle of washing up liquid that sits under the light..

Roses are red Cats have 9 lives

Obviously I'm wrestling with the question 'does becoming obscenely wealthy turn you into a nazi nonce or is being a nazi nonce a prerequisite for becoming obscenely wealthy?' Is Zizek in the files??

Message from mate saying USA vs Denmark ice hockey on iplayer rn

E N T E R T H E G A T E F O L D

damn i had no idea how serious tracy emin's health travails are, jesus

Have always loved JD’s Wolf Eyes/Manowar anecdote. So much so, it went into Electric Wizards. 🧙‍♂️⚡️ Here is is again. 🐺 👀 @reaktionbooks.bsky.social

look at this screaming cat I found on Instagram

Goddammit, I guess 8 years is a great run without a puncture but even the venerable Schwalbe Marathon has a breaking point

yoink, first kid in work with the meta raybans, i politely asked him to deactivate them, which he did with no further discussion

nonsense, you simply cannot rim the sky

fwiw, i know absolutely nothing about the computer and still managed to sidestep the UK verification malarkey in around 90 seconds

The men’s figure skating was primarily a museum of Jan Leeming’s hairdos

Hi, I'm Billie Piper, welcome to Jackass [marries Chris Evans and laurence fox]

doing 180 in a 110 zone while listening to Trooper, getting pulled over and panicking and telling the cop my name is Boysen D. Brightwhitesportscar and ending up on a TikTok page called “Craziest Billy-Club Beatings”

When I say I stand on business this what I mean.

i'll never forget the time he pulled off an officer and a gentleman in under two minutes

You never hear about anyone else of Bingen.

Interesting to see how many Japanese are killing the snow half pipe, they're producing astonishing child vert skaters too

buhdoing

every generation has a pair of skuzzy friends who think they're the first people to start a band that's just a distorted bass guitar and drums and god bless em for it

charging up my special meter so i can give u an unbelievably comforting hug

it's not what you think, they're using them to cover the smoke alarms so they can blaze it in their hotel rooms

[to the tune of Hava Nagila] vauxhall agila vauxhall agila vauxhall agila your grandma'a car

numerous teens described the crucifixion as 'washed' and went on to add 'it could never be me'