"My husband complains about the cold," the man said. "Can you teach me a spell to keep him warm?" "I can teach you to bind hair into a net to catch heat," the wizard said, "using arcane counting and a pair of fine wands." After a while, the man said "Isn't this knitting?" "This, too, it's magic."

Today in technology or magic: Coworker: Can you help me with $machine? Its giving me $error. Me: Huh. I haven't seen it do that before. But let me poke at it. Sometime later and lots of poking.... Me: Well its fixed, I think, but I haven't a clue how I fixed it nor why you got that error...

No cheating: quote skeet with the most recent picture of your pet

Welcome, all, to the Year of the Curious Squid.

I choose to take this as a positive omen. (As named and drawn by Paul Kidby, illustrator of Discworld.)

Hell of a thing to put next to a statue of Joan of Arc. (h/t David Pilling)

I am in my Fortress of Voiditude. Give noms.

It was peaceful until the cat nation attacked

Fuck it. Let’s run a give away. This dice box can be yours if you -follow me -repost If you are live in Canada let me know and you get 3 entries. I got shipping. Giveaway ends on Sunday March 9th! Good luck!

KM3NeT xkcd.com/3053

"Like all empires, this one rested on a foundation of lies." #Oathbreakers, out from @harpercollins.bsky.social on 12/10. The story of how Charlemagne's grandsons fought a brutal civil war and shattered the Frankish Empire. SIGNED COPY GIVEAWAY. Repost to enter. First drawing 7 pm CST USA. /1

OUT TODAY. "Chain Reactions looks at some fascinating, often-forgotten stories. From glass to penny stocks; from something to be feared to a powerful source of energy, this history explores the scientific narrative of this unique element, but also shines a light on its cultural and social impact."

This threatens national security on a scale that Al Qaeda never dreamed of.

Search your camera roll for “hell”

@benwolfevision.bsky.social new project for you and @ankosov.bsky.social ?

There was only one bed. The farmer put his sack of grain down. "I think we're in the wrong story." "Who worried about crossing a river?" the fox said. "Julius Caesar," said the hen. "What?" said both farmer and fox. "Never mind. Lets just work out how we all can get some sleep." #MicroFiction

Bluesky now has over 10 million users, and I was #71,761! Lurking from nearly the beginning

"You will never be this photogenic"

Gadget wishes everyone a lovely Friday (the 13th)

Unpopular opinion, but I dislike Patriot Day September 11 has nothing to do with patriotism. No first responders were thinking "oh wow I love my country" as they rushed in to the towers to try to save people A day of remembrance & service, absolutely But lose me with a false veneer of patriotism

The cats were getting under foot so I put out some traps.

Interest check: would anyone take me up on it if I offered up a handful of cheap editing slots, like 10 for $40, first come first served? I really want us to get the new boosters but $400 just isn’t doable right now

A recent New Scientist cartoon.

The knight's lance was broken, his armour split, his blood pooling under him. "You failed," the dragon sneered. "There'll be no tales teaching children dragons can be slain." "But there will be stories teaching them to fight regardless." "Because you failed?" "Because I tried." #MicroFiction

It’s really is super covidy out there, in case you haven’t heard! I just returned from a trip and seeing that virtually no one else was masking in the airport or on the plane (though many were coughing!!) felt like spending the day out in a heavy downpour and being the only one carrying an umbrella

It is a truth universally acknowledged (by cats at least), that a newly emptied space must be in want of a kitty

My cat woke up, did a big stretch, and yawned. Then she hiccoughed, turned into a small dragon, and coughed up a fireball. "!!!" I said. "What?" She shrugged back into cat form. "You're a shape shifter?" "All cats are. There's just never any reason to not be a cat." #MicroFiction

@bskyttrpg.bsky.social stats

"Yes," the Fairy king said, "the stars in our sky are the same as yours. Our realm parallels your world, not any others." "Then, graceful majesty," the astronomer said, "I ask permission to build an observatory in your realm." "Why?" "It is hard to see past our own lights." "Ah." #MicroFiction

@bskyttrpg.bsky.social stats

@bskyttrpg.bsky.social reroll

@bskyttrpg.bsky.social stats

"We were the first companion," the dog said, "the first ally and friend." "Well done you," the cat said. "After us, the humans befriended cows, sheep, goats, and pigs." "Humans domesticated so many animals." "And you." "Us?" the cat said. "We only domesticated one. Humans." #MicroFiction

SCIENCE CAT (my latest cartoon for New Scientist)

ChatGPT already has “Ph.D.-level intelligence,” in that once you remove it from its extremely narrow field of expertise (assembling words into credible-sounding passages) it is wildly out of its depth, but people vastly overestimate its authority because they don’t understand what “intelligence” is.

The Crows Who Watch the Dawn by the Stones Happy solstice everyone!! Go make friends with your nearest crow 🐦‍⬛

Tea hermit. 🫖🦀 #bskyart #art

Stop, drop and meow

Henson's Creature Shop knocked it out of the park with this one.

For International Tea Day, my Green Tea Chemistry print. 🧪🐡This linocut illustrates a tea pot, 2 cups of tea and a tea plant (Camellia sinensis) on a tray, and in the steam, you can see some of the organic chemicals found in green tea. Up to 27% of the composition of green tea can be a member of 🧵1/

The cat design was created by Vera Zvereva, art director at Depot, using her own cat Brunhilde as inspiration. Milgrad Milk, Bryansk Dairy

Tolkien: but when i say everyone's favorite fantasy writer Tolkien: i mean terry practchett GRR Martin: oh yeah that's fair CS Lewis: yeah fair Peter S Beagle: fair Hans Christian Andersen: yes yes of course L Frank Baum: that's fair

The black hole has a blep

"Faster than light?" "Anything can be achieved," the alien's translation device said, "by balancing the four fundamental chkoi." "You mean gravity, electromagnetism, and the nuclear forces?" "No, the fundamental chkoi." "What are they?" "Spite, tiredness, hope, and 'fuck it'." #MicroFiction

HALP!! Im being squashed/sat on - Goblin It’s kitten Season! We have an excessive number at www.whiskerstailsandferals.org You want one?? Applications at the website, adoption events every Saturday, I can deliver it in a SF Bay Area! @funranium.bsky.social

GAME ON... soon. April 27th! I'm going to spend a weekend playing random games as chosen by the Wheel of Morality to help raise money for @translifeline.bsky.social and bring a little chaos on Twitch. Check out my "about" tab on Twitch for more: www.twitch.tv/blarkytopia/...

Physics vs. Magic xkcd.com/2904

On the last day of my lab’s internal audit (in preparation for the external one) and I feel this so much.