Damnit, I was all set to commit regicide for my spring act of praxis and she just.... died

In retrospect, I shouldn't have given the junkyard dog a piece of bologna through the fence, but calling me a faggot for doing so was uncalled for and concluding by telling the two women I was with "have fun sucking his dick" was utterly perplexing. 3/10

Electric fucking washboard

Not beating the "Bluesky is 38 year olds" allegations

ngl the updated branding for @bsky.app is bold

They actually fucking did it.

🆗 but I had a right winger adamantly insist that J.G. Ballard solely wrote about his secret erotic fantasies based on a half remembered Wikipedia synopsis of Crash.

ME: the Pokemon games are made for children, so my romhack is, heh, a little more mature FRIEND: what the hell, the Pokemon center charges a copay now? ME: and you'd better check if that nurse is in your Pokesurance network

Man what you mean I see this guy commenting every day and his opinions are *rotten*

this really is what it’s like

Actually maybe I hate the dispensary that always asks why my preferred name in their system is slub and doesn't match my govt ID more.

Local deli style dispo budtender had a hat that read "WEED x REAL ESTATE" and I've never hated cannabis culture more.

I need the Um Jammer Panties.

Uncool: 200+ emails from steam market Cool:

Its naan-negotiable! Naan-stop!

Is it a dick move to DM a local print shop who supports a lot of progressive causes about the fact that they ship in uline boxes?

Almost lost amidst the national headlines.

Touhou Banksy is a phenomenal username

Today's impulse haul

Grown up decor

Truly a perfect news alert

Happy International Women's Day to all Honda Fit owners

If I did believe in a creator, I'd believe art was giving back to it/her/them/him for your creation.

Just spent $24 on a mid mimosa and the worst avocado toast I've ever had. What I spent on tip would have been better spent on a bullet for my brain for eating at a New American Restaurant.

Nah bro I was doing this shit at age 8, ur brain is just rotten from online.

The alternate names did end up being used in Pac-Man Arrangement (a game that I played constantly on PS2 Namco Museum)

We're smokin' that Argentinian himejoshi catgirl shit out of a puma bone pipe at an altitude of 12,600 feet, concurrent with the third Dynasty of Ur, you stupid shit.

Finally saw Hamilton. Among many thoughts: King George is 100% the most fun part and it isn't even close.

Man I hate organizations following out of nowhere. Also not a dem!!!

They found all that lead in protein powders so now its a mandatory part of the American diet.

26 Last Seed (Day 11) Crassius Curio agreed to be my sponsor, but he wants me to be his discord kitten. 26 Last Seed (Day 11) I became Crassius Curio's discord kitten and he is now my sponsor in House Hlaalu.

S2G this is the year I buy a tentacle pot... 🤞🤞🤞

So Myst is dead fucking simple after you figure out the tower rotation puzzle huh? Filtered by a single puzzle for 33 years and cleared in one evening.

Hot pot in America tonight. No real reason.

scrawny 18-year-old about to fall out of an army helicopter over tehran: this is so epic. this is totally sigma, right babe? AI e-girl operated by a balding intelligence officer in virginia: that's right baby, Iran is totally cringe

The secret to not splashing when you pee standing up is to start in a deep squat and slowly straighten up after you lock the stream in, like one of those buses letting someone with mobility issues on

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “Goodbye, Galaxy!” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯 Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit. 5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Dopefish in the Well of Wishes My buddy Lindsey pacing: the Gnosticene Council is lying to us

Literally me getting home inspection scheduled and insurance figured out. Please clap

congratulations on immediately earning my new subscription

Yo this is just me tho, is liking grape nuts a hipster opinion?

Finished Rise of the Golden Idol DLC this weekend and, though it didn't change rankings, that 4th DLC might be the best thing they've done. Very Obra Dinn. I wasn't sure before but I kinda want a sequel now (with the original art style). Next up - idk, Myst??

Ya I'm an alpha male. A single piece of paperwork stops me dead in my tracks.

Bound By Desire Originally printed in Big Nose Rag, Issue #1 || @bignoserag.bsky.social [comic in thread]

Is it really a crisis if you’re whole life has been mid

It's really hard to take photos of the backs of your knees.

“I used to be able to emulate Pokemon games. I still can, but I used to too”

Oh noooo I would hate it if this happened here. It *has* been enlightening just how many folks aren't aware of what flock is doing when I discuss this with friends and family, and reactions are uniformly negative.

its really fucked up that garfield repeatedly tries to send nermal to abu dhabi given that in the UAE he would likely be tried and imprisoned for his homosexuality