Eating plain mirepoix with a spoon

Brb, putting a furry sticker on the outside of the plane as I board, being accosted by the crew, denying everything, and getting put on the no-fly list

There was a goose on the field at Wrigley, they played on

Watching baseball @jonbois.bsky.social

I will die kicking and screaming before learning my lesson

I have to pee so bad, but I’m trapped on the plane :(

I have lots of thoughts on Montgomery. Firstly, the airport has 6 gates, but still good local beer

My cousin Shawn took weed to impress a girl when we were teenagers and his asshole & penis switched places. All the doctors at the (real) Pitt threw up when they saw it. Be my guest and Get “high” if you want this to happen to you

Staying indoors today (marijuana berzerker day) for my safety. Suggest you do the same.

I’m choosing to believe that it has a really long power cable that stays plugged in, rather than a really good battery.

Being good at a thing and being good at pretending to do a thing are different skills; anyways, wish me luck for tomorrow when I have to pretend to teach statistics for this job interview

Do they not have sidewalks in Montgomery??? Or am I just in a fucked up part of town?

I didn’t know Atlanta had it like this …

deer butt

sapiosexuals be like uhnghgh i'm having an Equation.

made gumbo, it’s incredible

I freaking LOVE daffodils, and they are all over my neighborhood

Gonna restart saying my rosary every night, praying that Vance gets excommunicated

It’s such a beautiful morning here in Syracuse—the sun is painting the clouds, the dew is glistening, the birds are singing. Being alive freaking Rocks!!!

(transferring to Arthur’s school from Arthur) so what the fuck are you guys

L-manifolds are geometryslop, completely space-mogged by W-varieties

Leaked Whitehouse blockade plans

i love websites especially when they’re designed for you to enjoy being on them

The main Iranian spokesperson dude is Sephiroth Posting again fwiw. I will say they are far more lyrical than Trump when they do this. Probably because they’re all PhDs

The Pope should excommunicate JD Vance

She Xi on my Jin ‘til I ping

She Ay on my to ‘til I llah

She Pope on my Le ‘til I o

She J on my D ‘til I Vance

Popes have been finger wagging the US indirectly for 50 years, culminating in Francis, but neither he nor his predecessors could go hard like this on America because it would be seen by prots as Papist Meddling. An American Pope can, and we got one none too soon.

I play one card face down and end my post

the internet isn't "where it's happening" anymore. it's happening at the library now

Just saw a flock of starlings, led by a robin, poking around in the grass together. Spring is Back!

Every credulous buffoon in Tech Journalism:

Only YOU can Make Minnesota Bigger!! Join and support the movement via shop.curlworks.net

Those Artemis II astronauts are missing the opportunity of a lifetime if they aren’t up there blasting Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’!!!

Finessed

me when i have to do anything

China is going to the moon, and they’re gonna build Moon China, with all things Chinese, and all things Moon; Moon Sun Tzu, Moon szechuan peppercorns, Moon huluisi, Moon high speed rail, Moon lunar new year, Moon Belt and Road Initiative, etc.

My least woke trait: I can't fucking remember anything on earth

i neeed to spread star foxs booty cheeks you guys

Parents: we are on our way to Split, Croatia! Me: you’re doing WHAT to Croatia??? Hasn’t Yugoslavia been balkanized enough???????

Dune deer

Based newspaper at the communist bar yesterday