Ken Bruce is playing Sledgehammer by Peter Gabriel and for years I believed the lyric "Show for me, I will show for you" to be "Chauffeur me, I will chauffeur you" thinking "Ah that's nice, they're going to take it in turns to drive each other around"

Joked to a much-younger friend today about my husband having "more holidays than Judith Chalmers" and had to explain who Judith Chalmers was, what Wish You Were Here? was, and more broadly, how holidays used to be chosen and booked pre-internet 😂 youtu.be/LpJja7A-NtY?...

Just found myself standing in Liberty wailing at an assistant – with quiet, frenzied desperation – "You had some lovely mugs, HERE, where are the lovely mugs that were HERE?" and that's my Miranda Priestley "Where's that piece of paper I had in my hand last week?" moment for the day done with.

"Ooh no that's a bit new for me" says a contestant on Popmaster, to Ken Bruce's audible disdain, unable to identify Reach by S Club 7, from...2000.

One of my clients, always immaculate in Savile Row tailoring, loves taking the piss out of how I dress. Zingers include: – Did you run here? – What time is your tennis match? – This is restrained for you, usually you dress like Christmas And then yesterday, – Are you on your way to repair something?

Had lunch in a gorgeous restaurant in Leeds today, and as I left and stopped to take a photo the manager (possibly owner) stuck his head out the door and I thought, Oh, he's going to say he's recognised me, or thank me for coming, but no, I had walked out without paying. A big, humbling WHOOPS.

JD Vance killing the Pope is the new Liz Truss killing Queen Elizabeth II

This is so, so good, and expresses in much greater depth and detail what I've been saying a lot recently which is that the best thing those of us who give a damn can do to improve the world right now is to be abundantly, excessively, constantly kind to others www.theguardian.com/commentisfre...

It's so, so, SO much simpler to stay and pay your taxes. If you choose a life of constantly moving around the world in pursuit of paying the least tax possible, then excuse me if I don't shed a tear over you having to give up your membership of Annabel's on.ft.com/3GgnZcc via @financialtimes.com

Chef Guillermo Bitanga is bringing his refined French-Filipino cuisine to Pied à Terre's Kitchen Table for just eight services, from 29th April to 3rd May. With only eight seats at each service, just 64 diners will get to experience Guillermo's menu, so book now! 🇵🇭🇫🇷 eepurl.com/jcsFn6

#Sebastian is a terrific film, raw & clever & powerful & challenging & uncomfortable & REAL and just brilliantly written and acted – Ruaridh Mollica is extraordinary in the lead, and I squealed at Stella Gonet's all-too-brief appearance. Baffled it's not on wider release; had to hunt it down!

Just walked through Leicester Square for the first time since the busking ban came into force and my God, it's like a totally different place! Still teeming with people but it's a) peaceful and b) you can actually move freely around rather than having to navigate round static crowds. Amazing!

It's dawned on me why Trump is blaming Zelensky: he thought he could negotiate with Putin, and realising that he can't, is willing to sacrifice Ukraine to 'end' the war so he can take credit for that. Failing on all fronts, Trump needs any 'win' he can get, at any cost. www.bbc.com/news/article...

Meanwhile, back in earth, MacKenzie Scott quietly goes about giving away $19 billion.

Sky News being unintentionally honest.

The environmental impact is the single biggest reason why, as far as I possibly can, I'm avoiding using AI. I'm not scared of it, I'm not worried about it taking my job (yet...) I just don't want to fuel - literally - the destruction of the planet for the sake of a search or generating a silly image

Israel military razed Gaza perimeter land to create ‘kill zone’, soldiers say

‘Big AI consumes so much energy that every time you generate a six-fingered portrait of Anne Frank or a scene from the Vietnam war in the style of Studio Ghibli, you might as well just kill a polar bear with a crossbow.’ www.irishexaminer.com/lifestyle-co...

The IDF murdered 15 paramedics in cold blood and buried them in shallow graves, then lied and lied about it until video evidence emerged proving their crimes. How, @teamlabouruk.bsky.social, can Keir Starmer continue to allow UK arms sales to Israel in light of this? www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Is there any nicer feeling than waking up early for a Sunday, making yourself tea and breakfast, taking it back to bed, eating your breakfast, then falling back to sleep for an hour and waking up STILL early for a Sunday, and you've already had your breakfast? ✨BLISS✨

I love being gay; last night I posted on my Instagram stories about seeing a bad musical (Clueless – seriously, don't bother) and this morning my DMs are like someone's died, filled with condolences, words of reassurance, recommendations for better musicals...The Gays have got my back.

‘What was their crime?’ Families tell of shock over IDF killing of Gaza paramedics

Breaking now: Ministry of Economics reporting the tariffs have not caused significant changes to our trading volumes

I have tariffed the penguins that are on Heard Island and which you were probably assuming did not export goods forgive me they were taking advantage of us so cunning and so cold

Yaaaass 🥳 Tesla suffers worst quarter since 2022 as deliveries tumble - on.ft.com/3FORHVn via @financialtimes.com

Energy bills up 6.4% — while network providers raked in £4 billion in “excess” profits over four years. Water bills up 26% — while firms paid £78 billion in dividends since privatisation & racked up £64 billion in debt. End this scam. Bring water & energy into public ownership.

Today I told a friend who said he "only reads the Mail online for the showbiz news" that that was "like going to a Nazi rally for the sandwiches" and I'm quite proud of that one

When I told my mother I was gay she said, “Well I expect you’ll get AIDS and die then.” She didn’t mean it cruelly. In 1985 that was normal. She became an outstanding LGBTQ ally, marching at Pride and wearing a red ribbon every day. Love to all mothers who love and support their gay children.

Oh no, I can't believe Trump 'buying' one didn't prevent this!

I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes

Bought a pair of jeans this morning in a 34" waist for the first time in about fifteen years, so if anyone wants to ask me for anything – favours, a loan, forgiveness – today is your day, knock yourself out 👖

Busy woman! BBC News - Reeves defends taking free Sabrina Carpenter tickets www.bbc.com/news/article...

“The world has changed” says Chancellor on #bbclaurak. Yes it has - so why stick to outdated counterproductive austerity agenda & arbitrary fiscal rules? You can’t cut your way to growth. Taxes on extreme wealth of super rich would be fairer & more effective than more cuts @patmillsuk.bsky.social

"Time was, someone would care if your stew contained a lump of hard plastic" – @gracedent.bsky.social reviews Bar Valette, who probably wish she hadn't, for @theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/food/2025/ma...

Thousands protest in Israel over ‘attack on democracy’ by Netanyahu

Leopard/face: Fascinating and thoughtful piece in @financialtimes.com on why businesspeople back Trump, and their 'touching naivety' in doing so - on.ft.com/4hnoPAG

Me reading Æsop's latest email about what I'm reasonably sure is just a new body wash, but is described in terms more usually reserved for great leaps forward in medical science, or second comings:

shitshow

It's a very niche skill I'll grant you but I was shopping with a friend in Ralph Lauren yesterday and he was looking at a shirt and said, "I can't seem to find the pricetag" and I looked at it and said "That'll be about £180" – and it was £179. I know my Polo! 🏇🏼

Whistleblower’s exposé of the cult of Mark Zuckerberg reveals peril of power-crazy tech bros | John Naughton

Not Toast?

I urge you to find any way you can to read this. I mean, just go out and buy a hard copy of the FT. This article alone justifies the price. It is seminal.

“The FT Weekend Magazine is the home of quality longform writing at the FT” @kayewiggins.ft.com on.ft.com/4is3jM4

"I got you a battered sausage. It's like an olive branch, but much tastier." — outstanding scriptwriting from #EastEnders tonight, which has really taken Corrie's comedy crown

London’s longest-standing Michelin-starred restaurant – and my newest client! – Pied à Terre has welcomed a new head chef, Alberto Cavaliere. Press release: eepurl.com/i_L366

I don’t blame the individual novelists here - publishers quite often push titles and covers on authors - but there is something unsettling about the fact that, collected together, these covers make Auschwitz sound like a hipster neighbourhood with cool coffee shops and a Waitrose

The Nigel Farage v Rupert Lowe prize fight is getting ugly. Has Reform reached its breaking point? | Marina Hyde

"Can you imagine Canada stooping so low as to use ELECTRICITY, that so affects the life of innocent people, as a bargaining chip and threat?" says man who sentences Ukrainians to death by cutting off military aid & intelligence-sharing as a bargaining chip and threat www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/cl...

"Maybe there is such a thing as bad publicity" – hilarious, insightful brilliance from @financialtimes.com Alphaville Tesla’s crash back towards reality, in several charts - on.ft.com/4hsfZS1