If capitalism is so great, why can't I buy a Super Soaker 50 anymore?

I can’t believe that we’re on the brink of nuking Iran because a smart Black man in a tan suit once made fun of a reality tv host.

And these two hate each other. Canon. Zoro cut up Wonder Woman's whip, and Wonder Woman hit Zoro's horse with her invisible jet. I can't believe they were seen together.

The world is looking at us with great unease.

Somebody is making a fortune on the war with inside information and it is grotesquely corrupt.

Post it in the bulletin board. You may never see it again!

Now do stock trading.

Can we please just have healthcare?

Just because the President deploys ICE agents to airports doesn’t change the facts: He’s in the Epstein Files. He started an unauthorized war he can’t end. Americans are struggling, and he’s failed to pass legislation, even though they control Congress & the White House. Time for accountability.

In the three weeks of March, my family's retirement accounts are down over 6%, representing more than double the next largest month-over-month loss, and significantly more than any single month gain...and we are almost exclusively invested in conservative target year funds. #ThanksTrump #DidIDoThat

OMG Afroman is my new favorite shit ever. Its amazing. Hes amazing. Its all amazing.

The Dow Jones is down 6% in a month. Is that a note for @AGPamBondi or @TheSleepingPresident?

If the government really is worried about Iranian sleeper cells, then it was probably a mistake to systematically reorient the majority of US counterterror resources toward arresting immigrant grandmothers and five-year-olds in bunny hats

Lo, behold what happens when one woman decides today is the day she’s DONE with the gaslighting.

I should have a say in who the leader of Iran is. See how dumb that sounds!? Exactly. www.nytimes.com/live/2026/03...

Is it octopus's garden or octopuses's garden? Don't get me wrong, count me in. Just trying to figure out whose garden I'm going to.

The promise of a beer and ballgame in the near future is doing a lot of emotional heavy lifting these days.

Today I learned the difference between Hot Wheels and Matchbox. It's like someone decoding the universe, but it's so simple and obvious, and it makes so much sense, but I'm mad I didn't know it already. SMH

Remind me, what is the federal crime when you cosplay a diplomat when you don't work for the federal government?

Sure Dawson's Creek was good and all, but Varsity Blues is an absolute masterpiece. Love you Mox.

Emerging from his viewing of the UNRELEASED Epstein case files at Justice Dept, Rep. Jamie Raskin (D-MD) says: "The Dept of Justice has been in a cover-up mode for months... trying to sweep the entire thing under the rug"

I know there are real problems in the world, but people who put "Dr." before their first name, in the first name field on an online webform that doesn't have to do with medicine, should be rounded up and launched into the sun.

😕

(📷) This is an ICE agent in Minneapolis spraying a prone, unarmed, helpless civilian in the face with chemical munitions. This is something one goes to jail for. Yes, even a federal agent. Those who say Trump has declared war on Minnesota—and now Maine—are *not* exaggerating.

Football is brought to you by TurboTax, the people who bribe Congress to make sure you have to pay them to file your taxes.

Another year has gone by and no one has made Jason Siegel's puppet Dracula movie. Hollywood is failing us.

Skate to where the puck will be, not where it is, is such a great analogy and also quite poetic.

“She was trying to turn around, and the ICE agent was in front of her car, and he pulled out a gun and put it right in — like, his midriff was on her bumper — and he reached across the hood of the car and shot her in the face like three, four times” www.mprnews.org/story/2026/0...

Eyewitnesses are reporting that ICE just murdered a woman—a US Citizen—in cold blood in Minneapolis.

This is at least the third time I can remember where ICE accused someone of "weaponizing" their car against them, and they were lying the other two times

Most people probably don't have any context for understanding how gooseshit crazy this post is, but imagine 57 giraffes high on PCP 69ing on a pleasure cruise off Staten Island during a battle of the bands featuring six mariachi troupes playing simultaneously and you have an idea

Just watched a lady write a check at the grocery store and I honestly have no idea what year it is.

The Truth about Venezuela.

The president of Venezuela must be held legally accountable for his crimes, which the Supreme Court forbids to happen for the president of the US, who recently pardoned the president of Honduras for similar crimes.

CARTOON OF THE DAY 🇺🇸

I'm 100% for protecting native species, and we can all also agree that geese are terrible. Just the worst.

Julie has been covering this longer than most. The DOJ is not following the law. #TrumpEpsteinCoverUp

Sick to death of people claiming Die Hard isn’t a movie. There are several clues that it definitely is: It’s 130 minutes long and full of actors It has a beginning a middle and an end It has a soundtrack The aspect ratio is consistent of other movies of the era

Could you imagine being a person who changed his name three times then wrote a totally made up story about his blue collar family background while being funded by billionaires calling someone else fake? Me neither. But if I could I'd probably also wear eye liner.

Hi Pam. Just a quick reminder that Nixon didn’t go to prison - but his AG did. Happy holidays.

One day something will happen — a wedding, a graduation, a job promotion, Jake Paul getting knocked out, Andrew Tate getting knocked out the next day — and you’ll want the right outfit to celebrate. Buy that special outfit now, so you’re ready when that next unexpected moment arrives.

I absolutely fucking hate it when Rand Paul is right about anything. Darkest timeline.

I wonder what the tax implication is for service members. Bonuses are taxable. But is housing allowance? I wonder if he's just costing them more money.

What's the Yiddish word for the moment you change from believing you could survive the zombie apocalypse to not wanting to survive the zombie apocalypse?

Rob Reiner: I'm going to make a coming of age drama, a fantasy adventure story, a romantic comedy, a psychological horror and then a courtroom drama. Us: Across your entire career? Reiner: In a 6 year period. Us: That sounds- Reiner: -Each one will be arguably the best movie in that genre.

Ahmed al Ahmed, the man who tackled one of the Bondi killers, became an Australian citizen 3 years ago. His deed was "his way of conveying his gratitude for staying in Australia, for being granted citizenship." He took 5 bullets, and fears he'll lose his left arm. www.smh.com.au/national/nsw...

Muppets Christmas Carol is the best Christmas movie bc it includes a song with the lyrics, "your future is a horror story written by your crimes" & nothing says Christmas cheer more than that. Also Michael Caine deserved all the awards for that performance. Perfection. No notes.