I hope someone's mixing up a mozzarella milkshake!

A Very Lovable Manager (1992): A boyfriend with a gullible past doesn't feel the spirit of Christmas, until a chocolate-covered cop shows up.

A Selfish Christmas (1988): An irreverent vampire is shown the error of his ways by the Ghost of Christmas Distrustful, the Ghost of Christmas Elderly, and the Ghost of Christmas Ruined.

The Best VHS Tape Ever (2015): Street urchins try to play the organ for Mickey Mouse. What could go wrong? Leave it to a band of talking mice to set up their friends with the manger!

One Drunk Christmas (1982): A stop-motion drama remake of A Dog Named Ebenezer Scrooge (1956)

Pumpkin Spice Moron

I am confident I have significantly more expertise in military standards and the “warrior ethos” than Pete Hegeseth does and my credentials are I have watched A Few Good Men one time

Oh snap

Waitress: how do you take your coffee Me, A Bluesky Idiot: with my hand

"Whoever forbids Antifa, wants fascism! Make Antifa Great Again!" - Bayern Munich fans on Friday, right behind the goal, so guaranteed to be in the broadcast worldwide.

:waves in Christian: White Christian nationalism is about setting up a kingdom of one “superior”race in this world. Jesus said His kingdom is not of this world, pride is a sin, and the kingdom of heaven is made up of every tribe and tongue and nation. White Christian nationalism is anti-christ.

Evergreen.

Emancipation, the new fragrance from Calvin Klein

Political Commentary Bot Is Undefeated, cont’d.

Pumpkin Spice Air Power

Pumpkin Spice Knight Errantry

Pumpkin Spice Vladimir Ilich Lenin

Pumpkin Spice Edward G. Robinson

NT Scholars Conspiracy Nuts 🤝 Attributing everything to a mysterious “Q” who’s never been proven to really exist 🤝 Jean-Luc Picard James Bond

My department is not going to be happy when they find out I have to spend their money on necromancy

My theory is that it was actually the rapture and Amelia Earhart happened to be the only one who was worthy

Pumpkin Spice Channel

Yf you are walkinge arounde and you see i) a squirrel or ii) a crowe or iii) a catte, you muste saye "hey buddy" these are the rules

Pumpkin Spice Capitalism

Showing up at the game wearing a jersey that says “SPORTS” Waving a pennant that says “ALL TEAMS MATTER“

Hi Internet! I'm Drew and THIS IS MY FACE. If this GIF has ever brought you joy in the past, I humbly ask you to consider making a donation to the National MS Society. It would mean a lot to me and to those I know affected by the disease! Donate at blinkingguy.com

Cubs win the '25 World Series*, thus closing up the gate to Hellmouth accidentally opened in '16. Grassroots momentum swells-- strikes, slowdowns-- so the cowards stop deploying badness. We take Senate & House in '26, impeach everyone related to the mafia org->onwards. *hey, we're IN the playoffs

Quoth the raven, “Oh, bother!” —Edgar Allan Pooh

Morning walk

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Pumpkin Spice Refried Beans

St in the story?

A mandate in the mandatory!

Elements in the elementary

You know, like how there’s Birds in the aviary Cream in the creamery Friars in the friary Briefs in the breviary Apes in the apiary Commies in the commissary Secrets in the secretary Death in the diary

God gives his weirdest battles to his wackiest warriors

Guy who is so Originalist he believes the constitution does not apply to Congress, because the original says Congrefs

Wolves in sheep’s clothing. Dry springs and mists of vapor Whitewashed tombs Accursed children of Balaam Vomit eating dogs Those preaching foolish trad-masculine theology, oh that they would go ahead and emasculate themselves!

TIRED: "They're not real christians." WIRED: "They're heretics and apostates." INSPIRED: "They're what the Bible describes as 'the spirit of antichrist' (1 John 4:1-12)."

We regret to inform everybody that, due to a clerical error, we have become the party of socalism, which means everything will become southern California. We totally, like, regret the inconvenience, dudes. Our bad.

Why does my To-Do List app for today say “Build an ark for two of every land animal”?

Allegedly they wouldn’t “have to vacuum so much” if I stopped “being so dramatic” when they are “just trying to brush me” which all sounds fake. I choose neither

The Hundred Years’ War is false advertising Yes I get “the 116 Years’ War” isn’t as catchy and everyone took some time off to die of a plague or two BUT STILL CMON

Apparently a guy was being obnoxious in my middle-schooler's class the other day and one of the kids turned to him and said "You've got AI face".

Apple Cinnamon Ambrose would like to have a few words

Mary Pickford clears the train platform with a sneeze in DADDY LONG LEGS (1919), one of the few contemporary cinematic references to the influenza epidemic.

Pumpkin Spice Supreme Court