"I SAW A BIRD"

Smudge shows off his mastery of the splooting form

"Stop typing, human. It is time to be my couch."

The human may have turned on Bird TV for Saja

"Everyone knows that eating boot laces provides your body essential fibers and aglets"

Today in "We Are Absolutely NOT Plotting Something Nefarious, Move Along, Human"

Just before the chaos

"'Insouciant'? I don't even know what that word means! No, seriously, I'm a cat and also I've only been alive less than a year, so many of your human words are beyond me, can you tell me what it means, please"

Sugar is here to provide the most annoyed of mlems

Smudge has doubts about whatever the hell it is you are about to do

Saja has spotted the birds in the bushes outside and wants to go hug them with his teeth

When you dare the dog to show up in the human's bedroom for an ass-kicking, and she shows up

Smudge wishes you a happy 2026 and also wants you to cover him with that comforter you're about to put on the bed because he likes him a cozy enclosed space

When you have a super cool secret hangout but then your STUPID YOUNGER BROTHER finds it and RUINS IT FOREVER

"Santa WAS HERE?!?!"

Sometimes they just pose. For no reason!

"Yes, the human was sitting in this seat mere seconds before I claimed it, if he wanted to keep it, he should have stayed in it."

It's over, Saja! Smudge has the high ground!

Saja thought he would surprise a snoozing Spice with a friendly pounce. It did not go as he expected. (PS: They are both fine now)

Sugar wishes to know whomst has disturbed her slumber (it was Saja)

Saja denies he is a real chaos demon and lies in wait to ambush all those who would say otherwise

This just in: for the first time, Saja has discovered the catnip toys.

Have you ever seen a kitten more embarrassed to be seen with his human, no, no you have not

"Damn it, she KNOWS the top bunk is mine! This aggression will not stand, man!"

THE ETERNAL STRUGGLE OF BROTHER AGAINST BROTHER

"When I woke this up this afternoon I could tell that a couple of very important things of mine were missing. And when I find out who took them... I SHALL HAVE MY VENGEANCE." (Get your pets fixed, folks)

Happy Gotcha Day to Sugar and Spice, who were adopted ten years ago today. Their human gives an appreciation of them (complete with video of the two of them tusslin' as kittens) on his personal site: whatever.scalzi.com/2025/11/01/a...

NEWS FLASH: We have achieved the rare and coveted Cat Tree Triple Decker

Saja in the morning glow.

Give us this day our daily mlem

"Only this thin plane of glass keeps you from being smacked SO HARD"

Hello, Bluesky, it is time for your recommended daily allowance of Void Loaf

Spice wishes to inform you that she has chosen this yarn octopus as her new favorite toy. Please alert the media.

Saja discovers that the wide-angle lens is not the best one for portraits

Saja contemplates birds, Smudge contemplates murder

"Oh, the human is back, let me yawn in an aggressively unconcerned manner to show my lack of interest."

Mere seconds before what is now known as The Great Kitten Smackenation (The kitten is fine) (Sugar is annoyed but also fine)

Is Spice judging you? Yes. Did you do something for which you deserve to be judged? Oh, probably.

Shenanigans? Shenanigans!

Update: The newest Scamperbeast has an official name. Meet Saja! whatever.scalzi.com/2025/09/02/s...

There's important and exciting news today: There's a new official Scamperbeast in the world! whatever.scalzi.com/2025/09/01/k...

Step One of Smudge's master plan to eat all the treats was accomplished: He had infiltrated the pantry. However, Step Two - grow opposable thumbs - was taking longer than anticipated.

The foster kittens know how to pose.

THIS JUST IN: The calico foster kitten says hello

The humans are fostering a trio of kittens, which makes them Temporary Scamperbeasts. Here they are. More details about them (and also how you could adopt one!) here: whatever.scalzi.com/2025/08/21/p...

Smudge has questions.

Spice acknowledges the return of the human after a trip without feeling the need to be impressed by the fact.

"Whatever happened, we were here the entire time, both of us, you can't prove otherwise, so there."

Smudge, plotting the Great Fish Stick Heist of 2025

Smudge caught in the middle of a head shake