I see you sitting alone and admire you for avoiding people.

christmas almost here but i haven’t heard anyone playing “all i want for christmas is you” yet. *dunking biscuits in milk

If you're looking for something I'm not the one!

Fuck nudes. Show me your Spotify 2024 Wrapped.

It was just brought to my attention that my revenue growth forecast was crazy high, so I just changed some numbers to make it more believable because FINANCE.

It’s that beautiful chaos that keeps my heart alive.

i just had plain water this morning. not coffee. i would avoid me if i were you. *i’m avoiding people, for their safety*

loyalty is not a choice but an intrinsic code of honor. 🤍

lazy to texting. but if i say good morning and good night text, you’re special to me.

i was watching horror movie, and in the middle of it i took my glasses off and i’m not scared anymore. problem solved. *i can’t see the ghost*

pretending to be in one of those hallmark christmas movies kinda love story. *hopelessly romantic*

the most challenging relationship is the healthy one after the toxic one. *so much to unlearn and relearn*

the goal is to grow together cuz someday we will have kids that are probably gonna be trilingual. *just saying*

if i’m being honest, nerds are sexy. they think about the impending zombie apocalypse as much as you do. *currently dating a nerd*

i choose authenticity over perfection because why not. 🤍

You might be intimately intertwined with anguish and remorse, woven into the very fabric of your being. Maybe a brighter tomorrow lies ahead, but right now, I'm sure it feels like shit.

Love is gritty, it's messy, it's painfully beautiful. It's as raw as the wounds it heals, as real as the scars it leaves. It's a testament to our humanity, a reminder of our vulnerability, a celebration of our resilience.

i just realized that no amount of time and no one can heal you but yourself. go get loved correctly and stop getting your feelings hurt. *just heal, you silly little soul*

It's not about grand gestures or fairy-tale endings. It's about the quiet moments in the middle of the night when you're both too tired to sleep. It's about the shared laughter, the silent understanding in a crowded room, the comfort in the familiar scent of their worn-out shirt.

i just wanna curl up comfortably in my blanket and cuddle up with my book. *monday mood*

the urge to book a plane ticket right now and go far away, where nobody knows my name. *when i’m hungry, i make bad decision*

when they never makes you feel like an option, they deserve a special place in your heart. 🤍

i forgot to set an alarm last night woke up on time today but i fell back asleep and almost late to work * embracing adulthood *

freedom. attitude. leather jackets. intense emotions. alluring aura. *just being a complex and magnetic person*

I'm a good mom but sometimes I drop the phone on my kid's head.

I had a physical today and was covered in bruises and scratches. I was too scared to say I had insane sex all weekend so just in case, I prepared a whole hiking story explaining how I got hurt. My medical history includes asthma and obesity. Pretty sure she would've call me on my bullshit.

Match my effort. But for the love of God, please don't match my energy.

I will always love memes. It's like microdosing the news in a way that I can accept-through inappropriate and dark humor.

If YouTube could come up with a "That wasn't me, that was my kid. Please don't mess up my algorithm" button, that'd be great. Except for the asmr toy unboxing. That was me.

Any time someone hurts me emotionally I just get funnier and hotter you are literally just giving me more power

Love getting unstuck in time ⏰

If life gives you a dilemma, make dilemonade 🍋

Last night I was attacked by a whole bunch of street mimes… and they did some unspeakable things to me

I want to be in a relationship, but like not every day

I hope this email finds you well, flexing those sarcastic muscles.

So let me get this straight babies are not only flying, but they are also armed ? this is definitely not the apocalypse I imagined.

Wednesday is the meh of the week. You’re half way through but still have two days so it’s meh.

My horoscope said that my voice has the potential to create  positive change in the world.. so be nice fuckers. We’re all living in this hell hole.

Third and final leaf pickup. If my tree decides to barf anymore, they stay. 

I kinda forget how to actually be good at this.

It's Monday and I refuse to play this game today.

It’s so weird that we care so much until we don’t…